Why are We So Angry as a Society?

Where is the love? The Black-Eyed Peas sang it. And lately, it's something I ponder every day.

Is National Anger Something New?

Is it a new thing? I think so. When I was a kid in the 80's, I don't remember there being the kind of vitriol in the world we hear about, and sometimes experience, every day. If we ever heard of any violence in our community, it was rare. People debating each other on the news did so civilly. There were no shows made just for people to go argue. My parents never even raised their voices; they believed kids shouldn't be exposed to that kind of thing, so if they argued, they did it in their bedroom, with the door shut, while whispering. I remember things being pretty happy in the world in general....at least in the world I saw around me.

When Did it Start?

Honestly, I think it started in earnest after 9/11, though there were indicators of it in the late 1990's. As an example, the first three years I was married, I went to Planned Parenthood to get my birth control and annual female exams, because we didn't have health insurance. It was the only place I could afford to go. I'd heard about people protesting at Planned Parenthood clinics across the country, and the occasional doctor who worked at one being shot, so I always looked carefully around me when leaving my car and getting back into it when I went there, just in case there was some disgruntled mischief-maker lurking. 

The Columbine shootings happened then, too....something that would have been unthinkable just a decade prior. I was teaching high school on the 1st anniversary of the shootings, and there were rumors of copycat events happening that day. I was really happy my classroom was in a portable building outside, and right next to the parking lot where my car waited. I told my students, who were all seniors and only a few years younger than me, that if we heard chaos coming from inside the building, we all needed to make a break for the parking lot and the street beside it, and get as far away as we could. They all agreed it was the best idea, because if we waited, the police would come and wouldn't let anyone leave.

But, it was only after 9/11 that I really remember a large-scale national anger taking hold here. After that, everyone you talked to seemed angry about something, and if you didn't know anyone personally who was angry, all you had to do was get online and you'd find plenty of them.

Are Death Threats the New "Letter to the Editor" Now?

Oh my gosh, if I had a dollar for every time I've heard of someone getting a death threat from someone else who disagreed with something they said or did, I'd be pretty filthy rich right now. Surely this can't be the new way people communicate their grievances. Am I the only one who thinks it's crazy? It can't just be me.

Put a Clinton bumper sticker on your car? Get a death threat or three. Make a political or social joke on national TV? Expect death threats in your email and social media. I've heard of women running for office getting death threats, a theater in Texas that does Shakespeare getting death threats for a play they're not even doing, and for all kinds of other stupid reasons. If intimidation in this way is the only method someone can think of to get their point across, or express their own opinion, we have failed in teaching proper communication to our students decades ago. 

It's gotten out of hand. While Kathy Griffin's photo shoot with the severed Trump head was undoubtedly in poor taste, it didn't violate any laws, was obviously parody (which is actually protected speech), and was perfectly in line with what she normally does as a comic. Yet, she received so many death threats, including those from people who discovered her real address, she became concerned about going home. 

There may be plenty of people who disagreed with what she did, but bullying and harassing her, and sending really creepy death threats that referenced her address, well, that was just evil. The people who did those things took the tasteless but harmless thing she did and turned their anger over it into something sick, twisted, and evil. This type of behavior is not cool.

If You Can't Say Anything Nice, Don't Say Anything at All

Was anyone else raised with this saying? My great-grandmother used to say it, and it was passed down to me. Most of my friends were also raised being told this. It's good advice. You don't have to get behind the anonymity of a computer and spout hatred in the most horrible words possible at people who do not share your views. You can let it go. Being a bully doesn't accomplish anything constructive, and makes the world a worse place for all of us. 

If it's something you feel extremely strongly about, there are other ways to go about expressing it than simply spewing hate and anger. Some things you can do include:

• Ask the other person why they have the position they do on an issue, and engage in constructive criticism to try and find common ground. 
• Go to a town hall meeting to state your desires and have your elected officials take it into consideration.
• Write a well-worded, civil letter to the editor of your local news publication. 
• Run for office yourself and try to change things from the inside. 

The point is, you can make a real difference in a positive way, without simply bullying others with anger, and improve the world for everyone. Just put some thought into what you do and re-consider your angry words before you say them.

Have You Ever Noticed it's the People Who Advocate Peace and Love Who Get the Most Hate?

This one has always perplexed me, and it's not a recent problem. You can look throughout history and see examples of people who advocate peace and love being brutally tortured and killed by people who apparently can't stand the idea of that kind of world. Jesus, Ghandi, MLK, JFK....those are just a handful of thousands of years' worth of examples. Why does the idea of peace and love inspire anger and hate in so many other people?

Some say it's because those people challenge their values, but what good is a value if it isn't based on love? I heard an interview with a preacher not long ago where he advocated his congregation to let hate wash over them, and base their actions on their hatred of those who believe differently than them. Um....I don't think this is what Jesus had in mind when he said, "Love they neighbor as thyself."

These days, especially, you hear a lot about people wanting to go back to "traditional American values." They hate those who want to move forward and maybe become a more enlightened society, because it challenges their view of the world. There are more constructive ways to deal with those opinions, such as only associating with those who believe as you do, and make your own community based on that, rather than mingle with those who would prefer things to be different.

And, I'm not sure there was ever such a thing as "traditional American values," anyway. When people talk of this, they seem to be referencing some ideal only seen on TV sitcoms in the 1950's. American values change with the times. What the common values were when the first English settlers came here is different than the values during the Revolution. Revolutionary values were different by the Civil War, and values changed again before the stock market crash of 1929. They also changed after. 

Values are always evolving. We can't stay stuck in the past forever. If you want to, fine, but don't hurt others who don't agree. And, people DO hurt others who don't agree. If you don't think it happens, you haven't been reading or watching the news. It's common....too common. And, it needs to stop.

We Were Born to Love One Another

This is a line from a song called "For Pete's Sake," by The Monkees. I believe in these words. We are all one people, one planet. I believe the universe is built on love (that's MY belief, you may believe differently), and love is our natural state of being. Imagine what a world it would be if EVERYONE, regardless of gender, race, religion, nationality, or personal beliefs treated each other with love. It only takes one person to start a movement, and if we move toward love, we can't lose. 

Before you call someone a horrible name, make a death threat, bully someone online, harass a public figure, go all road rage-y, or pick up a weapon when your neighbor is playing music too loudly, think about a more constructive way to handle it. No one is saying don't be angry. We all get angry sometimes. And, sometimes anger at a situation is what prompts real change for the better. 

There are just better ways to act on anger, and that is what society today seems to have forgotten. Before you act out in anger, stop and think. That old "count to ten" rule for when you're mad is excellent, because it keeps you from doing something you may later regret. Be the change you want to see in the world, but channel that anger into a positive action. 

Post on Steemit, too. I had to add that, because this is an incredibly friendly community, and I've seen very little anger here. It's far more positive than anything else. This is probably the one place online you can post your feelings and opinions and not get ripped to shreds by the rage-filled crowds who can't stand the idea there are people in the world who don't believe the same things they do. You're safe here, and this is a good example of how to move forward as a positive, loving society.

A world based on love can start with one person influencing another to choose a better path. Be that person. Let's stop the hate and start the love. We'll all be better for it.

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