My husband has suffered from PTSD since 1969. I tried for a very long time to reach him and help him. Nothing worked so I finally left him after 40 years. Don't feel bad going for help. Don't feel bad about going to doctors. Find some fellow vets to talk to and with you. There are many outreach centers, find one. When you start to reach out you are working on making your life better. You can carry that weight for a long time but all it will do is drag you down. Look forward, where do you want to be in 5 years? Then work toward that goal. Be at peace my friend, you are home now.