_{It is 2018. Majority of us are adults. Why is my television still bleeping?}

I demand change!

Fuck

^{There. Was that so hard?}

I want my television to come with an option that allows me to shut that annoying bleeping censor sound off.

If the Flanders family comes over, we just won't watch television. We can hang out in the backyard and talk about Jesus. He seems like a cool guy anyway and I like fresh air. I don't mind. I'm not religious, at all, but I can tolerate religious people and the words they use. I do not tell them to shut up and when they speak I do not hear a bleeping noise when they say something I might not agree with.

Now

^{I realize certain words bother people.}

I'm fine with that. I hate the word 'twelve' because it makes my mouth feel weird when I say it.

But who enjoys this goddamn bleeping noise!

I want to be able to shut that off; it's driving me crazy!

Bleep-bleep bleeeeep John! Get in the bleep bleep bleep bleep car! Let's get the bleep outta here before those bleepers bleep the bleep out of us. Bleep! Bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep! Bleep! Bleep bleep bleep! Bleep pancakes are good! Bleep bleep bleep the syrup! Bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep! Bleep! Bleep! Mom is coming for supper!

I would be far more entertained if that sounded like chickens!

^{Or ducks! Or anything! Sheep! Pure silence even! Let me read their lips at least!}

Do they not realize how high the ratings would be if they just allowed people to speak naturally? I just finished watching nearly two minutes of advertisements, then it switches over to this goddamn bleeping noise for 8 minutes!

That's torture! I'm shutting it off and going outside! I'm going fire up the lawnmower and it can go:

Brwaaaaawwwwwwwwwwwwwowowowowowowowow!

For as long as it wants to because that's what a lawnmower sounds like!

I have never been confronted by a man on the street who uses Morse code to bum a smoke off of me! Nobody beeps at me unless they have an attitude problem and can't handle the stress of being behind the wheel! Then once Mr. Road-Rage is finished beeping, I hear the words that should have been bleeped! "Fuck you, asshole!" I didn't melt! Still alive! He's just having a bad day! His wife is probably cheating on him and he's been stuck working the same shitty job at the plant for the past thirty years! Let him have his moment! Say whatever you want buddy! Let it out! You'll feel better and there's no sense keeping it all in until it's time to go full out psycho moments before swerving that car into oncoming traffic!

Give us the words!

^{Get rid of the bleeps!}

You call that reality TV? I call it bullshit! I can't make that sound no matter how hard I try!

Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep!

I still sound like a man saying beep!

Who says 'beep'!?!?!?!?

Nobody!

Have a nice day!

Credits: _{All images seen here were produced digitally, by me. "If you need me, I'll be outside yelling at the clouds!"}

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