Man, that was such a read. I can never get my head around bad mothers. My Dad was the problem, and yup, it was the drink that killed him in the end. I spent the first five years of my life peniless so my Dad could go to the pub daily and pretend he was rich. He had personal drivers and everything. He earned a good wage, but it all went on him, everything.
My life story is quite similar to yours. My Dad once introduced me to my half sister that was living with him, who actually wasn't my half sister. Mind fuck, really.
Not that you probably need it, but if there's one bit of advice that I can give you from my life is - get up from your computer now and go get your mrs. Sometimes it takes the bigger person to just step down and say I'm sorry, even if you're not in the wrong. Your kid is two. The future hasn't happened yet. The future isn't set. There's no way you would be anything like your Mum - the fact that you have just let the love of your life slip through your fingers to counteract that proves to me you wouldn't let it happen. Spoken from a man / father that constantly worried he'd be like his dad.
Go get her man.
I think you gave him great advice @raymondspeaks.
Hi bud, thanks for sharing. I really think the distinction between bad mothers and bad fathers is something I would not give too much thought. There are only bad people. You don't need a dick to be a dick after all.
I can see having a selfish father made you more empathetic. It's funny we either become a mirror image or the polar opposite. I don't know which one I will be yet. Maybe somewhere inbetween.
If I could not get over my own insecurities in the last 11 years then I need to change things. The clearest sign of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again with the same result. That is all we have been doing. Maybe I took the cowards road and probably many other ways I could have went. Gone to her parents myself and just sorted it out. It still would not fix the actual root of my problem. Aileen never thought enough of me to stand up to her parents. That's being a bit harsh, she probably just can't. The fact I have not gotten over that through everything probably means I can't.