Came Close To Giving Up Yesterday: Seriously — I Nearly Walked Away
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I'm often misunderstood.
That's my life. That's how it is for me.
I've made plenty of attempts over the years to adjust my personality with the hopes I would be able to fit in. Instead of being myself, I've tried to be someone else, thinking whoever I'm associating with at the time would appreciate that version of me more than my true self.
I learned, years ago, being anyone but myself is a complete waste of time. Those were mistakes from my youth.
I've had to push myself to a point where I simply don't care what people think of me. It's liberating and I can be as honest as I want. I don't need to beat around the bush, dress to impress, mince my words; I can just cut the shit and get to the point, or I can drag it out for as long as I want. Doesn't matter to me.
So basically, that's where I stand.
Wherever I want.
I can't be influenced by other people. I make my own decisions. I can disagree with a friend. I can call bullshit when a friend attempts to manipulate me into thinking one of my other friends is a bad person. "Why do you hang around with them? Don't you know they did this and that and said those things to so-and-so?"
Get lost. Save your gossip for someone who cares.
It's easy for me to put a friend in their place, so just imagine how simple it is for me to call bullshit coming from someone who is not my friend.
Simple!
"That's bullshit and here's why: Blah blah blah blah blah!"
Does that mean I don't like that individual? Am I going into beast mode; ready to attack?
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The individual is fine!
It's their bullshit I'm disagreeing with.
It's a simple concept, you should try it some time, but when you do, just know, majority of people on this planet will take everything out of context and think you're dishing out personal attacks.
They'll often take everything personally, then respond with personal attacks; attempting to remove the focus from the real issues at hand.
The latest trend in personal attacks goes something like:
You're toxic! Negative! Yadda-yadda-yadda!
Look at yourself in the mirror Mr Positivity.
Do you not realize one of the most negative things someone can do or say to another is call them negative?
That mentality requires one to first think 'positive' is better. Now that they view themselves up on a pedestal, looking down on the rest of society, they can see people as being below them; negative.
Those attempting to silence others in that fashion are, based upon their actual logic, some of thee most negative people on this entire planet. Using light to disguise their darkness.
This is my usual thought process when I'm cornered by one of those truly negative types:
There are things I'd like to say, but until the whole positive/negative; everything is black or white; good or bad; up or down; here or there mentality is thrown out the window and replaced with something more realistic, those things cannot be said.
Seeking Balance
There's more to life than 'either, or'.
Society seems to be forgetting not everything needs to be divided. Sure, it's good to be optimistic, but if someone is coming at you with a knife, you better damn well be prepared to face some negativity or you're fucking screwed.
Long ago, I taught myself a few tricks of my own. I embrace the entire picture. There's no positive energy and negative energy, only energy. Does that car battery work when only the positive terminal is connected? Nope. Gotta have both, or nothing. I'm not afraid of one while I embrace the other. I can't expect life to work without both.
Thinking positively can lead to a world of hurt. Not all events that occur in our lives are controlled by us. Many things are beyond our control.
You just finished answering all those questions at the big job interview. You nailed it! You're feeling great and you really want this job! You're confident it's yours; you're being optimistic, thinking positive! Hooray! Then it's two weeks later and you still haven't received a call. Check your email and dammit, they said, "Sorry. No job for you."
Why! Why! Why!
This hurts! This sucks! Ow! My heart! It's broken!
It only hurts so much because you applied too much of that positive charge you believe in so much and got a shock. Didn't expect something negative to happen so it caught you off guard.
Next time, don't expect good things. Sure, hope for good things, but expect bad things as well. Bad isn't so bad when you realize good can't exist without bad. To have good, you need bad. Thanks, bad!
So if you weren't really expecting to get the job, then actually get the job, the reward feeling of getting the job far exceeds the reward feeling of getting the job if you thought it was yours the entire time you waited to hear back from the employer. You rob yourself of that reward feeling almost completely if you think it's in the bag.
If you didn't get the job, it's no big deal, it doesn't hurt as much, because you kind of expected that outcome. In reality, it doesn't hurt to think negatively. The pain actually stems from thinking positive, and not getting your way.
Society stays divided.
