I Would Prefer To Hear Chicken Sounds
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Fuck
There. Was that so hard?
I want my television to come with an option that allows me to shut that annoying bleeping censor sound off.
If the Flanders family comes over, we just won't watch television. We can hang out in the backyard and talk about Jesus. He seems like a cool guy anyway and I like fresh air. I don't mind. I'm not religious, at all, but I can tolerate religious people and the words they use. I do not tell them to shut up and when they speak I do not hear a bleeping noise when they say something I might not agree with.
Now
I realize certain words bother people.
I'm fine with that. I hate the word 'twelve' because it makes my mouth feel weird when I say it.
But who enjoys this goddamn bleeping noise!
I want to be able to shut that off; it's driving me crazy!
Bleep-bleep bleeeeep John! Get in the bleep bleep bleep bleep car! Let's get the bleep outta here before those bleepers bleep the bleep out of us. Bleep! Bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep! Bleep! Bleep bleep bleep! Bleep pancakes are good! Bleep bleep bleep the syrup! Bleep bleep bleep bleep bleep! Bleep! Bleep! Mom is coming for supper!
I would be far more entertained if that sounded like chickens!
Or ducks! Or anything! Sheep! Pure silence even! Let me read their lips at least!
Do they not realize how high the ratings would be if they just allowed people to speak naturally? I just finished watching nearly two minutes of advertisements, then it switches over to this goddamn bleeping noise for 8 minutes!
That's torture! I'm shutting it off and going outside! I'm going fire up the lawnmower and it can go:
Brwaaaaawwwwwwwwwwwwwowowowowowowowow!
For as long as it wants to because that's what a lawnmower sounds like!
I have never been confronted by a man on the street who uses Morse code to bum a smoke off of me! Nobody beeps at me unless they have an attitude problem and can't handle the stress of being behind the wheel! Then once Mr. Road-Rage is finished beeping, I hear the words that should have been bleeped! "Fuck you, asshole!" I didn't melt! Still alive! He's just having a bad day! His wife is probably cheating on him and he's been stuck working the same shitty job at the plant for the past thirty years! Let him have his moment! Say whatever you want buddy! Let it out! You'll feel better and there's no sense keeping it all in until it's time to go full out psycho moments before swerving that car into oncoming traffic!
Give us the words!
Get rid of the bleeps!
You call that reality TV? I call it bullshit! I can't make that sound no matter how hard I try!
Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep!
I still sound like a man saying beep!
Who says 'beep'!?!?!?!?
Nobody!
Have a nice day!
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Whoa, dude! We are in sync today, that was crazy to read after what I posted! I'm editing my post now to include this- people will definitely wonder if we collaborated.
I read your post and thought the same damn thing. I nearly left a similar comment on your blog but you got to me first!
Well, don't be shy, I'll promote you in the comments too!
These days many of my voters and commenters show up hours after I post- I'm happy to direct them to your awesome entertainment ;)
I boosted you to the top here, and I left my famous "How to fuck: Fucking lessons for beginners" joke on your blog. Hope you don't mind! LOL!
If you can't handle a cuss word, how can you claim to be mature enough to vote?
Oh come on. Everyone knows the people who cuss can't even figure out how to wipe their own ass because they're so stupid.
" I do not tell them to shut up and when they speak I do not hear a bleeping noise when they say something I might not agree with."
I have the sudden urge to crochet this into a pillow and throw it at all the people who tell me I should speak more like a lady.
Damn, this was bleeping spot on.
What are we hiding from!
Maybe I should weld that on to the back of my truck with the ball sack hanging from the hitch.
deez bleeping nutz
😂😂😂
What lawnmower is that you've got?
I think mine might be broke...
He sounds more like - "Fuck sake, how come it's always me that's gotta cut this Fucking grass!"
You better get that fixed! Probably a clogged air filter.
Yeah, I might try adjusting the choke first.
Yup. Just squeeze until they stop making that gurgling sound. Problem solved.
Nothing more fitting to say:
I think the Road Runner was just telling that damn coyote to fuck off, but they took his voice away! Those bastards!
Hmmm, I always thought it was just telling him: Never gonna get me, sucker! :P
It had to be something more serious. It just had to be. Why would the coyote be such a jerk? It was bad enough to feel the need to strap rockets to his back. I think it was some serious shit.
Just a maniac that can't handle losing... or he was just really really hungry (and retarded) I guess...
Lol. It's been a long time since I've owned a television, so except very occasionally, I never really hear that beeping sound anymore.
I have, however, been known to enjoy some "Unnecessary Censorship" from time to time:
The problem is those laws were written in an older time where people were more puritan, and now we're in a weird sort of in-between state where new media aren't governed in the same ways, but old media are still bound by the archaic restrictions.
Beep it all, anyway.
That beep seems to be a way for the enforcers to advertise their stranglehold upon our minds. That was a sound we say you're not allowed to hear. Imagination trying to explain that to a tribe of people who haven't had contact with the outside world. One day they're chucking spears, the next they think we're all idiots.
Emigrate to a more enlightened country, that should effing solve this effing problem.
I always thought I lived in one; until I go on Facebook and watch them panic over memes they share about government stuff. I'd probably be alright if they bleeped the effing nonsense produced by amateur propagandists for likes.
The economics are sad when you realize someone is paid to add bleeps. I agree with the chicken sounds, or remove most of the swearing. It loses its effect if it's used all of the time. In fact, get rid of the Smurfs since they teach us to swear. We just substitute different words for smurfin' this and smurfin' that when we get older.
These people are using that bleep sound to get attention. I bet half of the time they're not even using the words in those shows. They just add the bleeps for drama. I don't use the words all the time in everyday speech but I think those bleeps are fucked. I'd rather have the option to turn bleeps on or off. I would never say those people need to start acting differently. Those people are digging gold and swearing when they're happy. Why censor joy?
You know, you're right and with today's technology, there should be a way to let you choose whether you want the words bleeped or not.
Well sure! It's not too much to ask. Then those who enjoy the bleeps can have their strange fetish and the rest of us can just relax and watch the show as it was intended. Even cow sounds would be cooler than the beeping though. That beep is offensive to my ears!
And they could monetize it just like with ring tones - now they have an incentive to do it if there are enough people that hate the bleep like you. You could buy and add your own bleep substitutes, record your own, or do without. We're on to something here...
oh, so you were actually back !
am glad that you are
I had to take a quick look here due to something ...
you probably already know
my bad am sorry I couldn't help it :)
what a bleep (just kidding)
I don't watch tv anymore but I still can relate to how you must have felt
I rarely watch the idiot box myself, but if I want to relax; how is that possible when everything sounds like an alarm clock attempting to control my life. I can still hear those beeps. It's haunting me now. LOL!
I was going to do something, write something or even comment something.
But then, I had three beers. Well, that's a boner :/
I missed your comment, my bad. You're probably on beer eleven by now. Enjoy the boner!
What the cluck? Naaah, I only had three beers plus half a shot to the face.
Muy entretenidas palabras la verdad, Quisiera que sonara como pollo también, Jajaja