Happy First Year of Stay-at-Home-momhood!

A year ago, I made a decision of leaving my regular job to become a full time stay at home mom. Back then, my kid was just almost two years old. She's turning 3 next month. I must say, when I decided on resigning from my previous company, I wasn't sure if I could make it at least six months being confined inside the house. Of course there is no question about why I made made that decision. There was really no arguments about it. Whether my husband agrees or not, I was sure I'll still quit my job to be mom.

During my younger years, I was certain that never would I ever be able to stay indoors for too long. I know I said before that even if I have kids, I'm sure I will still be working in an office, with a steady income, doing office stuff. Because I know that's what I do best. I know a thing or two about household chores but I thought I'd just hire a help to do those stuff for me. I'm not the domestic wife type. Or at least I thought I wasn't.

When I had my daughter, all I know was that I wanted to be the best mom I could ever be for her. So I worked hard, made sure I get home on time, I even strived for a higher paying post. And I got it by the way. I thought it would help me become the best mom she'll ever need. I'll be able to prepare for her future. I was making sure that she will get all the help she'll need when she's schooling - especially college. I have already made plans that far out. But I did not take into account the NOW.

On her first two years on earth, my sister took care of her while I was in the office. We all didn't have problems, she's enjoying my sister's company, I am at peace while I'm at work. (Aside from the occasional video calls when I miss her, I was able to function really perfectly fine.) Then my sister had to leave because her kids also need her. Both are schooling already so she needed to focus her entire attention to them. I was left to the option of hiring a nanny. That was when things went south.

I work the night shifts, I used to work at a BPO company. Every single night, my baby would cry until she falls asleep. Once I get dressed for work, that's when her hell starts. Now I'm not sure if there's something the nanny does to her or does not do for her when I'm not around, but I'm pretty sure my baby's not comfortable around her. After maybe a month of that endless routine, I told my husband that I couldn't take it anymore. I'm not comfortable leaving my baby to a stranger. I sure appreciate our neighbor telling us that our kid cries until the wee hours in the morning. Now, that's just too much stress to give to a two year old kid. I may be a softie but I'm a mom. At the back of my head, my mom side is saying that I should be there beside her to soothe her. And so I chose to be a mom. Her mom.

The decision was easy. I was steadfast with my stand that I will not leave my daughter alone ever again. I did not wait for her to come into my life only to leave her crying while I go to work. That's simply not fair for her. The challenge though came from the people surrounding us.

My husband and I are both breadwinners on each other's side of the family. Which meant that we would have to cut the support we give to a certain percentage, if not entirely. I had to endure being called selfish. Which I decided not to argue and defend anymore. All I want is to be there for my kid. If that's the meaning of selfish to them, then so be it.

Anyways, a year after, my kid is so much better now. She is no longer traumatized by the spund of the dog barking, nor is she crying in the middle of the night. She is back to her usual happy jolly loved self. And what more is that she is now almost fully potty trained. (She still wets the bed sometimes, but well she's only almost three years old.) She can also make her own bed now. And oh, she knows how to turn on the computer. What can I say, a stress-free kid is a quick learning kid.

I could not believe I have lasted this long as a stay at home mom. And at the rate that we're going right now, I think I'm going to be a stay at home mom for a very long time. The first few months were crazy. I'm telling you 101% CRAZY! I became so sad and lonely, and frustrated, and tired, and haggard, and exhausted. But you know what they say, it's always not easy at the beginning. Soon, I was abld to catch up. And now, we're all moving forward.

Happy anniversary to my stay-at-home-momhood!