Why do Women like Men in Uniform?
—Women everywhere... for some reason.
It is a truth universally acknowledged that a woman will swoon at the sight of a man in uniform. Okay, few things are 100% universal, but this comes as close as anything.
Why Women Like the Uniform
I asked my wife. She said, "I don't know, it just looks good!" This may be true for her, and it could be true for other women as well, but research shows that for many the reasons go deeper than this:
It's what the uniform represents.
Women see the garb of a soldier or police officer as a sign of integrity, valor, courage, respect and chivalry. According to Psychologist Dr. Jeanette Raymond, [1]
The 'uniform' may signify that the man is able to manage life's troubles. We all want those to whom we are attached to be able to stay solid when we are a mess so that we can count on them. It spells safety and security.
This sentiment is echoed in many other studies and conversations with women. The uniform conveys strength and heroism. [2] These are the traits of a man who can be relied on for security and protection. As a matter of fact, one study revealed that women became more attracted to war vets when presented with profiles outlining their brave actions. [3]
Why These Reasons Make No Sense
The root of this attraction makes sense in theory. Who wouldn't want a partner who is the epitomy of virtue? —A man who is willing to sacrifice himself for those he loves. He must be a keeper.
Now before I get into any of the obvious moral confusion that would cause a woman to believe that soldiers and cops are virtuous, let's look at some statistics.
Abuse at the hands of men in uniform:
Women who are married to policemen are not safer or more protected than other women. In fact, it's quite the opposite. While 1 in 4 women in the US is a victim of domestic abuse, 50% of women married to cops have been abused. Marrying a police officer doubles your chances of getting abused. Let that sink in for a minute. [4]
It's difficult to find numbers on domestic abuse at the hands of military officers (even the Pentagon doesn't have exact statistics) but reports of abuse from people affiliated with military personnel more than tripled from 2006 to 2011. [5]
None of this should be surprising. Sociopaths are always attracted to positions of power. Maybe some people get into these lines of "duty" because they want to help the world, but many are attracted to the authority, the badge and the gun. [4]
These are men who have been taught to force compliance by any means necessary. Diane Wetendorf, author and life-long advocate for victims of police domestic abuse said, [4]
They start out with command presence and voice to gain and maintain control, and if that doesn’t work, they go up the scale with an increasing amount of force until they get compliance. Unfortunately, these guys use the same technique with their wives and girlfriends. And some of them go from 0 to 60 right away.
It's possible that the numbers are even higher than what these statistics suggest. Many women are afraid or even unable to report an indent. Think about it from her perspective:
- "Should I call the police? I can't. He is the police. His friends won't arrest him."
- "If I try to take him to court it will be my word against that of an officer. Who will they be more likely to believe?"
- "If I do take him to court and win, he will lose his job and I'll lose my financial security."
And the fear of every abuse victim:
- "If I try to get help, he'll retaliate." [4]
Obviously the fantasy of the uniform is not the reality. But what about the inherent worth of dawning a uniform to protect one's fellow man or fight for king and country?
Being a mercenary of the state is in no way a sign of valor, integrity or heroism.
I make no secret of my anarchism/voluntaryism. So it should come as no surprise that I believe that working as violent enforcers for corrupt bureaucrats in Washington (or Ottawa in my case) is wrong.
It is not moral to uphold the law. Even the most obedient citizen will admit that there are bad laws. The entire job of a police officer is to use violence to enforce these laws. It doesn't matter whether they're good or bad.
It is not moral act as a pawn of the state to murder pawns of another state. The insanity of state warfare demands that men and women put their lives on the line to kill other men and women who are no worse than they are—they've simply bought into the same lie that they have to fight to protect their country.
This is why there is no such thing as a good cop or a good soldier. Good people can be duped into believing that fighting for the state is somehow the right thing to do, but the job itself is never good.
Bravery in and of itself is not a virtue. It takes a lot of courage to risk one's life by walking out onto a battlefield. However, I don't think there are many among us who will commend Nazi soldiers for their courage. Wars and the soldiers who fight them always rain death and destruction on "enemies" who are no more than political pawns of an opposing state. The terror they bring always extends farther than the intended target. But that's okay right? A certain amount of collateral damage is always acceptable. *gag*
These may be the actions of brave men, but they aren't the actions of heroes.
