^{I'll never be able to understand why so many people fall for bullshit. I learned early, I can only trust myself but that doesn't mean I'll have it all figured out.}

^{The Drunken Clown Walks Home After The Bar}

As Usual

^{I've spent more time producing snazzy artwork.}

In case you missed it, just look up. It should be directly in front of you. Yup. No bullshit.

Something simple, I guess. Took awhile to blend all those fancy colors together like that though.

Ever find yourself drunk, walking home, after being at a bar?

I have.

^{And it looks just like that.}

I'm glad those days are over.

I do other things now. For instance, today, I went to visit a few old friends.

Nice house in an older neighborhood. My first time visiting this home.

One of the first things I noticed as I entered their driveway didn't even belong to them. The neighbor's front covered patio had about seven transparent plastic bags of water hanging from the rafters by thread. Upon closer inspection, I noticed each bag contained three pennies. The spacing between the coins appeared to be planned as they were all about an inch apart.

"What kind of voodoo is that?"

^{I cheerfully asked my friend as he greeted me.}

He said the bags weren't hanging there the day before and appeared to be about as puzzled as I was. A few minutes later his wife came outside carrying a baby, followed by the little dude who's nearly five years old.

I asked her if she could explain these hanging water bag ornaments. The puzzled look on her face quickly turned to shock when the little dude proudly stated, "That's where the crazy lady lives."

"Oh really?" I thought I'd play along and hear the kid out.

He told me he was playing with his trucks in the sandbox, "Like this," as he demonstrated, then said he heard yelling, "Like this," as he impersonated, so he went over to the fence to look through the cracks, "Like this," and explained how he "saw her saying bad words to the lawnmower."

I was distracted by a cold beer being handed to me,

^{before I had a chance to look through the cracks.}

I'm still a bit curious about what kinds of things could be in that backyard. Never did get a chance to take a look and be the nosy neighbor.

The water bags though...

I asked buddy to pull out his phone and Google "Water bags pennies."

Apparently this information age witchcraft exists to keep the houseflies away. The first few links offered were debunking the concept. Some say it works, others say it doesn't.

I say, "What kind of human wakes up one day and decides they'll hang bagged water and include three pennies, just to see what it does..."

---

Damn sparrows keep crapping all over my new car! Tomorrow I'm going to combine apple cider vinegar, whiskey, salt, and bleach. Mix it all up real good and spray it on the tires. Then I'll cut a lime in half, inject it with morphine, stick three toothpicks in it, smear it with toothpaste, put it all in the microwave for 2 minutes on high, then place it inside of a cardboard box, and put that box on the hood of my car. That should keep the birds away.

---

How many of these strange concoctions had to fail before someone finally saw some positive results?

So, yeah.

^{Apparently the internet is full of shit.}

One site tells people to fill bags with water, add pennies, and hang them up — to keep flies away.

The next site says it's all bullshit.

Then you search something like, "Does Snopes actually tell the truth."

Then another site says that site is full of shit.

Then you take the science route.

But then the next site says science is all full of shit.

Everyone

^{and everything...}

Is full of shit.

When I left that place, I made sure to have a good look at those dangling water bags again.

There were flies walking all over them and I think two were fucking.

Have a nice day.

Credits:All art and images seen here were produced digitally, by me.
_{"These are some crazy times we live in..."}

^{© 2019 @NoNamesLeftToUse.  All rights reserved.}