LauraLemons

15 days ago

Yesterday I got a text message. "Laura's gone. I'm sorry. I'm with the police now."

There is no way to brace for that. There is no big deep breath before they give you the shot. There is no bandage for that sucking wound. Like some movie cliche I asked if it was a horrible fucking joke.
We all know it never is.

laura.jpg

Yesterday Laura "finally got suicide right".

I laugh and cry as I write that. Thinking back on endless nights of chatting. Watching movies together on the phone. All the times she tried and we laughed in our morbid way about how she couldn't even do that right. Deep, rolling, belly laughs. She always said she was going to get it one day. For me to prepare for it. To look after Mouse if I could.
When she tried with the xanax, I woke up to missed calls. Text messages. Thursday there were none of those calls, because she knew I was going to talk her down.
Again.
I was going to make her stay. Again.
And she was so tired.

lauratxt.png

This was all I got that night. The perfect period to the end of her sentence. This, she would also laugh about.

It is hard to think that I'll never see my beautiful friend again. The fast and furious friend I made through Bethanie's death. The friend I laughed with until we were sick. Talked murder shows with. That brought me to Steemit. My weird friend that liked to take pictures of herself crying. I would always compliment the bags under her eyes because they were so her. She was wrapped in exhaustion and sadness and it drew me to her like a tragic flame. I would burn every night with her.

And then it is all snuffed out.

20139603_156064828298060_8200470534971953614_n.jpg

A painting she "made for" me.

My heart rattles and shakes in my chest for her. But selfishly. It aches for my friend. When I should be celebrating that she is free. I know it is greedy to mourn her, because she didn't want to be here anymore. All the times I stopped her, I was on borrowed time. She was being rented. I was extending the lease.

I was so sure... that one day that need to leave would fade. And probably would have, with enough time. By that time I would be visiting with her, us wearing our fuzzy pjs, eating junk food, and binge watching all the seasons of Forensic Files. That was the plan for later this year. I will mourn that lost plan, too.

I will mourn all the art she won't be making.

I will mourn the loss of her.

But I won't mourn her.
She wouldn't want me to. And I know that.

@lauralemons brought me here, she placed me in the hands of the Steemit community where she knew I would be loved and cared for. Where I would find support. And friends. Where I would find a family to create with. To shine with. To love with. To lose with.

She brought me here, and left, knowing that I was being well looked after. I would never have been able to thank her enough for what she gave me. Between her friendship, her love, and her guidance, my life is better because of her. She molded who I am today. SHE made me Stitchybitch. SHE made me happy again. SHE gave me purpose.

Laura was my friend. Laura was my mentor. Laura was a big part of my heart. Laura was, but who and what she left in her wake will forever flourish even if she isn't here to tend to it.

I love you so much, you bitch. You better haunt me or I'm going to be so pissed.

EDIT: Please, if you can, visit her final expenses gofundme. Donations are needed and welcomed, but loving comments are even more valuable. Thank you. <3

luara.jpg

Please get help if you are considering suicide.

US residents:

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline

Call 1-800-273-8255

Available 24 hours everyday

Online Chat

Crisis text line

International people in crisis, find your helpline here


stitchhead.png
(This is also by @lauralemons)

Authors get paid when people like you upvote their post.
If you enjoyed what you read here, create your account today and start earning FREE STEEM!
Sort Order:  trending

May her found the light pathway - resteemed

you must feel so numb and heartbroken right now - I'm very sorry :'(

·

Upon seeing your comment I had to take a moment to reflect and wonder if I was, in fact, numb. Or if I had processed it all.
I think I have processed it and accepted it. I don't really want to say that I "moved on" but I feel a lot more at peace with it. Especially after seeing how much she touched other people and how many are moved by her loss. <3 <3 <3

·

It's always a tough time to lose a friend, the only way I've found to deal with it is to accept they are gone, and be stronger from knowing them over weaker from the loss.

Oh stitchy, ohhh stitchy, stitchy, stitchy. <3

·

<3 <3 <3

·

...reflects how lots of us feel...

Thanks Corky!

This is a really great tribute to your friend. You are right she would not want you to mourn her but you are allowed to mourn the times you never got to spend together :( you know my DMs are always open if you want to chat, hugs.

·

Thank you so much for saying this, I honestly didn't think the post was good enough. But I know how much she liked raw, so perhaps it was perfect.
I think that will be the greatest mourning of them all, the lost time. The lost art.
And thank you so much for the offer. <3 You're so awesome. I probably will hit you up in DM soon. :)

·
·

The post was perfect because it was honest, hopefully it's a bit cathartic for you to let it out :)

I'm so sorry for your pain. I didn't have the pleasure of knowing her but I know she will be missed by many.

We got you x

·

She will be very, very missed. What is funny, is I don't think she ever expected that. How very wrong she was.
Thank you for all the love! <3 I don't know how I would have gotten through last night without you and everyone at MSP.

·
·

We are family, a crazy dysfunctional one - yes - but we are there when another is in need. Love you muh bitch.

