You Said What?
Today I had the pleasure of phoning an insurance company to renew my cats' health insurance. The cats are getting on a bit and vets bills can be quite expensive.
The good lady has never quite been a fan of my throw them in the river if they get ill approach to life. My theory being that if they can triumph against their ultimate adversary then they can triumph against anything.
Our current insurance was running out. The company who we had insured them with did not auto-renew their policies and instead made you phone them so that they could try and sell you a million and one other sundry products whilst you dropped by.
As the good lady is heavily pregnant and therefore incapable of initiating a telephone conversation this onerous task fell to me today.
It was a particularly relaxed and cheery chap that answered my call.
Hello, my name is Robert at directrubbish4u, how may I help?
Oh hello, I got a letter to renew my pet insurance.
Ah yes, that is fine. I can do that for you. Can you give me the reference number at the top of your letter.
He seemed very helpful, This might not be so bad I thought.
Ah the letter, sorry. I forgot to bring it with me. Oops.
That's no problem sir. It's the reference at the top left of the letter, it should begin with TPI.
Erm, yes. I get that. I don't have the letter.
Okaaaaay. That is not a problem. Can you get the letter for me?
Hmmm, he said it wasn't a problem exactly like it was a problem. I made a jokey laughing noise.
Afraid not, I am at work. Sorry, I'm a bit of an arse and left it at home.
There was a deathly silence on the other end of the phone. I wondered if we had been disconnected, I mean, that's never happened before...
Anyone there?
Sir? I am afraid that if you continue to use such language I will have to disconnect the call.
He was back. He sounded terse. In fact he sounded like he was dealing with a lunatic, would that be me then?
Oh sorry, you mean when I said I was a bit of an arse?
On the other end of the line, Robert drew a sharp breath.
Sir, I will not warn you again. If you continue to use such language I shall disconnect the call.
Whoah, ok, ok. I was referring to myself incidentally, I wasn't saying you were one.
Sir. Please, can we continue without such language?
I sighed, the fellow was obviously sitting on a dildo or something.
Yes, yes, please do. I shall behave.
Thank you sir, now, please, can you give me the reference number at the top of your letter?
I took a deep breath.
Seriously? How many times do I have to say I don't have the letter. This is becoming a bit arse if you ask me.
Sir, if you continue to use such language I will have to...
Arse.
Click. The line went dead. I couldn't help but smile. It's the little things that make me happy. Maybe I will try again tomorrow? Perhaps with the letter this time.
Job well done if you ask me!!! 😂😂😂
I did feel a glow of happiness after it :0)
I feel your pain Boom. I spent >60mins on the phone to Dell yesterday trying to buy a new charger for my laptop. I got transferred to at least 15 different people and no one would take my $50 and send me a new one.
Seriously, what's with these companies and their crazy new fangled business models that won't sell you what you want?
Oh man, I know!! Like, take the damn cash!!!
There is nothing worse than when they transfer you about and you have to go through the same rigmarole again and again and again!!
So annoying.
Defo. They make you go through each step again and your are like noooooo!
Score another victory for meesterboom. Suggesting you continue without such language....hah! Most laughable suggestion I've heard all day
It was such a harmless aside I thought, lol!
All I can say: LOL. You should have your stand up show, I'm sure it will be great 😀
I've got the face for it :OD
Hahaha Love it! I was on the phone for 2 hour about my mobile this evening and if I had known that such entertainment was available to me while on the call I would have brought out the 'arse' or some escalation.
Now I thought that the term "arse" was strictly a Newfoundland thing. But I guess every country/region has its own arse. "Stunned as me arse," is a clearly defined state of cognition in Newfoundland. Used in doctor's offices and courtrooms across the land. "BuckyDurddle, sure he's as stunned as me arse, b'y." A perfectly acceptable part of the Newfoundland vernacular. I take no offence. Skipper on the cat-line can go "kiss me arse."
No, "arse" is used everywhere. Well, everywhere important like New Zealand, Newfoundland and Scotland anyway. It's only the US who for some odd reason like to use "ass". Personally I think "arse" is a fine sounding, under utilised and descriptive word, and I like to use it as much as possible. Swearing? What pish!
Agreed. Could there be a common thread of under-utilized vernacular in New Zealand, Newfoundland and Scotland? Higher level of cognition is my guess. Don't tell that other crowd or else they'll be stealing our witty quips and putting them in McDonalds commercials. I don't know about you @kiwideb but I'm keeping my arse under wraps.
It's been too cold in NZ to keep my arse anywhere other than under wraps. Though we did have some sun today. Considering we only had two sunny days in the whole of last summer, I'm cautiously optimistic that this year might be better.
Another word that's appreciated more in NZ than other places is "bugger". This ad from Toyota could probably not be played anywhere else.
Excellent, I thought that arse was a primarily Scottish or British thing and qs unrecognisable anywhere else. Thats fab to know it is a far reaching word.
It is the same here though, it is very tame, you can fall on your arse and all manner of nice decriptive things that need that little punch.
YOu will have to remember the arse in future for your next epic call, not that you want one!
You should make a poll about this issue.
Let democrazy decide.
Nah , just call without , so much more fun. :-)))
ps: I'm pretty sure that guy worked before at my former internet provider !
I think there might be lots of those guys working all over the show. Everytime I phone somewhere I promise myself it will be different and it never is!
One day you might be lucky , same chance as winning the lotery.
Lol, one day :0)
Hahahahah yes do try again with the letter and keep me in the loop .....hahahaha
Lol, I did! It went much better this time!
Great ...haha
Okay, now I am curious, how much is cat insurance? And what a weird way that policy works! The whole company sounds like an arse.
Ours is 12 quid a month for two cats. Covers the vets bills. Quite handy!
You should here my husband with these calls, he starts off giving all the info then he says I presume you want my bloodgroup as well and he gives it to them. They never think it is funny, but I love it as I know he is going to do it when he starts.
Hehe, I will remember that. I do like to upset them a tad ;0)
What?? Why!? That is the only way to help anyone out! By God, even Charles Darwin was quoted as saying such! I'm blaming it on the hormones, dude. Don't take it against your wife.
Robert really needs to learn some context, but yeah I kind of get how colorful language could be used as an excuse. It would've been better if he just presented other alternatives to renew though, instead of sounding like a broken record. Since this was posted yesterday, were you finally able to renew this today?
I renewed it yesterday. It all went swimmingly well. I've even made a couple of jokey dear words to the lady and she laughed. Oh how some people are would up really like dear Robert!
I bet Robert was listening in on the call teary-eyed. Missed your chance, buckeroo!!
He will probably be waiting in a bush outside my house tonight ;0)
I bet he did! With snacks in hand, too.