The Dad Syndrome

Dad Syndrome (phenomena):
The unquestioning impetus to maintain status quo, and the resulting guilt from trying to deviate from it.

The world is going to hell. Society is in turmoil. There are a lot of hate crimes being reported on the news. There is a lot of intolerance around you. Those breaking the law go scot-free. Your neighbour who doesn't pay any taxes bought a new car, while you went to bed hungry because you had to pay more tax this month. Your boss gave you more work and the promotion to someone else. Your friends call on you only when they need a favour, but disappear the minute you need their help. Your girlfriend is using you for your money while she's cheating on you with your best friend.

Sound familiar to you?
And yet we choose to suffer in silence rather than try to speak out or change it. And even if we do speak out, we feel an amalgamation of guilt and self doubt that you would rather choose to continue to be miserable than go through that feeling again.

Unfortunately, the reason for this is deep rooted into our societal structure and it will take more than just an overnight self help book, to cure it.

Lets retrace the steps as to how this phenomena becomes deep rooted into our subconscious:

1. The first Seed - The (Real) Dad

When we are born, we are allotted a set of parents, a dad and a mom. As you reach your formative years, you try to learn by trial and error. Some of these things are things you should do (GOOD) and some of these things you should not (BAD). Now you are too young to know good from bad. So how do you learn. By getting reprimanded or scolded, or in some parts of the world, getting hit by your father. Now hitting is bad, but when you go crying to your mother, she says “Your father loves you and is hitting you for your own good.” And thus the germination of the thought that people will hurt for your own good.

Note that the word Dad is in this case gender neutral, and could just as easily be used to describe a reprimanding mom.

2. Teachers at School

At school, you are again allotted a set of teachers (you do not choose) who are entrusted with the task of imparting you knowledge and values. Often times these teachers will also reprimand, scold or hit you, something they have no right to. But your parents again justify this behaviour by saying that the teachers hit you for your own good.

3. Siblings/Friends

You will often be wronged by your siblings and friends as you grow. Since you don’t know better (read as, you haven’t been moulded or corrupted by society yet), you will often choose to speak up against this injustice and they may fight with you. At this point, your parents, who have already been moulded by society into thinking that fighting is not healthy, may try to patch things up between you and your sibling/friend by saying, they fight with you because they love you and for your own good.

And thus a pattern develops that subconsciously tells you every time you are wronged, that the problem is with you and that people are wronging you for your own good.

And you look for similar patriarchal, controlling, role models in your life and continue to suffer their injustice, including, to quote a few:

• The boss who tells you that you are useless and will amount to nothing
• Boy/Girl who is bad for you and your self-esteem who disrespects you in front of others
• Friends who treat you like you are a piece of shit
• Elected representatives who misuse their power, and are unable to provide you with even the basic human needs.
  and all because you have been taught your whole life that they do this for your own good.

So wake up and shake off The Dad Syndrome. Take back your life. And for your sake speak up….Because it’s for your own good.

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The Dad Syndrome is an original view developed by me and bear no resemblance to/is not a personal attach on any person or thing. The idea came to me just now, when I was deep in thought, and wanted to share it with you people. Do let me know your thoughts on the same in the comments below.