Dah - ai - eing

Dying sucks, and by extension being dead should be even suckier. "Suck" is a word those not dying and still very alive would scoff at. "Not very nice." they would say, you cannot cheapen the poor persons suffering or the loss of them by saying:

It just sucks ^_hmpf

Fair enough. Maybe the dying could lighten up a bit, or add more drama to further impress that it is not "just sucky." To be clear this will apply to all dying, for one thing, there will no longer be something like instantly dead but I think it is a good idea to have the pain go away for best results.

Ok, so for the idea to improve dying, for the living. And titled:

Dying for the benefit of the living

It is quite simple, you just have to be clear about what you are doing. Don't be a dick and just snuff it leaving them confused. Give the people a show, if I am being "Glass half full", then they came to see you and be with you in your final moments.

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Even if they were murdering you don't you think that effort deserves some feedback?

So a few major things would need to change in human evolution to fully integrate this visionary new way of dying but for now, I will ignore it and here it is:

Be honest and above all don't feint.

Just say it. It is that simple. You start with "I am dying."

Then again after a period, like the ticking of a clock. Hours, minutes, seconds and you can have a few final words in between.

"I am dying." pause, "Please know that I have never liked your Mom. I am dying."

Once this has been adopted and bred into the species I can definitely see world where you would not need to think about the timing to indicate how close you are to death. So a natural flow would be for "I am dying." Which indicates ample time to say farewell, you know. The world is your oyster then.

The closer you get the quicker the phrase gets repeated until it is just an orange level, quick succession "Dying." Yes, I will use triage here. Note that there should not be inflections, just a plain simple quick monotone "Dying."

This informs everyone that you are in fact dying. They may cry and squeeze your hand, they may stare into your eyes as you stare back and repeat "Dying. .. Dying. .. Dying. .."

The monotone repeat nature of the phrase creates atmosphere and it helps to set the stage for the definitive and not sucky at all final word on the matter.

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Usage and adoption.

So clearly this will first have to get used and adopted by the populace at large before it can be bred in and become instinctual like a birds sense of direction or lions knowing they should eat people.

So for the benefit of the living, use it. Maybe one day someone can just walk into an emergency room and say "I am dying." they can ask them to have a seat and wait for the next time they say it, take the time and inform the doctor that the shudders are 5minutes apart.

The doc will nod approvingly that they still have some time and turn their attention to the old man who just got reeled in. "Dying. Dying. Dying. .." the old man will be saying. "Get him to the operating room, stat!" the Doc will demand, the old mans shudders only a second apart.

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Little Annie will ask her Mommy why Grandpa will not be attending her birthday. Having left little Annie with a friend when they went to go see Grandpa in the hospital she does not know, and Mommy did not know how to tell her. Let her just have today she thought to herself and dodged Annies question.

Mommy thinks back to two days prior when they got the call that Grandpa was dying. When they got there he had just come out of the operating room and the Doc informed them that unfortunately there was nothing they could do. He was now in syllables.

Entering his room she knew this was the end, very few make it out of syllables. "Dah-ai-eing" Granpa said, and this brought a tear to her eye. No crying Mommy thought to herself. She will stay strong until the end for Grandpa.

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Mostly syllables last about 5 minutes and the Doc said he had just started, just as she felt she could not bear the slowing and constant "Daaah - aiiiiii - eeiiinng" it came. The final syllable.

"E e e." She smiled at him as he was clearly trying to hold on, this was the most dramatic and un-sucky thing she had ever experienced.

She smiled to let him know it is ok, he had delivered a great rendition. The Doc stepped forward and squeezed her shoulder in agreement. "A great rendition indeed." He said as though reading her thoughts. "The final syllable is beginning." He said and stepped back.

"E eee..." and ping the microwave went in glorious timing with Grandpas last syllable, his room was across from a mini kitchen for the staff. His eyes closed, his final "...inng" echoing the ping from the microwave.

The ping from the microwave had left the Doc confused and unsure whether Grandpa was truly dead, but Annies Mother knew.

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"Mommy why is Grandpa not bringing me presents?"

Annies Mother snapped out of her thoughts and looked at her daughter then sighed and said. "Because Granpa has pinged my dear."

Years after, kids would be told that their pets have pinged, microwaves and other equipment that ping have been banned and the world has not heard a single person in over 50 years say that dying is just "Sucky."