What Makes You Happy?
This is one of the most important questions we can ask ourselves and, more importantly, find the answers to.
Often in life I encounter people who always seem to be unhappy with their lot and yet when I hear and consider their circumstances I see opportunity and potential for lots of happiness to be present in their lives. It all comes down to perspective and one thing that definitely helps to put things in perspective is past hardship. I've been through a lot of hardship in my life...I've been driven to places in my mind that I wish on no-one. Yet because of this I have developed a perspective that allows me to tolerate things that previously I could not. Just going to the pub for a drink or two (literally) feels like a huge reward and fills me with a sense of liberation. In the past, however, this was a regular occurrence that I took for granted.
Another thing that helps put things in perspective is witnessing the hardship of others and thereby contrasting the fortunes of oneself against another first hand. I first went to sub Saharan Africa in 2010. My wife, Kelly and I decided to do good with our holiday and chose to visit The Gambia in west Africa and take medical supplies to a hospital and supplies to a school. This was a decision that would change our lives more than we had bargained for.
After a few days in The Gambia speaking to the locals it became clear that the most impoverished part of the country was the furthest inland so we made plans to get there with our supplies as soon as possible. We befriended a wonderful young local man named Saikou who agreed to help get us there as long as we would 'do him the privilege' of meeting his family in Basse Santa-Su which is in exactly the right part of the country for our delivery of aid and equipment. So, off we went and after a car ride in a car with a gaping hole in the floor, a ferry ride so overcrowded that we ended up standing squashed next to a man with a huge basket of stinking fish for the whole ride; and a long journey in a seven seater minibus with twelve people and two baskets of live chickens, we finally arrived in Bansang (our base for the next two nights). Bansang is a small town sitting on the banks of the River Gambia about twenty five miles from Basse Santa Su. The following morning, after a much needed meal and overnight stay we boarded another bus headed for Basse. First up was the visit to Saikou's family home where we met his parents and younger sister. With us we had a suitcase full of spectacles for the local red cross; and after Saikou explained that both of his parents had poor vision and hadn't been able to see properly for years, we opened up the case and invited them to try on a few pairs. Their faces lit up with excitement and they hurriedly tried on pair after pair until they both found a pair that worked for them. Their tears of joy were matched by those of Saikou and it was the happiest I'd ever seen anyone. I must also have had a face like a Cheshire cat as I was experiencing an important life lesson. The happiness I felt for these two people I had never met before and as far as I knew then, would probably never meet again, was extraordinary. And I know now that it was because it was the greatest form of joy, the joy of giving and helping.
Saikou's parent's house was not really a house, it was a simple breeze block construction comprising two small rooms, one of which had a small tap on the wall a few inches from the floor. It was humbling. We left after being given a gift of rare material, precious and sought after by the local people as it came from a special area in Guinea famous for it's textiles (Kelly would later have this material made into a traditional dress that turned the eye of all of the locals when she wore it but that's a story for another day). We jumped on another bus for the short ride to the local hospital to take a suitcase full of all kinds of medical aid kindly donated to us by members of the local community here in Wigan. We weren't really prepared for what met us at the hospital. By the entrance patients were lying on the ground in the dust as there was no room inside. Just inside the entrance a small boy was lying motionless; alone on a cold concrete floor next to a dustbin. Inside the ward there were beds with no sheets and dirty matresses some occupied by more than one patient. It was galling, and of course it must have been more than galling for those using the service and as it turned out for those working at the hospital as well. We were met by a lovely young doctor (the only one at the hospital) who gave us a few minutes of his time (which we felt enormously guilty to take) as we gave him the supplies we had brought. Not wanting to take up another second of the doctor's time we moved on to visit the local primary school.
Once again, we were not prepared for what met us when we arrived at the school. It was like one of those Indiana Jones movies. We were rushed at by over a hundred wildly excited youngsters wearing smiles the like of which belong in a gallery. They were fascinated by us, touching our skin and our hair, laughing and giggling and starting to show interest in our final suitcase when a large voice cried out in the background and the children scampered off back to their classrooms immediately. Standing there was a large lady in traditional dress, a teacher at the school. She looked serious and commanded respect. She politely introduced herself and took us to meet the headmaster, a lovely, warm man who had obvious love for all of the children in his care. He took us on a tour of the school which was only a few small buildings. There were two, dark classrooms. Each one about four square metres and each one containing about fifty to sixty children, squeezed around about fifteen tiny wooden tables. They all wore clean, white uniforms (how, in the hot, dusty conditions I don't know). I saw no books, pens or pencils, only a black chalkboard on the wall. This was sad, but as we had enough exercise books, pens, pencils, crayons, felt pens etc for everyone at least I knew that we had come to the right place.
And so it is I come to the end of this story and ponder on happiness. It seems to me that giving is much more rewarding than receiving so be kind, be generous, be giving; especially to those in need, for their appreciation and joy will manifest tenfold in yourself.
Have you had a similar experience in your life? What makes you happy?
Love everyone
Ian & Kelly (AKA STEEMONKEY)
Previous posts: https://steemit.com/life/@steemonkey/the-importance-of-grounding
https://steemit.com/introduceyourself/@steemonkey/hello-friends-please-allow-me-to-introduce-myself
That's a really touching story. Thanks for sharing it. I to have witnessed places similar having connections in the Philippines.
Most of those kids will have never seen a white person. You would have been perceived as godly in their eyes.
Their reaction was certainly something I'll never forget. Later that day whilst taking a stroll around Bansang, we happened across a boy about 14 with a little boy about 4. The 4yr old stared at us in disbelief for a few seconds before bursting out in tears. It must have seemed like the aliens had landed to him. Interesting to hear you've been out to the Philippines. We've never been out to Asia yet. Hope to before too long.
My wife is a Filipina, I have been there 3-4 times.
Aah I see. I wouldn't mind going there at some point. I practice kali (filipino martial art) for self defence and fitness. It would be great to spend some time over there picking up some tips.