Missing: One Murder Weapon
Have You Seen My Baby?
It was last used in an alley behind a few fancy head shops downtown near 101 Street.
I remember I was jamming the body into my cool 80's van when I saw headlights. This struck me as odd because it was shortly before noon and most people don't use high beams until much later. That odd feeling started to melt all over my body and I began to rush things. I quickly threw everything else into the van(or so I thought) and got the hell out of there.
When I Got Home
I noticed she was gone. I looked everywhere, tore the van apart and put it back together.
My baby, how could I lose her! Sarah! I must have asked myself that question fifty or sixty times before I decided to go back to the scene.
The cops were everywhere, doing their thing. Some were leaning on a car laughing about something. Another one was pretending his baton was his penis. He'd walk up behind other members of the force and gently push his penis baton thing onto their ass regions. Some got angry, others giggled.
Then the Sergeant Came
So that's when I decided to hide behind a dumpster and have a listen. Nothing they said gave me any clues.
I then felt a strange sensation near my ass region. It was the penis baton cop guy, and he was asking me to leave.
Before departing I asked him, "Did you guys happen to find the murder weapon," and the cop said no. So at least I know where not to look.
This is the Most Recent Photo I Have of Her
If anyone has seen my baby or knows of any information, do not hesitate to leave a comment below. We must be reunited. It is a matter of life and death.
I thank you for your time and attention.
ahh i wondered who left that behind.
To be honest i don't want to give it back, I can't give it back
its so addictive. the feel of it in my hands sends chills down my spine. It has bonded with my soul. I may let you have it back, if i can have it on the weekends.
You have Sarah! You bastard! Give her back to me!
I refuse to go into a lengthy court battle over custody! She is mine! No weekends for you! I should remind you that I have not been receiving support payments! 1000 STEEM per week! Where's my money!
Not Sarah!! Anything but Sarah!!
That's our song :(
(At least it wasn't Alice...)
If it were Alice I'd have a lot more songs to choose from...Jefferson Starship lol
Willing you guys to be reunited as quickly as possible (((((((hugs)))))))
Thank you for your support in my time of need. There will be a candlelight vigil tomorrow night and I hope you can make it. I'm also trying everything possible to get her picture on the milk carton, but the people at Big Milk have poor phone service and keep disconnecting my calls.
Those bastards. Have they never felt the pain of loss? Once you are reunited perhaps you and Sarah should pay Big Milk a visit.
I'll be milking that cow for everything she's worth! Mark my words!
I don't know where Sarah is but I was visiting the head shop earlier. I was buying that hookah for tobacco...really...just tobacco...And this...oh it's a normal brownie....Anyways I heard a lot of noise outside and saw a car speeding off from behind the building. It wasn't a swanky 80s van. Maybe the driver of that car has your Sarah.
Nope, that was the Sarahless, vanfull, me. I didn't think I made that much noise? I'm not sure what the squeak is coming from under the hood. Certainly can't afford a new belt thing if I have to go out and purchase a new chop thing.
My bad...that "tobacco" really got me confused. Pretty strong stuff. It didn't look like a van but then again maybe it did. Good luck finding Sarah...she's a real beauty.
Hmmm. Maybe I left her over by the "tobacco" plants...