Satirical rant -- What aspects of humans have made us a successful species?
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Not sure if this was a serious question, but since i am a self-acclaimed success doctor, I shall tell you why we're successful with a short rant. I'll give you three points; Reproduction, the ingenuity to mass-produce more junk stuff than other species, the art of lying, and Pringles!
Okay, those aren't exactly 3 points. But i figured no one would mind. I have an immutable space to write whatever i please and you're here to read my rants on them because you want to (to be honest, I really want to believe i made you do it). It's hard work to write rants that make some kinda sense but in reality is probably useless to everyone.
Anyways, it was really hard ditching the word 'sex' for 'reproduction'. The later makes it sound like you're in high school biology class again and you lose every inclination to want to mate each time a partner uses it. Whatever term rocks your boat, the thing is literally hard to miss. We've always talked about it since humans lived in caves up until we found an easier way to do that using the internet.
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Humans, like every other sexual living thing, thrive on sex. Horses do it, cats, dogs, dinosaurs, Trump's parents did it, cows and chickens, etc. I bet for once, you might have even look at a married couple and gone, "Legit sex, yay!".
Love? Science thinks that love is the chemistry of bullshitty terms that no one really cares about like Norepinephrine, Dopamine and Phenylethylamine. but really it's just us. In fact, if there ever was a rule preventing the opposite genders from coming together to satisfy this deep, primal need, i don't see anyone sticking around for long. The planet would be probably filled with this plant guy right here.
So, for the next point. Ingenuity, because if you consider how well the human civilization has grown and developed, you see that with each growth came the ability to produce more stuff to make reproduction and living more comfortable, and ultimately, slowly sunsetting the planet in a justified way while we are at it. Everything you've come to know and love will end someday. Isn't that just honourable?!
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Sometimes i imagine we're in a race somehow and it seems we're always a step ahead from the rest of the plants and animals. While they're out in the open chasing their tails, hunting the next meal, and literally stuck to one method of "doing it", we've invented plastics and gas flaring methods to contaminate the planet, chocolates to make us feel good, smartphones and grudges to keep us from talking to our parents or anyone at all, king-sized beds to reproduce on as well as a compact registry of sex positions to make it a slightly sophisticated ...thing. Ingenuity!
Oh, and, we've even figured out how to domesticate and cook them for our meals and to take some animal hostages we refer to as pets. How we got stuck to felines and canines, i guess we will never truly know. We need more Croc and Bufallo pet owners? Maybe. However, we are successful and one simply cannot put a price on that!
Third point? A friend Nelson, suggested this one and i think he's got a point. Lying because in the real world, we've got tons of stuff developed on lies. It's how we circumvent stalemates and avoid NO for answers. If you want it so badly and you're not about to work hard and honest for it, you'll be better off lying anyways. Where would we be without lies? A good number of relationships are built on lies, wars have been started on lies, empires, entire nations, and businesses have been founded on lies, etc. Each time the world moved on from asking too many questions, someone probably lied somewhere. It's like the glue that make difficult and unlikely items stick and we cannot get enough of this stuff!
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On the fourth point, there's really nothing to see here. My deeply-rooted-and-hard-to-resist junkie self was at it again. There's nothing like a pack of deeply-fried potato chips beside you on a word-adventure such as this one. Call me cheap. For me, it's like a starter pack for boundless creativity where everything is possible.
Civilization needed motivation and a god. So, someone invented Pringles. And we've never been better appreciative!
Oh my God, dear @pangoli.
You have managed to draw a big smile on my face and at the same time make me reflect in so many ways.
What a skillful pen you have. You can address issues of great importance and make them look like trivial stuff. But very cleverly you leave us a message in our psyche.
Thank you for this dear friend.
All best, Piotr.
Thank you Piotr, i am glad you liked it.
Seems you left me a memo days ago. I shall take a look at it right away.
Lol! This is creative, thought provoking, and hilarious... And that's not a lie!
Groot!
Thank you dear. I am glad you liked it. :-D
Humans are unique among the primates in how walking fully upright is our chief mode of locomotion. This frees our hands up for using tools. Unfortunately, the changes made in our pelvis for moving on two legs, in combination with babies with large brains, makes human childbirth unusually dangerous compared with the rest of the animal kingdom. A century ago, childbirth was a leading cause of death for women. The lumbar curve in the lower back, which helps us maintain our balance as we stand and walk, also leaves us vulnerable to lower back pain and strain.
Such an interesting finding. Will definitely be reading up on this one! Thank you for sharing!
What a huge rant ahahah Well, I do have to agree with some of the points here... there is just one point where I have to disagree, sex is not reproduction xD You can have sex without reproducing... Thank god! Or we would have a world full of little kids already ahaha
I love where humanity came from and is moving towards, I just wish I could see it all! All the future progress, the future wars, the future diplomacy, the future tech... I'm not kidding, I might very well freeze myself when I'm older!
I agree. I don't think i found the right word i needed to connote and contrast sex and reproduction together at the time of writing though.
Kids, everywhere! I've got a new ICO idea! Try Cryogenics today. Freeze yourself for the future and get paid for it when you're all that is left!. lol
Thanks for reading man, always a pleasure! :-D
Sick! Just sick!!!
Permit the word please but that's what came to mind after digesting this piece. By "sick" I mean "massively creative". You're a sick writer pan. I couldn't help but laugh at the mention of Trump and especially the way you described reproduction....or sex, lol.
You did justice to this piece/rant and ended up making me appreciate being human even more. Great job! 👍
Thank you dearest. Sometimes, you have no idea where the creatives juices are flowing from or to. One minute its there, the next it's gone. You just have to get the most of it when it's there! I am glad you read and enjoyed it.