Quit That Job! Entry #4 - I'm Not Done Yet

1. Lay in bed.
2. Sit in a car.
3. Sit at a desk.
4. Sit in a car.
5. Sit in front of the TV.

Repeat steps 1-5. After 5 days, you can have 2 days to mildly switch up this routine.

Sadly, this is the life many people lead. It seems almost the standard ideal to attain to. And it's terrifying to think that so much of a life should be wasted in the name of a career. Sure, there are many people who lead fulfilling careers but most of us end up in jobs we haven't chosen or careers we regret. I try to ride a bike to and from work when the weather is fine, but it's still too much of a routine. I have known cyclists who have lost the love of biking due to years of riding the same route to and from work each day.

People go to school with dreams of careers that take them to new places, with promotions and increasing vacation time each year. And yet we often find that the scenery doesn't change, there is no longer any way to move up in the company and vacation time shrinks. Yet why does it become so hard to find a job when you have a job?

Someone will ask, "when will you be ready to settle down?" When a house settles, cracks can appear in a foundation. The floors become uneven. Floorboards start to creek. Sometimes we have high hopes and we settle for something less than ideal. We are all told that at some point we must settle down. Stop enjoying life and get serious.

Somehow this idea of being ready to settle down got in my head about 7 years ago, in my mid-to-late-30s. It was like a reverse midlife crisis. I had spent most of my young adult life quitting school, quitting jobs and generally doing irresponsible things to myself. I needed to get serious. I had already gone back to school for an associate degree. Now I would finish my bachelor degree. I was also working full time. I was getting raises every year and taking on new work responsibilities. I used to be scared of life responsibilities like having a family because I could barely support myself, let alone raise kids. But then, in my late 30s, I thought that I actually had a solid enough job to do all those things I had previously feared.

So I thought I'd look for a serious relationship and hope to have kids someday. I bought a house and adopted a dog. I had bought a 2-family home with rental income that would only increase over time. I could remodel the home and live a good life. I quickly discovered that I didn't actually like being at home. I would rather spend my time outdoors and traveling. That family life never came to be either. I wanted travel and adventure. I discovered bicycle touring. I finally had a job where I could afford to travel. It's just kind of hard with a job that gives me only 6 days of vacation this year. So I'm leaving this job.

Was I wrong to call my 30s a reverse midlife crisis? A midlife crisis usually happens when people start hitting about 45. I'm 43, about to be 44. Am I am going through a midlife crisis now? I don't think I would call this a midlife crisis either. I feel young. I forget my age sometimes as people assume I'm younger anyway. My crisis is more from my situation, regardless of age. At least I never got married and had kids. I don't have to shirk responsibilities to others. I only just started settling down before realizing I'm not done yet.

I can't imagine this being it, just waiting for that 1 or 2 weeks a year to have any sort of adventure. Well maybe with luck, the weekend will have nice weather. No, I want to be free to choose my own path each day. I'm not saying this as some young kid who doesn't understand work. I say this as someone old enough now to realize that the work people settle for does not actually meet the fulfillment that work is supposed to provide. My job is incredibly easy. On a pay to work ratio, it's off the charts. I can stare at my computer screen for an hour and get paid all the same. I just can't continue spending a third of my day just waiting on a clock to mark the time to leave.

I'm getting antsy. I set a quitting date in July, but I'm not sure I can make it that long. I have a doctor's appointment in a couple weeks so I guess I should keep this job long enough to still have health insurance for my doctor's visit. How many people use that fear of losing insurance as an excuse to stay at a terrible job? At least there is still semi-universal healthcare if I need it.

I actually started actively looking for a new job several years ago. After sending out countless resumes, the only two jobs that interviewed me did not pay anywhere near what I currently make. It's a problem in Buffalo that employers want you to have a degree and experience but want to pay entry level wages. Yet people keep asking if I'm sending resumes out before I quit my job. At this point I need a couple months off. Life will be fine even if not working full time. And who needs any of this when Uber pays almost as much and is more fulfilling? It's not like any of these options pay what they should. I'll look for remote freelance work but otherwise I'm looking forward to a summer of just living life for once.