I Didn't Buy A Pack Of Nappies For Someone In Need - The Act Of Shame
I'm a tad disappointed in myself. This morning I went to stock up on some groceries for the week, one of my most loathed tasks. As I was wandering around the aisles, overwhelmed with the price of things (grocery shopping is one way to become instantly depressed), a lady with a baby at her chest approached me. I immediately knew that she was going to ask me for something, I felt irritated. Here I am, broke, trying to budget the very little money I have to buy a week's worth of necessities. At that moment, I didn't feel like sharing.

I thought the lady was going to ask me for money, at first, which is the usual request from beggars. But no, she very humbly (and politely) whispered the question "please can you buy me just a small pack of nappies for my baby". At this point I felt very sorry for this woman, but while I ehrmed and ahhed I did a few calculations in my head - it's nowhere near the end of the month and I really am running low on cash. I looked down and said "sorry, I can't", then moved swiftly along. Guilt ridden.
As I approached the tills though, the guilt hit me even harder. As I packed my items on to the counter one by one I realized how many of the items I actually didn't need. I didn't need the fancy cheese spread for my toast, or the name brand juices, or the hair conditioner that promises to make my hair shine. I didn't need to buy my son a bottle of bubbles to play with (he has so many toys), my husband could go without the snacks I picked out for him as an endearment. The lady, she needed those nappies.
I feel ashamed. I know what it is like to be broke, it's horrid, but to be poor, I am too privileged to know what that is like. I could have gone with out so many of the items in my trolley to make room for a cheap pack of nappies that would not only give comfort to a child, but help put a mother's mind at ease and allow her to relax, at least for a little while. I'm a mom too, I know the stresses of providing for a child, what I don't know is the courage and desperation it takes for a woman ask a stranger to give her something for free.
While I don't condone giving money to beggars, since in most instances this money is misused and abused, I do feel that we need to give what we can, which is more than we realize. We can share our food, we can go without name brand products to help raise a child (they say it takes a village)and we can give someone in need the time of day, before brushing them off, like an irritating bug.
I hope I have learnt from my mistake. I hope I take my own advice and next time maybe I will take myself out of my comfort zone, and put someone else's needs first.

I think the most important thing here is that you actually stopped and thought about it. Yes, you are right, beggars can be enormously annoying, especially when as you said you know that the funds are going to be squandered on something that you most likely wouldn't approve of, but you re-looked the situation and had empathy for the woman. You might have felt guilty, but you are not a bad person. You are a good person.
On a slightly different side, and sorry to sound so cynical but here we are in SA and there are some EXCEPTIONALLY innovative individuals out there. There is nothing to say that she wouldn't have taken the nappies straight back to the store after receiving them from you and asked for a cash refund. Nothing is impossible in this country of ours. You just simply NEVER know!
I bought two pot plants off a guy once because he approached me and I thought, hey, these will look nice in my shop... after a week or two they started to die. Somebody mentioned to me in passing that they probably didn't have any root system. I decided to check, and sure as little apples fall off trees, they were stalks that he had stuck into a pot of soil and covered with pretty little gravel stones.... which were probably stolen from someones driveway.... lol
So... don't beat yourself up too much :)
Thanks @jaynie and thank you for sharing your story too! It really is such a pity, because there are people out there who genuinely need help and support, but these con artists are making it very hard for them to innocently ask for help! I have always preferred donating to registered charities instead, but this woman caught me on an off day, I felt that for a change, I just needed to give in to the "beggary". Thanks for your motivational words, they are truer than true! xxx
pleasure honey and yes... I absolutely agree with you xxx but just know... you are not a bad person and nor should you feel guilty just because of your "once" reaction xxx
the very thought of guilt proves ro me that you are a good human being. It is hard to give hand to those in need especially to a complete stranger. cheer up! live your life dont hit yourself. lol followed and tip!
Ah man, thanks for the tip! So kind of you! My first tip ever! And I feel better too...will donate a pack of nappies to my favorite baby home.
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Being guilty proves that you're good person. Sometimes we react late but realized we must done this or that and I know we would always want to help but have our own lives to deal with. Move on life will deal with her as you deal with yours. Cheer up coz youre good!
Thank you, I can only hope that the next person she asked DID buy her the nappies!
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You did NOT do the wrong thing. Unfortunately people have a plethora of scams. How do you know she needed the nappies and wasn't going to sell it later. I'm sorry but it sounds like a scam. Buy those nappies, but donate them to the Baby Home!!!
It might have been a scam, but she seemed sincere. I did really feel terrible though. Donating to a registered NPO is probably the best route though.
20+ years in a secondhand shop in town. You got to trust me on this. It was a scam.
You won't believe it but I just read a post on our community Facebook page about a woman who was asking people to buy her tins of formula, only to find out that she WAS in fact exchanging the tins at the store for other goods! Sigh...this calls for a follow up post entitled "Don't pity me, laugh at me" :)
Not at all. It sucks to be 20+ years cynical. Your heart is exactly where it should be. Keep that spark no matter what. Channel it, but never
blindly. Those who really need help depend on it. I sound so hard, but when I see your confirmation of what I suspected, it still wants to make me cry.
I am Cornholio! You will name your baby Bungholio! Is he an albino? Holio Bungholio... will be albino... and a gringo....
The problem was just a mean attitude that festers and has to be challenged.