I'm not a dream reader, but it does seem like you're reading this thing wrong. You are in a dark time of your life. The friends around you is the moral support you have, even if you don't recognize it. The sudden light bursting forth is better times ahead. The orbs are opportunities coming your way. crushing one and feeling a foreboding dread is not a mistake you made, but a warning not to crush any opportunity that comes your way. I am an optimist, but I'm also a very analytical realist. Therefore, I tend to look at things from every perspective before making a conclusion. After reading your post I see your view and concerns. I am not religious but I do have an active relationship with Jesus. I prayed that he would give me the right words to share with you, then I immediately started typing. I do hope this is of some encouragement to you.