Because of this positive/negative mentality being forced upon people.
Imagine stepping out of your comfort zone to be honest and point out a serious problem, only to be told it's you who is doing something wrong for speaking up. That has happened in your life. It's not fun. Next time you'll stay out of it, right?
The truth becomes censored out of fear of being labelled, 'negative'.
That's always coming from people presenting themselves as, 'positive'.
That, is dangerous.
The darkness disguised as light will ensure all problems go unsolved.
Brainwash
And it runs deep. There's a strong chance someone out there reading this right now has been brainwashed, thinks they're a positive person, views this message as negative, while not being able to see how thinking this is negative, according to their logic, is negative. Unable to be their true selves by denying half of their being and not understanding the other half they're trying to be.
Hmm.
Maybe I'm wrong, maybe you disagree; guess what, that's fine with me.
But the next time you feel like utilizing your divisive mentality, stand up, put your hands out to your sides as far as they can be. There's your positive hand on one side, your negative on the other. That's all you can see. Guess what's in the middle? Your head. Use it. A healthy balance, is key.
Have a nice day!
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Being anyone but yourself is a waste of time you say and I absolutely agree!
Anna89, I haven't seen you in weeks. I hope you're doing well.
Hey it's so nice to hear from you again, I missed all you friday posts hahaha being thinking them on fridays really hahaha. I have been away for one month I guess, they were really difficult for me, but I am back now and I hope that stays this way!
I know exactly how this goes, even though I wouldn’t really consider it “stepping out of my comfort zone.” I’m very comfortable with being honest and pointing out problems or asking the “hard-hitting” questions.
Tell me about it. It disgusts me how many people around here claim the “positivity” mantle while bitching and whining about anyone who asks questions or criticizes things that ought to be criticized. There are quite a few of these dicks who have made a pretty good Steem living off of fake “positivity” and labeling/denigrating anyone who doesn’t share in their phony, bullshit online persona.
If you’re interested in any names, let me know. :)
I'm comfortable with it as well but I also know things could get quite uncomfortable, maybe for others and the surrounding area, making that zone uncomfortable. But who said life came with seat belts and warning labels?
Doesn't make it easy to get through to someone when you must first break down their public figure persona wall. It doesn't even have to be a somewhat heated moment either. Sometimes it's nice to just talk to the one behind the scenes, say hi, shoot the shit, but they won't let you in. Get a plastic response and get sent on your way.
Names? I don't think there are too many names left to use.
I for one I'm glad you are sticking around... we need people who care as much as you do.
I'll try to stick around and there are a few things I need to try to do better as well. Thanks for stopping in today. I don't often get to see The Meno around these parts. You're always welcome.
I find it impossible not to see multiple views on an issue. Everything is grey; black and white is for simpletons. We can and should all work at being more diplomatic without BS. Maybe positivity is the word we use when we really wish people would express themselves while remaining civil.
I agree, BUT...
People hate that but part. Not everything is a yes or no. Life isn't a multiple choice exam either. There's more than one right answer and being wrong doesn't mean failure. The more I live, the more I notice how twisted things are becoming. Remain civil. Civilized. I wonder if royalty invented that word.
They used to coach people to use "I agree, BUT..." now we're told to use "I agree, AND..." because everyone expects an argument after BUT.
I agree with all of that. I have written multiple choice tests where up to 3 answers were correct - they're a great idea, really test you.
I almost said polite and it's so Canadian. It's just that when you're trying to solve a problem and you feel the other person is attacking you, it makes it difficult to listen to them, even painful. You are not negative. The better word choice is passionate.
Part of what I'm trying to say or how I feel is this: At times, realistically, it's okay to be negative. It's just not healthy to stay there and it doesn't make it any easier to come out of there when the confused world stamps that label on you, permanently, for simply being negative at the right times.
New words: It is normal to be gloomy occasionally but don't get caught being pessimistic all the time. Is that better? I get what you mean. Pretending everything is okay when it isn't is bad for you.
We're on the same page.
I'm as happy as a pig in shit you decided to stay. I know it's so easy to be misunderstood when you communicate through writing. Written words don't convey the subtle nuances that facial expressions and tone of voice impart. It's very easy to be misinterpreted. I pretty much agree with everything you've written today except for being yourself. I think you should strive to be your best self because most people have a lot to learn.
