I want to slap you silly now! Fate determines how our bodies work. I + baby would have been dead 3X if medical technology was not available. I was also not able to breastfeed, which I felt terribly guilty about after the birth of my first child, until I slapped myself silly. There are things in life you have no control of, and it is like that for a reason. Feeling guilty when you did not purposely do something serves no purpose other than to make you miserable.! (PS: luckily you live across the ocean!)