·
·

While she will be sorely missed by all those she "touched" (even if only virtually), I can only hope somehow she's found the peace she was so desperately searching for.

·

And we've got you muxxy. <3

Don't you dare forget the value you hold in this place and within yourself. She was so proud of you and you were the best one could ask for in friendship. It's not everyday you find your person.

Thanks for being that person and finding a group of friends that embrace you as you are right now. Thanks for sharing this post. I will miss her and love seeing how much she meant to so many in the community.

·

The outpouring of love and support never ceases to blow me away. Sometimes I just step back and marvel at it. Trying to take it all in.
Thank you for being my friend, Kubby. Thank you for never letting me forget how loved I am by even just you.
I hope nothing bad ever happens to you, but if it does, I hope I can be there a mere fraction of how much you have been here for me!

I am sorry, I know this pain and loss too intimately. My mother succeeded in taking her life, and a piece of me, in 1998. My heart aches for you and her family. If you need to talk...I am here anytime.

·

Oh god, my heart. I am so, so, so sorry that your mother felt the need to leave that way. 💔
Thank you so much and it goes both ways! My inbox is always open.

So very sorry for your loss and pain.
Love and many hugs to you my friend.

·

Thank you so much, my darling. <3 I am so glad that you're part of my life and are my partner in darkness.
hughughug

I am so unsure where to go with this comment and feel so deeply a sense of loss and guilt, that is quite irrational.

I had seen @lauralemons on the platform from time to time but never latched on, and hadn't seen the posts about struggling with alcohol or I would have been trying to help.

I feel I could have helped too.

That why it hurts so much.

I want to try and reach out to you and have, to see if I can reach into your life and offer you something too.

If only I had of connected through you to @lauralemons...

but who knows, maybe nothing I could have said or done would have made any difference anyway.

I have been one degree of separation from dog knows how many suicides now.

I don't know what that is supposed to mean.

I reiterate the offer I have made to you on discord and in dm several times
I am there for you, and have something concrete to offer you
lol, and it's not god
in case you were thinking that

anyway, my commiserations for your loss, and I know that means didlysquat right now

·

Just that you took the time to stop by, read through and comment back shows you care and are supportive of stitch in this trying of times.

Much hat tip to you Sir Roo.

I hope you are not thinking back over the things you could have and didn't do and feeling regret.

Just think about the ones you did save and who they may have gone onto have a positive influence on.

Works for me.

<3

·
·

lol, I think the only ones I have saved so far have four legs @sammosk.

thanks for your kind words mate of mine.

·
·
·

U just quietly support your minnows and show the <3 :D

Thanks, spaingaroooooo!!!

·
·
·
·

thanks mate, I am chuffed to think you think that I help now. Maybe I do?

·
·
·
·
·

You might not say much, but every up-vote is encouraging :D
MANY have noticed! ;)

·
·
·
·
·
·

well shucks, thanks again.
I always feel like I never get to people's posts, and feel like a bad friend and follower, more often than a good one, so thanks for saying those nice things

·

First: Spain, I love ya. <3 Thank you for reaching out so much, and I am sorry that I haven't been in contact nearly as much as I should. I will work on that!

I understand the pain and guilt you feel, but I want you to try to eliminate that feeling, if you can. Or try to move on from it in a positive way.

One thing that I CAN say about my dear friend is that she could not be moved or swayed from her ways or thoughts easily. Which isn't really a bad thing, unless so much of their life is pain, negativity, and sadness. Which it was. Positive sentiments, encouragement, and advice did not go far with her, and that is okay. But it made it so hard to help her. And especially to save her from herself.

I have found that regret is one of the strongest, and at the same time, most futile feelings to experience. Please don't plague yourself with the could haves and should haves. Down that road lies madness. <3 <3 <3

·
·

no, in the end, I am pretty cool with it, and have mostly given up regrets.
Certainly this one is without true power, because I was still removed enough from the person, I only knew of her.

It's more her connection to you, it is insane to find myself only one person removed again, from someone who ended up there.

But believe me, thanks for noting and for caring.

I hope I can help you soon. I hope I can steer you towards external help, it's not really that I can do sweet fuck all, personally.
I just know some things that have helped me so much over these last few insane years.

I have a few tools in the old toolbox these days, and can get them out to knock people over the head with, that's all

haha
hope we talk at some point

I am stepping back just a bit from both steemit and discord, trying to get it to something not life and sanity threatening.

but you shout out and I am there
big hugs

Beautifully written. Keep your eyes and ears open though - her spirit might come around to pay you a visit. Thinking of you. <3

·

Thank you so much for saying it was beautiful, that means so much to me! <3
And I have to tell you, I kind of think she did. That day before I even found out, I had some very strange things happening in the house, and the same with her best friend.
I think she was making the rounds. :)

This is very sad for me and I didn't know her well at all... we were following each other, so I know we supported each other's art...

My heart is heavy, especially for Laura and those close to her...

·

I try to respect that the person took the choice and if the suffering of this world was too much for them and they decided to move on, that's okay and I respect them for making a harder choice than I can make.

