When Dysfunction Runs The Show

" Pain travels through family lines until someone is ready to heal it in themselves. By going through the agony of healing, you no longer pass the poison chalice onto the generations that follow. It is incredibly important and sacred work. "

Not all of us have had the chance – or perhaps the luxury - of starting off life on a somewhat healthy turf. And when the game doesn’t start well, it’s in your best interest to switch gear and head onto a better direction, a healthier one. But that’s the thing : when you’re far ahead on the spectrum of fuckedupness, do you really have your best interest at heart to begin with?

When you’ve been dancing with self-made destruction for long enough, do you even think it is worth the scary try to leap into new territory, even if it’s one marked with safety? We don’t want safety after all ; we much prefer the dangerous comfort of familiarity.

When dysfunction runs the show, your subconscious is steering the ship at full speed. And as you go through life, he makes sure to bring to the surface your most buried and repressed wounds, whether you like to see them around or not.

" Don’t leave your pain unattended" should come with the same fear inducing feeling that parents get when they think of their young children being left alone and unlooked for.
Because suppressing your pain and feelings will inevitably result in damageable consequences in the long term. And unless you break off the cycle now, you risk putting at risk perhaps your own children one day – of the same dysfunctional dynamic.

I believe it is safe to say that we’re all somewhere on the scale of dysfunction. There is no such thing as a human being that has never engaged in some form of self-sabotage, at least to a degree. We all have been shattered, at least once, by the cruelties of human existence.

When I decided to take on the healing journey myself, I spent many hours, days, months, reviewing the timeline of my own life and the ways by which I’ve been plagued by pain and dysfunction, and the instances where I, myself, have engaged in it. Lots of pain, unprocessed emotions and old inner demons came back to the table.

From starving them for too long, they weren’t going to let me get away with it this time. I had to sit comfortably with these uncomfortable guests that were my own inner demons. And it was fucking hard, to say the least. But had I not gone through this crucial self-introspective process, I wouldn’t hold the same clarity and self-awareness I have today over my own life and ways of being.

Coping mechanisms aren’t a safe escape.
Confronting your pain head-on is the answer.
Choosing between short-term relief or long-term relief is an easy choice to make.
Make no mistake, the choice is easy to make, but I know firsthand that it’s the process following it that is hard.
But beating the odds is so worth it. Don’t give dysfunction the power to bleed into the all too important relationship you cultivate with yourself, and the ones you have with others.

You are worth the healing.
You are worth becoming your whole and true authentic self.
Your feelings are valid and they matter.
No matter what anyone has ever told you.
And no matter what you mind tries to trick you into believing on your worst days.

It’s now your time to shine and steal the spotlight from mister Dysfunction.
(The dance of healing is a way better one!)