I'm a tad disappointed in myself. This morning I went to stock up on some groceries for the week, one of my most loathed tasks. As I was wandering around the aisles, overwhelmed with the price of things (grocery shopping is one way to become instantly depressed), a lady with a baby at her chest approached me. I immediately knew that she was going to ask me for something, I felt irritated. Here I am, broke, trying to budget the very little money I have to buy a week's worth of necessities. At that moment, I didn't feel like sharing. 

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I thought the lady was going to ask me for money, at first, which is the usual request from beggars. But no, she very humbly (and politely) whispered the question "please can you buy me just a small pack of nappies for my baby". At this point I felt very sorry for this woman, but while I ehrmed and ahhed I did a few calculations in my head - it's nowhere near the end of the month and I really am running low on cash. I looked down and said "sorry, I can't", then moved swiftly along. Guilt ridden.

As I approached the tills though, the guilt hit me even harder. As I packed my items on to the counter one by one I realized how many of the items I actually didn't need. I didn't need the fancy cheese spread for my toast, or the name brand juices, or the hair conditioner that promises to make my hair shine. I didn't need to buy my son a bottle of bubbles to play with (he has so many toys), my husband could go without the snacks I picked out for him as an endearment. The lady, she needed those nappies. 

I feel ashamed. I know what it is like to be broke, it's horrid, but to be poor, I am too privileged to know what that is like. I could have gone with out so many of the items in my trolley to make room for a cheap pack of nappies that would not only give comfort to a child, but help put a mother's mind at ease and allow her to relax, at least for a little while. I'm a mom too, I know the stresses of providing for a child, what I don't know is the courage and desperation it takes for a woman ask a stranger to give her something for free.

While I don't condone giving money to beggars, since in most instances this money is misused and abused, I do feel that we need to give what we can, which is more than we realize. We can share our food, we can go without name brand products to help raise a child (they say it takes a village)and we can give someone in need the time of day, before brushing them off, like an irritating bug.

I hope I have learnt from my mistake. I hope I take my own advice and next time maybe I will take myself out of my comfort zone, and put someone else's needs first.

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Much love - @sweetpea

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