I do feel compassion and a little unhappy for stitchy and the entire steemit community for the loss of her dear friend. :(

But then I think about the macro instead and that each of us is really just a tiny speck in this giant universe and and we should just feel so fortunate that our paths even crossed.

I just wish there was enough hours in the day for me to be attentive enough to spot the signs before anyone took that option, if there was anything I could have done. But if we all just try to do the best we can all the time things should be just fine?

It's fine to grieve tho and feel bad, just don't stay there for too long. <3

Much loves to all.

RIP to a great writer. Too sudden, too saddening.

DQmZ9Ueo53g58yXpTKvG3Ce8aJWFWdFgCKCkXrDKYPDQrfw_1680x8400.jpg
Reading through her content tonight, she really did seem to be in a lot of pain and this was her way out..

·

Awwww, I love what you did with my little header picture she made. <3
She really, really was. I hope she is resting easy now. I just wish she could have gotten better and lived with us a lot longer.

I am so glad you visited her page. You can get to know her so well through her posts, she was so transparent. <3

@stitchybitch я чувствую и принимаю Вашу боль от потери друга. Когда мы убиваем себя, мы убиваем весь мир. Можно совместно найти причины , чтобы остаться здесь. Очень жаль, что @lauralemons не захотела искать эти причины.
Скорбим вместе.

·

Это ... было абсолютно красиво и фактически переместило меня до слез. Спасибо, что оставил мне это трогательное сообщение. Я не знал, чего ожидать, когда я переведу его, но это самый приятный сюрприз, который у меня был в возрасте. Спасибо, мой друг, за то, что я утешил тебя и твои подвижные слова.

·
·

OMG, that was a shock too

I'm heartbroken for you babe.
You were clearly the best friend she could have ever hoped for.
A truly moving post @stitchybitch

I only joined Steemit a couple of days ago. Already I have read other posts about Laura. It's very easy to feel how special this young woman was, and what really shines through is the same message in all posts - that Laura's influence in you all, will live on.

I, as many of us have, have also lost very special people in the past, and the feelings stirred in me when reading these posts has genuinely brought tears to my eyes. The cliches fill the mind and the futility grabs hold of you, and you know that you have to be strong for them. You have to carry on. You are a part of their legacy.

It's a very sensitive and difficult topic and we can react in so many ways, but what I have seen and read on here has been 100% from the heart. Beautiful words, for an obviously beautiful woman.

Thank you, for this post, @stitchybitch and for sharing further insight into somebody who was an amazing person, who will be missed so much, but who will never, ever be forgotten.

·

I'm only a first tier observer at this time, I only know many of Laura's friends, I did not have the pleasure of making her acquaintance. But WELCOME, you will find a lot of potential friends here in this post, and more on steemit at large! I will follow you and watch for Quality Content :D

Hi @stitchybitch :)

You probably don't know me, but Laura was one of the first people who supported me during my early days of Steemit. She made an incredible difference to my perception of this community, and she was an absolute gem in every way that will be sorely missed.

I am so sorry for your loss. It shocked me when I heard the news too.

I have mused on the tributes that others have left her that I want to run an annual art prize to celebrate her memory. I'd love if you could help in this endeavor by way of being a judge; when I finally figure out how I am going to run something of this magnitude.

I'd love to hear your opinions on such a thing.

·

I think that would be nice and given the way steemit works perhaps you could set up an account for the ongoing support of winners, supporters and judges?

Not sure. Just an idea.

I don't think taking on additional commitments would be great for stitchy at this time tho.. so maybe wait on that one.

·

I would love to help in any way possible. Laura was an inspiration to me and I would check her blog every day in anticipation of new writings. A tribute to her is a beautiful idea.

·
·

It's a thing I'm definitely going to press ahead on. I'll write a post in a few days once I think of how I'm going to run the thing. :)

·

I am so glad that she supported you and helped you flourish here! When she finally got me to join, she did so much to get people to notice me and I don't know if I would have kept going if it wasn't for her.

She really was just so wonderful to everyone, even if she wasn't so wonderful to herself most of the time. I wish that she knew how amazing she really was, just by the little things she did for those around her. <3

I am sure you are hurting a bit, too, and if you need to work through it, my Discord is always open to you.

I would absolutely love to be involved with this project. Please, let me know! I think she would love things done in her honor. And seeing other people benefit and grow in her name would be a really touching thing to witness. <3

I am so sorry for your loss @stitchybitch. I did not have the pleasure of knowing your friend. I wish i had. Please know we are all here for you.. My deepest condolences to you and @lauralemons family

·

Thank you so much, BTC. <3
I wish you could have known her, she was the darkest bright spot in my life. I am comforted that part of her is immortalized on the blockchain, so I can always go and visit. If you ever want to get to know her, she was very, very open here.

I am so sorry for you and the communities loss. I am new to steemit so I never got to interact with her but judging from the out pouring of love here. I missed a real special person. If anyone ever feels like suicide is the way out, I want you to know you have a friend in me, even if you don't know me. I will stay up all night talking shit, laughing, crying whatever. I would want that from you guys, so I am willing to be that. I need friends,,I am a introvert usually. Lets take care of each other. Cheers!!

