Sometimes Things Feel Hopeless...

Continue From "The Higher the Place, the Stronger the Winds...."

So I start to uncomfortable with the job. When second week they start to show some colour and play politics game. The boss ask to make report to the supervisor inset of office, which is the other way wrong. By hierarchy the supervisor need to report me and I need to check before I submit to the office to do admin job.

And again before the week end they play another game again. The boss ask to told the supervisor that, I need to handle one job with only one helper.

Which is need to replace 25MM thick steel plates to remove and replace at the rubbish collection hopper. Use oxygen and acetylene gas to cut the plate out and replace back with the new plate and weld back. I had to do all by myself with one new worker from Bangladesh. So I have to teach everything and he only can just help me for general issue. I start to suffer with their strategy games and frustrated with them.

The second boss start to play childish game with me. When I was inside rubbish hopper, he give me a called and said he cannot find me inside the hopper. When I went up and find him and called back to him he said, he was in the office, he just want to check with me that whether I am inside the hoper or not? I am so angry at him and said, please be a man, don’t play this type of game.

I become so depress with this new job. So I blame myself that why I am caught in the trap and I cannot find the answer that why I meet this kind of people in my life. When I wake up, I feel like I don’t want to go to work. But I pushed myself to go every day. When I arrive to job side, meet with fellow colleagues, I fell a bit better and can do the job together. At the time, I can do more job together and try to concentrate my job and I lay myself down.

At the same time, I find new job again and look for some release myself from the depression. I have grown bitterness to the people and always angry myself and even sometime I bit myself. Why I am such a looser in my life and why I can’t escape from this kind of life. I want to upgrade myself to get better life but after I finished my diploma, I thought I can get better pay and job, but turn up I drop into same square. I really can’t find the answer.

I have only best friend that I only go can talk and cry loud to him was Jesus. I blame him and I cry to him daily. Every evening I went to church at Ang Mo Kio near my house and find adoration chapel and sit there for one hour and release my stress. Some time I fall asleep inside the chapel and someone need to wake me up. When I go to adoration chapel, I feel much better and lighter.

After adoration chapel, I used to go my girlfriend house to visit her. Sometimes I had a dinner with them and I went back to my house and sleep. Her house was very near to my house.

I share with her how much I have been suffer with the job and we don’t have any solution. Day by day pass by the depression was more increase.

The situation was no one can help me unless I quite the job and find another job. At that time no one invite me for interview because when I was inside the work site network connection is very poor so that I can not get any call from other company for interview.

To Be Continue.....

GO WELL....(By: PatrickSanLin. MSC 007)

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