Searching for the Work-Life Balance
Ever get so far behind you fear catch-up is impossible? I'm there right now. To understand why, let's review a few fun facts about me. Below is the list of jobs I work:
[Image Credit[(https://unsplash.com/photos/OQ2OjujcP9o)
Teaching Writing through Trauma Parts 1&2 for the Center for Creative Writing
Editor-in-Chief for The Relationship Blogger
Daisy Troop leader for my 5yo daughter and 9 of her closest friends
Associate Instructor of Nonfiction at the Ivy Tech Center for Lifelong Learning
Freelance writer and coach (Shawna Ayoub Ainslie, Survive Your Story)
Founder and Facilitator of Not-for-Profit LinkYourLife, a collective for artists and survivors
Homeschooler to a 12 year old
Mother and personal driver of 3
Food planner and frequent chef
Wife
Human
I've been having a wee bit of trouble lately striking that ever-touted "work-life balance." I'm trying. I could use another me. That would be great. Or fewer goals. That would also be great. Or a better health program in the U.S. because wow does my family cost a lot to maintain at a base level of wellness.
What is my goal with all of this, you wonder? I want to make space for joy and health for my children. I want to help people release and recover through art. I want to buy the property adjacent to mine so no one builds a house there and wrecks the value and privacy of my property. I want to switch roles with my husband because parenting is not my jam. I want to travel like I always dreamed I would but had kids instead.
I'm not sad or anything when I share this. I am tired. I've been working very hard. It is paying off. But I'm beginning to feel like my kids are being raised by Doctor Who and various exhibitionist parenting channels on YouTube. My dog needs a good brushing. My house needs a good cleaning. My head needs a good clearing. My husband and I need a just us vacation, and I need some serious "me" time.
Because, and here's that work-life thing, do you want to know what I do on my nights off? I play catch-up on emails. Honestly, it's what I should be doing right now, but here I am on Steemit hoping something I say will light a fire in the heart of a whale and get me a massive upvote and forever friendship that will support me in achieving my dreams.
In the meantime, let me add that I also write 3-5 posts a day on Steemit, here and on @nat5an which is my husband's otherwise unused blog. I didn't list writing here as a job, but I do consider it one, especially since bringing in and training a number of writers and artists is part of what I do here. I also try to produce regular, quality content. I feel like I'm successful as I've been noticing more flags lately, especially on posts tagged for feminism. I have no desire to be a Mary Sue. What I want is to make space for compassion where it didn't fit before.
So I'll keep doing all the things--except maybe Daisies once I get March scheduled. I have a great team of co-leaders, and I would love to help them create a system that works for them going forward so I can be a helping hand rather than a leader. That may sound like a move away from my children, but the truth is it takes me two full days to recover (introvert here) and function after each meeting. That's two days I can't engage my kids because of one hour spent engaging kids.
What are your commitments and goals?
Recent Posts
- Hiding Verses: Wish List (dsound)
- Not Sharing is Caring (poetry)
- My Body, My Choice: Reclaiming My Body with Art (psychology)
- Hiding Verses: Breathe (dsound)
- Please share your links and yourself on this post! (steemit)
- Live Your Best Life By Contributing Joy to Others (life)
- Burial (poetry)
- Hiding Verses: How to Know if I Consent (dsound)
- Hiding Verses: Not All Men (dsound)
- ICYMI My Autistic Brain: Tips for Dealing with Perseveration (Repetitive Thoughts and Actions) (psychology)
- Hiding Verses: Affairs of the Mind (dsound)
- Hiding Verses: A History of Occupancy (dsound)
- ANNOUNCEMENT: 5SBD for Best Comment Winner (Week of Jan 22-28) (contest)
Don't forget, best comment on this account or @nat5an each week gets 5SBD reward.
Wow. At first I thought, all those job for just one person! But then after reading about why you do it and the joy it gives you, well...