2017-09-08 13_18_34-Steem Now.png

I saw this after I had heard. I am not sure who she had as a curation trail leader, but it was a somber reminder that even the distant people who barely knew her were touched by her in some way.

·

Awwwwww! <3 <3 <3

I can't even say a thing 😟

·

It's okay, sometimes there isn't anything you can. <3

So sad she's gone.

·

Just be appreciative that you knew of her and take the torch onward. <3

·

I'm so sorry that you're sad. But it is beautiful that her reach was so wide.
I am sure through this sadness, a lot of good will grow. <3

This is a really lovely tribute Stitchy. Sorry you lost your friend. 😢

·

Thank you so much for saying that! It was really cathartic to write it out, even though it was hellish during.
Markdowns and tears do not mix. 😂
Thank you, Choochoo.❤

The day i decide I have time and I can come back to steemit I read this :( She will be missed

·

I am so very sorry that you had to find out this way, it breaks my heart. If you need to talk, my discord inbox is always open.
Much love to you. ❤

What a beautiful testament to your friendship. I am so grateful that you shared this. None of us know our true value. Everything we do and say touches others in deep and meaningful ways and if we could all see the joy we bring to the world, we each might feel less pain. I am sure your friendship was as important to her as it is to you. Celebrate the wonderful memories you have and continue on your wonderful journey of love and support. Through your friendship with Laura, you have both touched my heart deeply. ❤️

·

What an absolutely beautiful comment. <3
I honestly an trying to find the right words to reply to this.

I think so many people don't realize how their existence ripples through our own. She brought so much to the lives of others, but was so blind to it. I hate that she had such heavy blinders on sometimes. I hope she DOES know that she brought so many people smiles and love, even when she was in her darkest places.

I will carry her with me always. I am celebrating her, and will continue to do so every day. <3

Thank you so much for your beautiful words. They warmed my heart.

What a lovely tribute to your friend, gone too soon. RIP @lauralemons

I don't have any useful words for this right now.
Thank you for posting this, it made me emotional and removed the anger.

·

I am so glad that I could help somehow and soothe one part of the pain with this. Thank you for reading and for commenting. I know you're hurting, too. Please feel free to message me if you need to talk. I have been hiding a bit but you can vent at me until my computer freezes. <3

·
·

Thank you so much for your offer! I will definitely keep it in mind.

Excellent post in sharing your relationship with her. Her art is wonderful and I like to cross stitch too. She will be missed. Sorry you must suffer her loss. Wish I could have known her.

·

I wish you could have known her, too. Her art was just so... unique and quirky. I loved everything she made.
Hey, some good came from this! Another cross stitcher! Do you like subversive xstitch?
I found myself being sad over the weirdest thing earlier. I was supposed to teach her to knit. Maybe some day I'll teach her to knit with stardust yarn in the void. ❤

·
·

That is so sweet .. :) .. I googled new to me... right now I am working on some free form embroidery on a Zen pattern mandala . May be a while before I finish it.. great stuff .. plan to post some progress photos soon will let you know when I do.

What friend, what a sad story, what happened to you? why would she do that ... no suicide is terrible ... she had problems? Why would not I ask for help

I don't even know what to say, lovely. This is such a beautiful tribute to a beautiful person that I never knew.

·

I am so glad you think it was beautiful. It honestly seemed like a lot of rambling and my hands were shaking as I tried to put it together. I think you would have liked her. She was a funny, dark chick. <3

This post received a 20% vote by @netuoso courtesy of @gmuxx from the Minnow Support Project ( @minnowsupport ). Join us in Discord.

Be sure to go to https://steemit.com/~witnesses, scroll to the bottom of the page, and vote for @netuoso.

Sorry for your loss, she sounds like an amazing person

·

Thank you so much, Lizzy. She really was amazing.
If you ever feel up to it, you can get to know her pretty well on her steemit page. She was painfully transparent about her life, so you can get to know her pretty well even though she is gone. <3

Help post.All dollar i will earn from this post will be given to help the flood victim people.do share among friends too.
https://steemit.com/introduceyourself/@anilmehta00/flood-in-nepal

So sorry for your loss. Such a beautiful soul.

This is really sad news. She was an amazing artist haled her rightful place on the platform. She's already missed by those who knew her. How is they never know how much they will missed?

She is forever immortalized on the blockchain.

She´s free for sure , I´ll never forget her art :S I feel very sad. Sorry for ur loss Stitchy

·

I'm sorry that you're sad, Yu, and thank you. <3
And please, never, ever forget her art. It is a very beautiful thing that grew from her pain. I hope it lasts forever in people's minds.
She is free, and left us many beautiful things to remember her by.

·
·

I will study her blog and her art a lot !!! She was one of my first Followed <3 thanks to you

So sorry about your friend. I got to this community too recently to have known her, but I'm honestly touched at all the things that people have been sharing about her.

Sending light to all of her loved ones.

If I can offer any assistance at all, please feel free to reach out. <3...