There it is ladies.
Don't be attracted to the uniform.
Don't worship and fawn over a symbol of violence and evil.
~Seth
SOURCES:
[1] Yourtango - Why are Women Attracted to Men in Uniform?
[2] Psychcentral - Men in Uniform and Women's Pyches
[3] Telegraph - There's a Reason Women Love a Man in Uniform
[4] The Free Thought Project - Cops Beat Their Wives & Girlfriends At Double The National Rate, Still Receive Promotions
[5] SFGate - High Risk of Military Domestic Violence on the Homefront
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i know several who are repulsed by it..actually :/
They must be good people.
Me. I hate uniforms. They look scratchy, stiff, and unoriginal.
The real reason a woman swoons for man in uniform is the same reason the men seek it. It's power.
This man has power and it comes from the uniform, it's because of the uniform that he has this power.
Most people don't understand that little tidbit about power. Another's power over you is a lie you allow yourself to believe. You don't feel like you have power, so you want to believe that someone else does.
But here is truth.
If they bleed the same color as you do, then they are no more special than you are.
Uniforms allow people to execersize power over other people and it's not just the state actors either. Consider that a man in a lab coat with a stethoscope can wield just as much power over life and death as a man with a badge and a gun.
People feel powerless, they crave what they believe they do not have. So they need a uniform to display it.
Sometime you'll meet a person will real power. Someone who knows exactly who he is, exactly where he is from, exactly what his place is in relation to you and exactly what your place is in relation to him.
When you meet him, you'll know what power is.
He won't be wearing a uniform, because he knows he doesn't need to. You'll know it too. Because the first time you meet real power, he's always standing in the mirror.
I'm not attracted to women who are attracted to men in uniform.
That'll teach them!
LMFAO
Thanks for the professional writing! I love seeing sources.
Also, I learned something 🙂
There's something about the shape of the garment. For example I find Cersei's new style kind of hot.
I won't condemn you ;)
There's nothing wrong with finding these outfits physically attractive.
Omg why does posting images here have to be a pain?
Sometimes I can't seem to find what the issue is. I'll delete the link in the html editor and repaste it and it will be fine. It's weird. I rarely use markdown so I can't tell you what the issue might be this time!
Good post, Seth. I think my wife gets nervous around uniforms now, but am not sure. She certainly has changed in her perspective on LEO as I've worked at deprogramming her over the last few years.
Still, there is something regal looking about a soldier in his dress uniform. I don't admire this so much as I think it's just unmistakeable. I would assume that some of our perception is carryover of the ideal knight that holds virtue and honor above all and lives sacrificially for the good of those he's sworn to protect. It's a nice ideal, and perhaps some embrace it, but it's far from normative.
I agree. Uniforms are simply good looking. There's no way around it. And assuming my wife was being perfectly honest with herself, that's all that some women care about. But the narrative of "the ideal knight" has a strong hold on our culture and on the hearts of many women.
It's definitely a good ideal, but you would be hard-pressed to find that ideal personified in anyone "serving" the state.
Agreed. It's antithetical.
For me? Just a bucket list thing.
Associations with violence is sexy on a primitive level. My fave uniform is Tarzan's
This comment just reminded my of a quote from one of my sources that I meant to include, but ultimately forgot...
'When the tables were turned, heroism was not found to be a sexually attractive trait in women. Joost Leunissen, one of the study’s authors, remarked: “This provides evidence for the hypothesis that gender differences in inter-group conflict can have an evolutionary origin, as only males seem to benefit from displaying heroism.” Translation: despite having moved on from our cave phase, men still score points by hitting each other with rocks, while women are expected to swoon."
True. I'd go with a guy who punched other men in the face for a living. Martial artist trumps uniform.
Women are discouraged from physically risky acts of bravery as we are the gender with (more) intrinsic value. Men (still are but) were much more disposable not too long ago.
Bookmarked for late-night reading. I like your interesting post.
I was a man in uniform a couple of times. In uniform I felt myself more self-confident. This felleng atrracts wamen, I think)