the part you say: trying to make others happy because I'm not happy with myself. that is so true for me, and I only came aware of this a few times in my life. but that is literally what I am trying to do on a daily base. I don't hate myself for it, but I feel that that is not the way to be truly happy. only it's a way of living that comes easy when you used to do it. need to be more awake on this. thanks for your post reminding me