Wow. This gave me pause. Made me think. I've recently seen my niece go through a similar situation after her dad committed suicide. After several failed attempts where she managed to get there just in time or talk him down, as well. Your piece is a beautiful tribute to your friend, and when my niece is ready for it, I plan to let her read it too. hugs

Sending positive vibes and well wish's to you.
And to all of her friends and family.
I am sorry for the loss steemit has suffered,I know she was popular,saw her around and read a few of her post.
Very good post and links for help!!!
Namaste!

Been seeing all these posts about Laura.

So sorry for your loss. Can't imagine the pain of dealing with a death from suicide.

I'm sorry for your loss, I hope I never have to write a post like yours.

She was a really lucky girl to have many many friends like you my all wall was filled with the pictures of her she got so many loving people as she was also loveable :'( heart beats got faster than ever ! omg :( this post brought me to tears about how you both were crazy for one another :( :'( but it always god thing

Hmmm...very sorrowful moment. ..may her gentle soul rest in peace. My condolences goes to the entire family n #steemit members. R.I.P #Laura

Hmmm...very sorrowful moment. ..may her gentle soul rest in peace. My condolences goes to the entire family n #steemit members. R.I.P #Laura

supper idea and u....

Take heart and be strong @stitchy

@stitchybitch Thanks for sharing your activities with finding up and jogging. The 1st yrs tend to be the hardest. We are at our for six yrs non-halt.Carry on Performing at it. Perseverance and exertions tend to be the keys to results.

Ohh !!
I'm so sorry for your pain :/

·

Thank you so much. The pain... is a lot less. I've been putting a lot of it in perspective and making this post helped so much.

Please know that you are far from alone and that everyone who has ever lost someone dear to them in this manner is right beside you in spirit. My mother finally 'got it right' in 2006 after numerous attempts at suicide, so I am all too aware of the feeling you describe of not being prepared for the moment it becomes reality even though there have been previous incidents and even though you were 'warned'.

I have resteemed and upvoted this post and will also follow you. I'm here if you need a virtual hug or another weirdo to talk to ;o) xx

This post received a 20% vote by @minnowsupport courtesy of @sammosk from the Minnow Support Project ( @minnowsupport ). Join us in Discord.

Upvoting this comment will help support @minnowsupport.

I am very sorry for your lost! It really needs a lot of power to write about your friend ! Be strong

This is so sad! Sorry for your loss.

·

Thank you, Jonjon. ❤ (you'd think there would be a better response for condolences)
It is sad, but also happy. She isn't in constant pain anymore, and that is worth a lot.

Laura was one of the earliest Steemians we had on the site. Whether people know it or not, the community that we love has been deeply shaped by her. She will be missed by all.

Peace, love, and cyber hugs....

@lauralemons, you will be missed and remembered. You live still here in Steemit and eternally in the blockchain.

flower-2514519_1280.jpg
"I will mourn all the art she won't be making.

I will mourn the loss of her.

But I won't mourn her.
She wouldn't want me to. And I know that."

Beautiful words from you...

Thank you @stitchybitch for allowing us to feel a part of your pain. @lauralemons seems to have been an important person in your life. Know that she will continue to be going forward as well. I know as I've experienced a trauma of this kind as well. I cannot go to "our" favorite coffee house without looking around to see him there. Some days I even feel like he is there though I know he is not. We can never really know the tipping point no matter how much we intellectualize the pain. Be well and bless you!

So sorry @stitchybitch - I felt everything you're probably feeling right now when my dad took his life...I blamed myself that our love wasn't enough and when he failed two times before he followed through I also felt like we were also buying time. My heart aches for your pain and everyone else saddened. Stay strong and know her energy will live forever. Lots of love to you 💞

·

I am so sorry that you lost your father this way and you had to feel that kind of pain. I hope that you've found some peace in some way, or at the very least, more closure.

Sometimes when people really want to leave, there is nothing you can do to stop them.

There was one time, when she told me she had ordered pills. We talked for hours, I was begging her to cancel the order for the pills, to let me get her help. She told me how trapped she felt in her own body. In the pain. The sadness. I spent a long time thinking on that, especially when she disappeared for a while. She never took them that time. But I was so sure she was gone, I mourned her before her death. And weirdly, that somehow has made this whole thing easier. In my mind, she has died a couple times.

I hope that you know that there is nothing you could have done differently, and I am sure that he loved you more than words could ever convey. Just sometimes... the pain and sadness eclipses it in shadow.

Much love to you, and my inbox is always open. <3

·
·

I can't imagine the pain she felt, but I do know with my own illness pain does make you feel trapped. I'm okay, but I hope you are too. Love to you always and I'll see you soon on discord. Hugs to @stitchybitch 😘

Nikki, I am so sorry I put you off this morning when you wanted to talk. I have a terrible phone and was leaving for work almost right away. My route to my car pool meet-up has horrible reception, 75% of it is "no service" but for this it would have been appropriate to be late for work, for a friend. It will not happen again, my dear.

On the other hand, I am glad you were able to write such a powerful post.
You are turning your loss into a definite positive for others, and it seems yourself as well. Thoughts and prayers coming your way, I am humbled to be your friend...