Lol. You might not light a fire in the heart of a whale, but you definitely have lighted one in the heart of this minnow!
LOL. I think we all have that dream, right? I genuinely love what I do. I couldn't be more grateful I am able to do it. And, yep, most of it I do for free, thus that whale wishing.
I second that.
:)
When two leg, wherever you are going, go there.
When four legs, you will be asked: where do you go?
When six legs, You will be requested: take me with you mom .
This is the logic... But this is the life. If I want everything, I can't. so What I should Do?? Yes, I have to choose some from bunch of choices. If I walk forward to one thing, I have to leave something. I don't need much money for happiness. For more money, I have to more busy.
If I work hard as much as I can, I never gain money like Steve Jobs. Why I am working so much for little life. I have to gain everything in Heaven but something in earth.
I learned many thing from the last talk of Steve jobs.
Sorry for this comment. This comment is for myself. by reading you post, I heard a whispering inside me @shawnamawna. Thanks a lot. Your post was so awesome.
Don't Blame me for my comment or bad English. I am not so good in English.
I wish your happiness with your family. Best of luck.
This is a fantastic comment. It's the heart of the search for where meaning lies in our lives. Thank you.
You are welcome. Also thanks for reply...
<3
5 posts a day is a lot. How do you even promote them?
Hmm. I am in several discords and I share them on my various FB pages and groups. I seem to have managed a consistent number of readers and that is growing based on the stats I'm seeing.
Actually, Discord participation is something I'm working to balance. Many groups want daily interaction, so I'm figuring out which (like Steemit Bloggers) have the best tribe for me. People I like to engage with and who want to engage with me. I left three recently, and I will be hosting my own for my non-profit. I'm putting it together now. I am a mod in 2 of my three favorite discords as well. It's time consuming, but emotionally rewarding.
Alright. Awesome. Best of luck.
I am hearing all of this! I got to the point where I had to take a break from all social media (twitter, instagram, most of fb) during January and just figure out what i believe in. I believe in myself, but I don't have all the answers so how do i structure my interactions with what i can't control. We'll talk about this sometime xoxo
From reading this post and your comments, I can see right away why it's tough to achieve a sense of balance and calm. You're so busy trying to help other people feel better that you end up giving yourself the short stick. It's wonderful, and you are absolutely the bomb, but I don't know how you can keep that pace, especially with young kids to care for.
That's not to suggest that you should set anything aside, or reprioritize. Only you know what's right for you, and what you really need on your plate to feel like a whole person, and fulfilled.
I say it because sometimes it's a little bit helpful when we're looking all around for answers to look in the mirror. :-)
I would just encourage you to really evaluate what is enriching for you, and what feels like it takes energy away from what you really want for your life. And sorry, the kids are not a valid choice for the second list! I'm kidding, but not kidding. They are precious and small and need you. Being involved with your daughter's Girl Scout troop is something you cannot replace with more time on Discord or a few more followers. (I did the same with my daughters. What a great experience.)
But is there anything that feels like it's more work than it's worth? Areas where you give and give and don't get the emotional or financial payoff to make them worthwhile?
I've always done more than most people think is humanly possible, and I am honestly floored by all you do. There's nothing wrong with doing way more and giving way more than the average person, especially if it feels right to you. But if you constantly go at a break-neck speed, it can be easy to forget that you need to recharge.
People used to give me books like "Meditations for Women Who Do Too Much," etc., and I found it very insulting. One person's view of "too much" vs. "enough" is very personal to them. So that's why I'm trying to be particularly careful to not make such a brazen statement. I'm just suggesting that you ask yourself if you really need to do all the things. And if you did one less thing, would it allow you to sit and drink a cup of tea or a glass of wine at the end of the day and say, "Damn, I got a lot done today! I deserve this moment of peace!"---? Because you do deserve it.
you are an inspiration to me. Im here to help anyway I can. In the meantime, Im here to cheer you on!