Thursday's With Uncle Boom #7

Today I availed myself to the docks to meet an old friend Barnaby Fotheringham, a prince of a man despite having eyes like a dog's testicles. He was looking to build on the sea front and had purchased the warehouse that we now looked upon. It was in quite the dilapidated state it must be said.

We picked our way through some debris to get a closer look. Barnaby blew out a splendid plume of smoke from his pipe.

Hmm, will have to tear the whole thing down of course. Start from scratch.

I agreed, the place was a tip. As we moved closer to it, Barnaby yanked at my sleeve.

Bloody hell man, what is that?

I looked at the misshapen lump that we had narrowly avoided treading upon. It moved slightly. Barnaby poked it with his stick.

Is it some kind of sea otter?

I looked more closely.

Don't think so old fellow, I think it's a beggar in a blanket.

Nonsense, it's a bloody sea otter.

I'm quite sure it's a beggar in a blanket, look at its eyes.

A beggar? A beggar in a bloody blanket? It's a bloody sea otter and it's on my land. Quick man, fetch me some fire.

He was an astute fellow Barnaby, you could always count on him to solutionise a problem. I fetched my waterproof matches from my pocket.

There you go old chap, these should do.

Barnaby quickly set the sea otter and it's blanket ablaze. I pursed my lips in disapproval at the thing's screams.

It's a bad business this, all that noise. What say you to a brandy?

Barnaby concurred and we moved on to the billiards club where we smacked some balls together over some hot brandy.

Later that evening I puffed on my pipe and fired up the pooter. It had been a productive day but I knew that I was not yet done. After all, today was the day I stretched my hands out to my fellow Steemians in need. Let them not drown in dismay nor sink in silence, for today is my ever solid

SpamFarmer1: Hallo! Komt u uit Nederland? Ik heb onlangs lid geworden en zou het waarderen uw begeleiding

Uncle Boom: What the fuck is that? Is this writing? Are those actual words? That last one... Does that mean gelding? Gelding!? You insult me in a barely human tongue? Take you and your satanic verse to bloody fuck you silk purse of a man.

Whatever next?

SpamFarmer2: which coin to buy for short term?

Uncle Boom: Not even a bloody hello?

SpamFarmer2: Hello. How did you get started in crypto?

Uncle Boom: I met your fucking mother and she drove me to drink, I had to find a way to pay the bills and crypto seemed easiest. Now beat it, you rude sea otter before I get the matches out.

Well, another brandy is in order I think, to celebrate some splendid advisements. Good day to you my effervescent readers. I do hope to see you again next week.

If you need help and you have a problem please don't hesitate to kick my barn doors in on the chats. Your anonymity is assured. Because...