I am one of thousands of people affected by @quinneaker's visionary community the @gardenofeden. As we clean and organize in preparation for a big move towards Eden 2.0, it's time to let go of my own incredible history here:
Part 10 👇🏽
It is New Year's Day, just hours into 2016.
I am meditating alone in my space, replaying the past year - my first full year here at the @gardenofeden.
It was...it was quite a time, to say the least.
Fighting with my ex consumed fucktons of energy, for me and the entire community. I feel...tired. Guilty and sorry. We are done with that now; I want to move on.
There is so much MORE than our narrow drama that happened here over the past year.
I was actually a pretty decent contributor to the community as a whole, despite my frequent hostilities. That's because I trained myself to be really great at focusing on "work" so I can ignore real feelings. There was a lot about that relationship I didn't want to face, and plenty of "work" to be done around the @gardenofeden - a perfect recipe for me!
I say "work", because at the GOE it's all play - we do only those things we want to do.
Things like building rocket stoves out of mud on which to cook über dank food outside in fresh air and sunshine.
@everlove builds a sustainable outdoor kitchen appliance out of dirt.
Assembling hugel mounds which remain prolific, abundant, rich garden beds for decades.
Growing and harvesting mulberries, blackberries, radishes, cucumbers, peaches, watermelons, figs, yellow tomatoes, okra, arugula, carrots, lemon thai & 6 other kinds of basil, rosemary, moringa, oregano, sweet potatoes, beets, sage, gourds, garlic, kale, green onions, spinach, Swiss chard, 7 kinds of mint, hackberries, and pecans.
Feeding 40,000 free meals to hungry people.
Keeping chickens and preserving food.
Constructing domiciles and facilities out of repurposed materials, just a fraction of the 200,000 pounds of valuable resources we save in a year.
Catering mouthgasms to the vendors at the Tucson Gem and Mineral Show, serving entrees du jour such as buffalo meatloaf stuffed with chicken, feta, & spinach sausage stuffed jalapeños, wrapped in bacon and topped with homemade ketchup made from our own fresh herbs & tomatoes, with a side of lavender mashed potatoes.
Taking our wares to national festivals and local farmers markets, and launching a new website to showcase them and this awesome project 24/7 to people all over the world.
Those are just a few of the things we did in my first year here, but most significant to me of all the accomplishments is the space @quinneaker held for growth, empowerment, and evolution of not just me, but everyone in this community.
All of those things added so much more value than the countless, selfish fights I engaged over the past year.
As it is New Year's Day 2016, I'm thinking about resolutions. I want less conflict, and more of those valuable things in my life. I am committed to choosing a better way than that last relationship; thankfully, a better way is already surrounding me here at the GOE. This will be a year of redirecting focus.
I feel myself still tied up inside, and I know I need to free up more energy so I have more to give to the people who have supported me so deeply.
For my 2016 New Year's resolution, I pledge to forgive my ex to set us both free.
TBH I don't really know what that means yet, because I still feel angry - but I am dedicated to learning.
And I have access to one of the greatest teachers I could imagine, a woman who has done a most radical thing in the name of love:
Her name is @everlove.
Do you want to know why I live at the @gardenofeden?
Join me in the next post, and I'll get to the really good stuff.