·

Seriously, you are perfectly fine! I was absolutely wasted and grief crying! If I did call all you would have heard was blubbering! LOL
Thanks for being an amazing friend! <3
And thank you so much for the compliments. This one was hard to write and came out more emotional and rambling than I intended. Thanks for reading it, it means so much. :)

·
·

On my end, it has extreme clarity and is razor sharp!
I was a bit worried all day, waiting for your text. I am not a
worry wart, but I was concerned 0.O

I've lost comrades to suicide thank you for taking the time for the beautiful humanizing tribute and awareness effort.

Hello @stitchybitch,
Please let me know if you need to talk or anything at all.
I am proud of you for all you did for @lauralemons her pain is no more, she will be missed here on Steemit.
Her memory lives on with our happyness.
I love her and I love you. We all will be together again...
Be well my dear. hugs....

How very tragic and sad. I hope she finds peace, and you too.

·

Love and Peace to you too spiral <3.

·

I am pretty sure she has peace now, it is just on us to find ours now that she has. <3

i HAVE SOMETHING SIMILAR TO THIS TOO. I DREW A PICTURE OF MY FRIEND HE ASKED ME TOO. LIKE A LAST REQUEST FOR ME TO KEEP DRAWING . soory for the caps lock. to keep drawing because before i knew it he was gone . heroin OD. one of the best friend i ever had. sorry for your loss

Well Said.

I'm sad to see her go, but I'm happy she is free from her pain.

·

Thank you so much.
And I am glad she finally doesn't hurt anymore. it was excruciating.

I'm sorry for your loss. I feel like I knew @lauralemons, but I didn't. Thanks for sharing a small piece of her with us.

i have no words as I spent the better part of a night crying about all of this. Thanks for that link.

·

I'm so sorry for your tears and your pain. But I hope that through this, so many people find each other. I probably would have never become friends with her if Bef hadn't died. Grief brings people together in such a strong way.
Friendships forged in fire are precious things.

I hope that through the loss of her, that so much good comes to others, because that is all you can wish for now. There is also so much comfort in her being immortalized on the blockchain. She was so transparent about her life, that even with her gone, people can know her like a friend.

<3

I feel sorry for you darling
I hope you will be strong and get over it

Much love 😍

RIP Laura :(

I have been surrounded by suicide for decades. I always have the same thoughts: It IS okay to do that, but if you could just look at yourself through my eyes first. This applies here too, my first "online friend" and definitely a huge loss to the Steem community. I do not even get sad over suicide nowadays, I merely get somber and have the same exact thought: "But for the grace of God, here go I." I hope it wasn't the messy scene most of my friends have chosen, but as peaceable to the observer as it must always be to the subject. I do not have much but if I can send anything to a verifiable account/wallet to help with expenses, I will.

·

I am so sorry that you've been plagued by so much tragedy and loss. It makes my heart ache for you, that you've had to feel these things at all.
I wish there was a way to show people how we see them, how much potential and light they exude into our lives. If they could see this, I bet many people would stay.
Thankfully, she hung herself, so it wasn't... messy. But I fear that her roommate that found her (and tried to bring her back) is not fairing so well at the moment. I have offered to come from Florida with another of her friends to help with whatever they need.
If you ever need to talk, my discord inbox is open.
Thank you, from the bottom of my heart for the offer to send money. You absolutely do not have to, the thought in itself is enough. <3
However, if you wouldn't mind sharing the gofundme for her final expenses, any penny will help.

yea most of just need to be seen beautiful

I'm so sorry for you. I don't know you and I didn't know your friend, but your post has brought tears to my eyes. I'm so sorry x

·

I am so sorry if I caused you any sadness! I hope that I moved you in a good way, in a way of love!

Omg, I hope she find the pain....

This is such a sad story. The question that comes to mind is how does anyone resolve a mental illness? You are correct that she has gone on to a better place but I don't know anyone whom knows definitely anything about this place we supposedly move on to. Thank you for bring awareness of this serious issue.

·

Trouble being, that I don't think there really is a true resolution for mental illness. It just gets... better sometimes.
I am glad she is free and off to the next adventure. In fact, I am almost envious that she knows the answer to one of the biggest questions out there.

I am hoping that people that see the outpouring of love for her, and if they feel like leaving, maybe they will reconsider. <3

·
·

I am not sure of what awaits us. I have read about people that have had returned from the dead. I am not saying what they experienced is BS but I don't know if it is true or just something they experienced. I don't fear what will happen (like I have any say in the matter) but I'm not exactly looking forward to it. Life is hard (sometimes) but it is also good. If you have to go well make the best of it. Regarding how the mind works (mental illness), that is a big mystery to me. Still when things like this come to my attention, I can help but feel sad. I appreciate your point of view.

Any mans death diminishes me, because I am involved in Mankinde; And therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls; It tolls for thee.

