I AM HUMAN
Sometimes I fake how strong I am and hide my naked behind an automatic smile. That mask has served me in dire times when saying 'I am not okay' seemed or seems like too much. When it feels like swallowing pride and breaking down will surely end my sad life.
Sometimes my mind catches fire and burns destructively for days. I adorn negative and torture my brain; overdosing it with toxic thoughts or comments. That is when levels of what they are saying or thinking rises effortlessly clouding my mind.
Other times I revel in comparing myself to others in secret. Indulging my mind in one of the worst self to self battles. My biological clock ticks the loudest then and my achievements seem to be nothing to be proud of. I obsess angrily over my yet to be conquered.
Sometimes I am overpowered by negative and grey. Chaos erupt within me and I feel myself shatter into a million pieces under my skin. I choke on raw pain while dripping nauseating misery. Deadly storms rage on as suppressed positive energy tries to retake my unseen throne.
But.
Most times I am this ridiculously happy soul. The sun rises within me and my skies remain blue. I plug my earphones and get through stormy days. Take long solo walks to rejuvenate my evaporating strength. I find alone time healing and meditation soothing.
Nature somehow calms me more than anything. It whistles harmoniously putting my soul at ease. The wonder of it all makes me realize how lucky and immensely blessed I am to be a part of it. Sharing air with billions of souls out there. Being a part of the living and living while at it.
I am greatly flawed and heavily scarred. Broken then mended looking like a unique mosaic. I am patched up with warm hugs and energy from the best in my world. My loved ones. The pillars that hold my crumbling together. This is who and what I am. I am human.
Do you go through such moments? Are yours more grey or brighter? I believe we all have our moments. I know because we are all human. And in being so, we will always be imperfect ❤
With Love... Black Queen!
Pics from pixabay.
I think you did a great job of depicting the trials that a lot of people face from time to time in their lives. For some, living in itself is a heroic act. Nice write.
I thrive in knowing that my demons are much alike with someone somewhere. That means those fighting can actually relate. Thanks for the read :)
I loved this so much..its so deep, heartfelt, beautiful and fifty shades of inspirational and of course it spoke to me...By the way are you a poet? It sure feels like poetry
Poetry is my therapy. Thank you so much for coming by :)
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