Hi bud, thanks for sharing. I really think the distinction between bad mothers and bad fathers is something I would not give too much thought. There are only bad people. You don't need a dick to be a dick after all.
I can see having a selfish father made you more empathetic. It's funny we either become a mirror image or the polar opposite. I don't know which one I will be yet. Maybe somewhere inbetween.

If I could not get over my own insecurities in the last 11 years then I need to change things. The clearest sign of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again with the same result. That is all we have been doing. Maybe I took the cowards road and probably many other ways I could have went. Gone to her parents myself and just sorted it out. It still would not fix the actual root of my problem. Aileen never thought enough of me to stand up to her parents. That's being a bit harsh, she probably just can't. The fact I have not gotten over that through everything probably means I can't.