The above sombre piece resonates with me, I feel like I knew her. I saw another tribute of her by @chelsea88 yesterday. I can attest that she had serious talent from her drawings. My sincere condolence to @stitchybitch and other great friends who sorely missed her. She was a great person. Sleep on Laura.

·

Thank you so much for this beautiful comment. <3
Her talent is something that I mourn greatly. I can't stop thinking about all the artwork she had left in her. All those creations that the world will never see. I loved all the variety of her styles. She was so diverse.

Thank you for your condolences. <3 Much love to you!
And I love that "sleep on".

·
·

That galaxy painting is a masterpiece. True talent is hard to miss and like most talented souls have their troubles lurking. I've seen other tributes from other steemians. It's amazing you gotta know some people when they are no more. At least I've seen you at the PAL's discord channel. But I can't remember seeing her there. All in all she's finally free. I think that could count as something.

So sorry for your loss. No rambling here. Just a heartbroken friend that feels a very deep pain.

Omg no...I didn't know her personally but I did follow her. I can't...Man i don't know what to say. I'm so sad right now...

Thinking of you at the difficult time and sending good energies your way. She was a talented soul and will thrive in her next life, which I hope you be happier for her x

I can't even begin to imagine what you're going through and the heartbreak you must feel. I am so sorry. Sending warm thoughts and prayers your way.

I'm very sory :(

·

The @OriginalWorks bot has determined this post by @stitchybitch to be original material and upvoted it!

OW2.gif

To call @OriginalWorks, simply reply to any post with @originalworks or !originalworks in your message!

To nominate this post for the daily RESTEEM contest, upvote this comment!

For more information, Click Here!

The worst thing about suicide is how bloody fucking irreversible it is.

I'd just discovered Laura's work the night before her death. I loved her quirky drawings and stories so much that I read dozens of her posts. If she knew how much pleasure and enjoyment she brought to so many people, would it have made a difference? No - she was clearly in too much pain for that.

My father also killed himself before I ever got the chance to know him. Who knows what we could have meant to each other?

It flat-out sucks. It sucks that her story is over and it sucks that she suffered like she did and it sucks that there's nothing anyone can do about it now.

I'm glad she's at peace. I just wish there was another way of finding it. My thoughts are with her friends, who have left so many moving tributes of this remarkable person.

·

How funny is it that you found her right before. Well, perhaps funny isn't the right word. But I am sure it would make her laugh if she saw all the traffic on her page and love she was getting after she was gone. "Shit, my blog is doing great now that I'm dead! Figures!"

She was in blinding amounts of pain. Every single day was terrible for her. To be honest, I don't think I could have dealt with what she did on a daily basis without doing the same. :/

I am so sorry about your father. I know you've probably heard all the words from everyone you've ever told and it probably doesn't sooth that wound. I am just glad he stayed on earth long enough to give you the gift of life.

You're right. It sucks. It does. But somehow... there is comfort to be found in her being immortalized in the blockchain. For shaping so much here, and shaping her friends. For making Steemit such an amazing experience for so many other users, and bringing light to such bad things.

I hope that continues long after her departure in her honor.

·
·

You remind me of Anne Sexton's comment when she heard of Sylvia Plath’s suicide: “Good career move.”

The idea that you can be in that amount of pain for so long that you can't conceive of it ever ending, it really is a terrible thing to contemplate.

On the other hand, it's heartwarming to see that she had so much love and admiration from so many friends, and to see the way they're coming together to honor her final wishes. The best thing everyone can do in this situation is to go on, and to carry her memory. And you've all been doing a wonderful job of that.

Your friends art is wonderful. Very potent. Your blog post will swell up many viewers.

I tried to donate but my card was declined for no good reason, might be because my bank is in England.

Such beautiful words for such difficult emotions. I will leave it at that and just tell you that you will not forget her, and will have lasting memories, even though she is gone.

·

You are absolutely right, take the good from the bad and just be grateful and happier/better for the knowing.

I'm glad I met you and stitchy too. <3

·

I am so glad that you found this beautiful. It was a pretty raw post and it was really hard to write at the time. I've reread it over and over and over.

Writing this was a definite catharsis.

<3 <3 <3 Thank you for your sweet words. Even though they were brief, they were touching.

·
·

Most of the time, when dealing with grief, it's far too personal to try to imbibe it with one's own perspective. I didn't want to imply that you were grieving incorrectly or that you should do things differently. As long as you don't let it fester (I think that's where people have issues, when they become trapped in the emotion, as I've done before) I know that grief is good for the soul.

@uniwhisp is absolutely right when she says that it's not bad. Btw, I love the word catharsis, it reminds me of cathedral, and it's an awesome word. +1 to you.

Sending love and hugs my friend!

·

Hugs for you Katie. <3

I'm very sorry for your loss

I am so sorry. I hope the best for you!

·

Thank you so much. <3

This is so sad to hear. I hope anyone who is in a dark place is able to find help to pull them back from the edge.

·

As do I. I hope that anyone here that has felt the intense need to leave... maybe they have seen the outpouring of love on the platform. Maybe even realize that people in their lives would miss them just as much. Try to work towards help and finding a bigger purpose to hang on for.

