hello loreennaa, thank you for sharing your experience with us. I think that you're a wonderful person that shouldn't give up in beeing happy. I don't like your opinion that you say that this isn't for you.. it is for the children nowadays. I think that it is also for you. Well, yes, you had terrible things to experience. But what about your life now? Look at yourself, how talented you're in writing your thoughts and giving others an impression through what you've gone. You seem to be a really nice and handsome person. It can't only be me seeing this. So let this past be part of you and who you're today but pls don't live in the past, trusting no one and don't be open-minded.
I am not sure if you understand what I exactly mean.. sorry, english is not my mother tongue ^^ Let me quote the lyrics of one of my favourite bands:
"And there will come a time, you'll see, with no more tears,
And love will not break your heart, but dismiss your fears.
Get over your hill and see what you find there,
With grace in your heart and flowers in your hair."