Hey Steemians!

Be careful of your beautiful eyes...

https://www.lenstore.co.uk/eyecare/how-avoid-computer-eye-strain

So why am I telling this story? I’m telling this story because for me it makes sense.... In order for you to know me and my process and how my experience and life has brought me to my line of thinking and believing. I want to share why and how I came to these conclusions here on Steemit!

Here is my story:

I grow up in a working class family always in need of money and my mother and father always had trouble with economics. We always had to think about how to use the money we had wisely, so it would last and bring food on the table. We didn't have much to work with as my father was the only one working in the family. My mother was sick so he had a lot of pressure on him and he drank them down.

In my earlier years both my parents drank a lot and they had a lot for friends over for drinks regularly. I’m kind of grown up with alcohol in my bottle, so to say. I had an older brother that sooner became my half brother, it was a lie told to us for many years and by the age of 25 and he 28 we got to know the truth. It didn’t change a lot in the relationships between my brother, and me, but I was mad for many years at my parents. I couldn’t believe they could do something like that to us. But they had their reasons and fears and I have forgiven them for this.

At the age of 5 I came to know of horrible things in the world, it was a lot in my family with my fathers drinking and I had a grown up neighbor that had some sexual attraction towards me and couldn’t control himself. That changed my perception on everything. For 6 years it went on, not knowing how often or how many times he took advantage of the situation of me, not being under supervision and care of my parents whom had there own issues. I was confused for many years and at the age of 11 I remembered the last time it happened. It was New Years and he came in pouring down liquor down my throat, (my first time drunk) and tried to have sexual contact with me with a friend of mine in the same room. It did not go as planned that time and he stopped when his wife came in to our apartment and was looking for him. My friend and me never talked about it afterwards. It took me several years and a lot of pain and confusion before I could talk about this and tell people what had happened. My memories were bad because of all the chaos with the situation at home and I wasn’t sure what really happened to me, but by the age of 18 I told my parents what had happened and people tried to help me deal with this but I had many years with a lot of other difficulties with drinking and not knowing my boundaries so I definitely did not find a good way to deal with that back then…

Our environment forms us…and that’s a thing and a saying I really am a firm believer of. There is scientific reaches on identical twin cells being put in different environment and develops totally different qualities due to their environment. I’m a big proponent for this knowledge, it is true to my own experiences and the experience of many people I've met during my life. I’m a believer of this, not just because science is telling me so. Combining my own experience and science just gives me more ground to stand on in this knowledge, putting this together make my belief even stronger.

http://discovermagazine.com/2013/may/13-grandmas-experiences-leave-epigenetic-mark-on-your-genes

I don’t believe people are bad, I believe that we get shaped from our environment and we get different better or worse tools to handle life’s ups and downs. Most believe that life always should be good, but what is the good if we never have some hard task to compare with?

If you never get the good ones, there is a chance you never get the opportunity to develop this kind of thinking. If you are never showed how to live within this pain and happiness you are bound to always try to be in the good state “or some prefer to be in negative” not knowing it can be good. But the pain is always coming with clinging on to things. As it where you should not be grabbing the reality you have in front of you. This is an experience I got to experience during Vipassana meditation. Before I did the meditation I believed in this true experience on the outside and I had my belief. But after I had experienced true meditation and got to know this on a subatomic level in my own body it became more real. This is the natural way of all things… things come and they go, it doesn’t matter if its good or bad, or if you define them as such. Something will always be born and die, always come and pass away.

The more we try to cling to either one of them, we are bound to be in misery. Because we can not just have one, we will always get them both and they will always change. That’s in the nature of things. And that knowledge has helped me a lot!