The Pox
I had just sat down at my desk in work, coffee in hand when my phone rang. I answered hello with my usual handsome baritone. A voice on the other end squawked
What?!? Who? Where? Why!
It was the good lady. Our daughter had been complaining of an itchy back and when she went to check it she saw the unmistakable signs of Chicken Pox.
I immediately grabbed my coat and headed for the exit in a blind panic. A dullard got in my way I barged him to the ground shouting MEDICAL EMERGENCY!!
The streets outside were thick with the daily smog and I could barely see a few feet in front of me. An old woman crouched on some filthy sail-cloth near the side of the road begging for spare change. I wrinkled my nose disapprovingly.
The clattering of hooves indicated the approach of a carriage. I pursed my lips and let forth a piercing whistle. The carriage pulled to a halt.
There was a large puddle between me and the door of the cab. I hurriedly shoved the beggar into mud and then used her as a stepping stone to avoid dirtying my fine leather shoes.
I barked my address to the driver..
I added for good measure.
The grime encrusted gremlin of a driver whipped the horses to a fine lather. I believe there were some guttural growls from the miserable fellow, perhaps an attempt at conversation? I refused to be drawn. One does not commune with the lower classes except out of dire necesstity such as those times you need to squeeze the badger.
In no time at all we arrived at my residence. The driver held out a grubby paw. I slapped it with my cane and then cracked it over his head as a life lesson to the wastrel.
Kicking the door open I breezed past the maid, throwing my cape expertly onto the coat rack. A brisk five minute walk bought me to my daughters rooms.
I strutted in, after all a gentleman should never skulk in his own manor.
The nanny was fussing around with hot towels. I found her to be distasteful and kicked her in the arse whillst shouting
Cradling my daughter in my arms I sobbed manfully.
Take my strength little wing take it and heal thine self!!
Perhaps that is how the ladies (and in this, I include the men) I work with, seemed to picture a reasonable reaction would be.
In reality the good lady phoned with the news and I sighed. Lordy, what a pain in the chuff. So I finished work early and arrived home with medicine and a 16 inch four cheese pizza.
My jubilant family carried me around the room several times on their shoulders with an exuberant joy then we got stuck in to the pizza.
That is how you do it!
:O)
I'm pretty sure they were carrying the pizza around and not you!
May the little one have a speedy recovery.
Dash it, you have seen right through me!! :OD
Ok, I'm stumped, I tried googling this and could find no reference to this phrase. Please tell me, what does it mean?
Indulging in the naughty naughty with the hairy denizens that live below the stairs (the servants) :OD
Hahahahaha!
What size super cape do you wear?
I have only two words for you: colloidal silver.
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😄😇😄
Good grief, I had heard of silver but didn't realise there was such a thing you could buy!! I am intrigued.
Obviously my cape is a neat waist length affair. Well, at least my day cape is!
My understanding of Chicken Pox is that it is a viral infection?
Although I have not personally used it against "The Pox," I believe it ought to be marvelously effective.
I hope your night cape blooms out in glorious silver waves against the moonlit sky! ;)
Yes, a horrible virus that we pretty much all have. I am going to look into it more! (The silver thing)
Haha I see what you did there!! :0)
I would suggest putting some in a spray bottle and spraying the affected areas several times a day...
A very good idea
My first time reading any of your posts. I can't even tell you how much I. LOVE. SARCASM. Following you @meesterboom!
Wayhay!!! That is excellent. Cheers!
Its human to sob sometimes and show emotion. Good post as usual, wish you success
It is indeed, a manful sobbing of course :OD
with lots of love in it isnt it? great guy
I couldn't agree more!
amen to that, thanks
Yes, I like the medicine and 16 inch four cheese pizza ending better. Good job.
Yes I thought so too! When I mentioned it in work the reaction I received was ridiculous. I was like, hey, calm down. It will be ok!
My brother got a very weak case when he was young.
Ended up getting them twice lol
Man, it's far better to get a bad case then! I didn't tenner if I had them. Cue a call to my mum.
Mum, did I have chicken pox when I was young?
I don't know son, did you?
Sigh
Lol. Oh mom!
I know, I was like fucking hell, seriously!!
Is she single?
Haaaaahaaahahahaaaaaa!!
Nope! She is taken!!
Dang.
LOLZ, she is paying a tad too old ;0)
:0p
Would you believe that I got chickenpox at the tender age of 18...I was working in Boots the Chemists up in Sauchiehall Street, I still fondly remember the oh so cutting Glasgow banter that my 18 year old self received when I came back covered in scabby scratch marks ;-)
Haha, I can imagine. 18, are you sure it wasn't the actual pox!! ;0)
You, sir, are a literary Mozart! at this rate, you will be retired by Christmas.
Keep it up ;)
Lol, I like that turn of phrase very much! Cheers man!!
not a good day is it
Nah, that's true. However there was pizza and getting away early. Silver linings and all that!