Great post, very honest! I'm not sure whether you've tried this but you can buy medical grade UV lamps, different to the ones they use for SAD and other disorders, more targeted, I think it's UVB or something similar. Either way it's a really powerful light, so most people only use them for around 10-30 seconds per go but they are known to be incredible for skin conditions!
I’d rather fly to somewhere warm to heal myself :P