Getting **it Done: What's Your Motivation?

I reeeaaally don't want to finalize my syllabus. I'm a teach-by-the-seat-of-my-pants sort of girl. However, I recognize the need for structure and lesson plans, if for no other reason than they keep me on track.

Here's what I'm thinking about: one week from last Tuesday, I start teaching through a new venue. I have the outline of my lesson plan. I even have most of my prompts (although I customize these to the class). What I don't have is readings that are set in stone. The kind I can hand out to students and say, "Read this and write that."

I know how to do this stuff. It's not that hard. I just have a strong dislike of specifics. They feel like chains. You know, until I implement them and am abundantly grateful for the net to fall back on because I'm easily distracted and my life is busy and who wants to be planning a course while they're running it? It's not even like this is something I haven't taught before. Sheesh.

Oh, phew! I may have talked myself into plugging in those memoir reading assignments.

What was that? You heard me laughing at myself? I hope you laughed with me. I could really use some laughter right now. No small part of my motivational deficit is the events of this week (including the loss of my grandmother). I'm feeling okay, but, hey! Motivation! Where are you?

In all seriousness, why is this so hard? Rules and structure are my friend. They make the world go round. I am extremely good at following rules. I always have been. Maybe it's the autism, maybe it's just my personality, but when I can find a pattern and understand how something works (and I am constantly on the hunt), I feel like a million bucks.

On the other hand, this syllabus would have been done and done and done were I to be paid a million bucks.

Perhaps it's a motivation issue. Summer was hard. I genuinely have not had the mental space to complete even simple tasks. Motivation is rightly lacking.

Alright. Here's what I'm going to do. Now that I've written through this ennui (and thank you to anyone who has read this far), I am going to slap the readings I've got lined up in my head into the already drafted syllabus and maybe eat a spoon of peanut butter.

You remember I was talking about motivation, right? Motivation = peanut butter. Mmm.

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