You should be able to accept the fact, the departure of @lauralemons has indeed become the choice of her own, keep the spirit and move to become a more successful!

Upvoted. -@splendorhub

I have lost my friends 2 years ago, I cried like crazy.My heart is broken. RIP Luala, I don't know you but you will always be here with us.

In this wonderful post, @lauralemons gives some excellent tips on how to succeed without taking shortcuts. After all, she worked hard for 5 long years before she could call herself self-employed.

Thanks @stitchybktch

hello @stitchybitch my best wishes always with you and I hope you will get success very soon
follow me @aliraza55 thank you.👍😊

Haunting photo of Laura staring right back at us with her heartfelt gaze.

This is absolutely heartbreaking....So sorry to hear about this.

I am so sorry for your loss. I have been following Laura because I love her art. I knew she was struggling with some sickness and couldn't go out much.

sorry for your loss and may she rest now in peace

Damn!!! I feel so sorry for u my friend!! May god give you all the strength to deal with the situation...

That's very saddening :( rip

RIP Lauralemons

She didn't know me, but her posts reached me.
Thank you for your personal tribute and sharing the person you knew. I wish I could find words that feel worthy to both comfort you and those that new her well, and to do justice to the person I admired so much.
Hers was one of the first posts I read on steemit, when she wrote of her struggle people responded in a way I hadn't seen on line before, and had me believe that it was a different platform from the ones I had used before.
I still believe that.
The world of steemit was so much more with her as a part of it.
I use her badges regularly. Today I hesitated because I was worried it would be disrespectful or difficult for those who knew her well.
But I went ahead and used them as a humble tribute to her the person who unknowingly touched my life. X

Didn't know her, sorry for your loss Stitchy, stay strong

I am so sorry. please accept my condolence . May her gentle soul rest in peace.

@stitchybitch We are sorry for your loss HUG, our deepest condolences from the Philippines :(

We talked a bunch privately over the months. I am saddened by this news.

I had a feeling the last several weeks something was terribly off, worse than usual.

I don't even know what else to say right now.

I am really feeling a little empty right now.

I know how Laura has felt at times, maybe now more than ever.

I am sorry.

RIP and I mean this P part a lot for Laura.

Peace.

@stitchybitch, I'm extremely sorry to hear about the passing of @lauralemons. I did not know her personally but through your post and others posts, I can see that she was a big part of what made Steemit Steemit and that she touched many.

Mental health and suicide are still shrouded by stigma, I'm so glad that you shared the links to the hotlines.

Please take care of yourself and hold on to the awesome memories of your times with @lauralemons ...and know there are many out here that care and are willing to listen.

Shivers, i'm buzzing reading this. Thank you so much. You are loved

I just found this out. I am so sad, I cry with you. After I read one or two posts of her, my heart was reaching out to her. I put her on the prayer list in christian-trail. I am so sorry "stitchy". I can just pray for your hurting heart that you may find comfort some way or other.
PS I was drawn to you the same way when I first met you in discord. I saw a beautiful heart. Never leave me and the steemit community. Much Love and BIG HUG!

Congratulations @stitchybitch!
Your post was mentioned in the hit parade in the following categories:

  • Comments - Ranked 5 with 143 comments
  • Pending payout - Ranked 3 with $ 311,83

Thanks

I am so sorry Stitchy. I wasn't blessed to know her, but I am heartbroken for the loss of your friend.

This is heartbreaking. I love how you have written this with deep compassion for your friend's experience. Sending you love.

that's sad. I'm very sorry :(

Everytime I come with a post of someone that was friends with Laura and see how People Loved her. And how this situation happen gets me so sad. All my Love to You. All the friends and family.

Truly sorry for your loss. A tragedy. I never knew @lauralemons personally, and sorry that we never met, and yet still I feel that one of our own has been taken from us. May you, her friends and family find comfort and may she rest in peace. With love from the UK.

i hope you'll notice me...

Dearest Steemians, I need Sponsor for my DRAWING CONTESTS... Please help me and let us nurture our talents in this beautiful community!

https://steemit.com/steemit/@mikekenlytungal/dearest-steemians-i-need-sponsor-for-my-drawing-contests-please-help-me-and-let-us-nurture-our-talents-in-this-beautiful

Really sorry for your loss

(((((((((((((((Hugs)))))))))))))))

Damn stitch. I just saw this, such a shame. You are an angel for helping as much as you could.

I am so so sorry for your loss.
I did not know this wonderful woman and I wish I had!
I send you my love and my hugs!

<3 <3

I think you're right not to judge her.ive known where it sounds like she was. It's like no hell imaginable but... it's also not 'truth' and that makes it sad. Im thru the other side now and learnt much in the process and, hopefully, now have much to give. Mental health is so misunderstood. Love to you for your loss xxx

I'm so, so sorry for your loss. Take care in this moment of sorrow <3
I know this situation, and the pain it causes everyone involved. Thanks for sharing the beauty in her personality and your wonderful memories, even if it feels hard.

my condolences for the loss of your friend. I can't imagine how hard this is for you -- her going the way she did.