That's one of the hardest parts about humor; delivering humor in written form and hoping people know you're joking. Some forms of humor are meant to sting. Some is meant to make me look like an idiot or an asshole. That doesn't mean that's me, and if people don't get the joke, they'll think its me... LOL! Good times.
That part about being myself and whatever, sticking to who I am; it's not a bad thing. Who I am wants to learn.
Poignant how that blue arm is pointing at its blue faces. Agree with you on the balance. Maybe that's the age old enlightenment - balancing the light and dark perfectly. I think we are all born with the scale tipped in one direction. The weighted down end is safe and comfortable, it's so easy to keep the scale unbalanced.
What would those stars be without the darkness that surrounds them? The darkness shouldn't pretend to be a star.
I’m seeing you more inspiring as of late! Great to hear your approach as I always say that I don’t care but will always act like I do so still need to continue adjusting to my thoughts... Keep up the great work as we need more perspective here and given your content, it is important that your voice is heard.
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I think I go through phases and I don't really try to hide it. If I'm feeling like shit, I'm feeling like shit and everyone will know I'm feeling like shit. Same goes for the other direction when no shit is involved. Wow, such an eloquent response.
you got some good lines dude,,, 'accidental psychics', i love it ... keep on keepin' on, i think we need you ... thumbs up !
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I need me more than you folks need me. Whatever the fuck that means. Sounded cool in my head.
haha... another good slogan! should be the t-shirt we give to ALL our politicians, tell it like it is ! (-:
Haha, I cannot fault your logic- we need the metric, we need suffering to know joy, pain to know pleasure and on and on it goes. I am guilty of being the person you described, well minus calling people toxic because that's just shitty haha, but definitely insisting that others should be more positive blah blah. Now I honestly embrace everyone for exactly who they are, because I couldn't be me without the differences. It is the more negatively charged people that give way for the more positively charged people to exist, and vice versa. It is the nature of things, at least on this plane, there MUST be a balance- (awesome visual of standing with your arms out) And it's better, healthier, if we strive to find that balance rather than going too far in one direction or the other.
Glad you didn't give up, always hate to see you go!
I think being honest is on the positive spectrum, even when it stings. Like I said, that positive stuff can hurt. I think people are just fucking confused these days and want to be part of the happy cult. I can be happy, sad, angry, whatever I want. Can't stay in any of those places for long though because that knocks the system all out of whack. Force happiness upon yourself and one tiny misstep can be enough to create a devastating agony. These brain juices are really something.
So true - hang in there man, you are the bomb shit!
I'm starting to think that there are actually people arguing with themselves all over Steemit. Keep on being yourself.
I'm seeing the internal debate. The other day I wrote a post and there I said:
In a sense, that means it's easy to see through all of this "Stay calm, be positive everyone" stuff. What they're really saying is, "I'm worried, but I can't show it." I know this because there weren't any "remain calm" posts until people became worried. I'm saying, stop acting like you're worried, stop pretending you're not worried, and just get on with life. Two posts ago I said being an artist here is rough these days. It's hard for me to carry on, business as usual, because everyone is focusing on these happy happy cheerleading posts, instead of the actual, business as usual content, they'd focus on, if everyone was alright. It's hard to carry on, business as usual, when people are busy only saying they're carrying on, business as usual, but not actually doing it. I am though, or a least trying, even it means I have to struggle while the community finds it's bearings.
"Stay fucking calm!" - LOL
Yeah I think Steemit is looking a real mess and give it about 50/50 odds of pulling through.
And I think Ned is fucking useless and needs to be binned! - Try watching this rubbish for more than 1 minute - what a pile of bollocks...
Dan was even worse and EOS is full on bullshit. But it's safe to say I'm not going to do any posts saying all this because I don't want to get spanked.
I'm crossing my fingers and hoping that rather than having a total meltdown, Seemit gets taken over by people capable of running it properly. But I think it's going to have to go right to the brink for that to happen and we are not at the brink just yet...
A wild ride!
I ain't worried about shit.