Why you shouldn't look down on other people

in life •  9 months ago

I’ll admit it first I guess. I was a big arsehole at school, and I was in most of the top classes. I have a friend now, on Facebook, that had it tough. He recalls a time when he hated the ground that I walked upon, and that there was an arrogance about me, a snide mockery of everyone that didn’t do as well as me in exams, or came from poor parenting backgrounds. I even remember, as a young teen, telling a girl, the same age as me that her whole family were a bunch of trailer trash. Upset, she scurried away into her home and told her Mum. Her Mum came at me with a vengeance that Hades would have been proud of. She told me that,

“You should take a look at your own fucking family first before commenting on anyone else’s ya wee bastard”

Whilst that probably wasn’t the best thing to say to a child, and that I nearly shit myself as I watched the spit dribble from her gritted teeth when she stormed up to me in her anger, I can’t help but look back on that with a strange fondness. A somewhat masochistic side to me that really appreciates times when the bitter truth was finally told. I was a child of course, and to me she was just a ranty middle-aged woman coming at me with her wet hair in her Pyjamas. There’s no way I was going to be listening to her anytime soon, but the story stuck with me until today, and probably until I die, but she was bitterly right.

Our family was no picture of perfection.

That was a theme all through my high school years; looking down on people, judging others, laughing at the abused, never standing up for what I truly believed in. I believed in a lot of good things! I don’t think I was a bad kid, I didn’t outwardly seek the bad in others. I tried to stay out of fights, although sometimes those found me, and I dare say I was probably the catalyst in a lot of those. But the core message was that I probably should have learned long ago, or at least earlier than I did, was that I was judging others harshly because of my bitter distaste for myself. I didn’t like myself.

I wore a mask.

I’d go out with my mask daily and pretend life was great. Some people would see me and probably think that I had everything sorted and most things clued up by then, but the harsh reality of it all was that the walls of security were crumbling around me and I couldn’t bear to be beside myself.

From a very young age I was told that I was broken, my Dad beat me for doing natural boy things, so I was broken. I needed to wear a mask to stop doing the things my Dad didn’t like. The TV, in my teens told me that I wasn’t looking like these muscle bound Arnie lookalikes, and I didn’t have a ton of girls falling at my feet, so I was broken. When I found porn, my schlong wasn’t a metre long and ten inches thick, so I was broken. I donned a huge mask of perfection and took it out to life, and pretended.

I didn’t want people to see that I was wearing a mask though, oh no. So, I’d point at x’s shit life and say,

“Wow, look how shit x has it, right?”

And pointing out others failures wasn’t beneath me either,

“Hah, you fucked that one up big style, didn’t you?”

It wasn’t until fairly recently, in the last five years that I learned about circumstance, and it’s a pretty big thing really. It’s probably one of the only things you have no choice over in life. The circumstances you were born into and how those have effected your life. It’s helped me a lot in being less judgemental over the years, or more so recently. Understanding people’s circumstances beyond what’s happening above the surface is a brilliant tool. I was arguing with a lady over Facebook last month about the partners we choose; does it matter at the time how thick their wallets are? And for me it’s all about potential, where can I be in 10 years’ time with this person with nothing, as opposed to the other person with lots of money? She was of the opinion that money mattered. And although that opinion would anger more than a few of my friends, I get it. Perhaps she was born into a family where the father was a super-breadwinner, perhaps she had been on a few dates with rich guys and felt it was the way to go. The options and circumstances are endless, just like mine. Understanding helps.

And judging others, well, you just come across as a dick. A big aloof piece of shit.

And in the background, it shows, because when it really boils down to it, people treat you in the same fashion as you treat yourself. Mask wearers meet other mask wearers. Wouldn’t it be great to finally take off the mask and say,

“hey! This is me. Hello”

The day I stopped judging others was the day that I took a good, long hard look at my own life. I actually realised that I was more scarred and messed up than I care to admit in public. I also realised the only person that was able to help me, was me. So, I stopped focusing on others, I looked at my own life, tried to make it better in my own situation, and once I started to feel better about myself the less I felt the need to drag others down with me, because when I was happy, I wanted others to be happy.

This is why I took to healing.

So next time you’re about to point the finger, and laugh. Why not stop and ask yourself what it is in your life that’s causing you to act this way? What can you change to make that empty space in yourself be more fulfilled?

Ask lots, never assume.

Be well, friends.

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Why you should not look down on other peolpe? I think this was a simple question but it contains deep meaning for us to improve ourselves and also our familybthat we love. Before we look down to other people, we should look at ourselves first, are we really good at it all things in life or not at all. Thank you for your advices.

That's right mr. Raymond, the only one person who was able to help you, were you. But do not forget your family, the people your care about and they love you too. We do not walk alone in this world, there are still many people who seem to care about us. Have a nice day @raymondspeaks.

There is no perfect family in this world, there must be a deficiency that we have, either personally or in the family. It is just that we ourselves should try to minimize the deficiencies. All the children born on this earth, all in holy circumstances, it is his/her family who keeps him holy or makes him/her dirty. Nice post coming from a great man thanks @raymondspeaks.

Very good honest post. Thank you for sharing this. You gave me hope for humanity. You learned to have empathy.


Thank you :)

This post has received a 3.13 % upvote from @drotto thanks to: @upboat.

May I politely ask how old you are... ?


i just turned 31. from what you have written i feel we may have led similar paths in life. i use everything as a learning tool now, even things i may have done in my past. i view myself as a different person but i never forget the stories and the times that made me who i am today


37 my friend :)

Little Hitler wanted to dance and be an artist. His military daddy was having none of that and beat it out of him.

Imagine what would have become of Adolf, and millions of innocent people, had his father not made him wear a mask.


That is spot on :)

When you are judging others, you are really just hurting yourself. You are setting points of 'failure', that you must then avoid yourself at all costs.
It creates an ever smaller space within which you can tell yourself you are OK.

like you said
we should put ourselves on those shoes before pointing sth towards them
it would not not have done that if sth similar have happened to us than and only then we can understand the feeling .


First of all: is it you kissing the mirror? Because if the answer is yes, it is hilarious imagining you taking a selfie while kissing your own image. Second of all: did you start the healing and should we all start to not be assholes because of the way we are going to be judged or because the way we will look from outside? I personally think that in life sometimes it happens to be the asshole and sometimes it happens to be the one to be victim of the asshole. Roles exchange, depending of the circumstances. I am generally a very forgiving person. I can have my 10 minutes of rage and then all is forgotten, but I am acting following what my heart says and not the way I am supposed to be nice and kind to everybody, otherwise I would risk to be nice to people that I don't like and to do stuff that I don't like. Let's all express and be ourselves in the limit of the decency! Be well, friend.


Thank you for your insight :)

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