The Dealer

Today I became a dealer. A dealer you cry in horror? Let me explain.

It's no secret that I like to spread the good word of steemit and crypto in general since becoming a convert at the start of last year. A couple of months ago I wrote of a situation where one of my fellow chumeroos in the workplace wanted to get a hold of some Bitcoin.

Here in the UK, one of the easiest ways to get Bitcoin is to go to a site called Bittylicious. That was the advice I gave and I had heard nothing since.

Until today...

Alright Boom Dawg!

An overly cheery chap pulled up a chair next to my desk and wheeled in until our knees were almost touching.

My top lip curled in distaste. To begin with, touching another fellow's knees is simply not cricket unless of course you have sunk several gins and embarked on a game of lady garden, schmaidy garden.

I chewed my pen thoughtfully and fixed him with a look.

Yes, I am alright. How are you?

Am great mate, great, cheers.

I sniffed.

And what can I do for you?

Well, mind you said about that site tae buy bitcoin.

Bless the soul, he was incapable of speaking with proper words but this is often the way with the gutter folk.

Bittylicious, yes. How did that work out? Did you buy ten bitcoins?

I gave a good old chortle, his previous statement that he would maybe buy ten or so still cracked me up.

I couldnae buy any, it was mental, kept asking me for hunners of stuff. Stuff aboot wallets and that.

In his quaint Glaswegian vernacular I do believe that he was trying to tell me that he was incapable of filling out some simple information in a web form.

There was a pregnant pause.

And you are telling me all this because...

He looked sheepish, in fact if he looked any more sheepish he would have sprouted fleecy wool and started baa'ing alluringly at me.

Have you got any?

What a coarse thing to ask.

I may have some yes.

Can you sell us any?

Hmmm.

Was this what I was becoming? A dealer. Selling my wares on street corners. Maybe giving people some shitcoins for free to get them hooked before luring them on to the big beefy itself?

Well, when in Rome...

How much are you wanting to spend?

Aboot fifty bucks. How much can I get for that?

I made a derogatory farting noise and pulled out my phone.

I can send you 0.014 for it. Thats me keeping fifty pence.

He looked perplexed, scratching his head he spoke slowly.

Wait, zero point zero one four? Is that all?

Take it or leave it chummy boy.

He pulled his phone out and did a bit of googling of his own. On seeing that I wasn't swindling him he grudgingly accepted. I directed him to download the mycelium wallet. He eagerly did so. His dream of becoming a bitcoin playa edging ever closer. He opened the wallet.

Right, I'm ready.

I am sure he was. There was just one more thing however.

Ok, where's the fifty quid?

Oh right, aye of course here you go.

Grudgingly he handed me his greasy fiat. I scanned the QR code on his mycelium wallet and handed it back.

That's you. Give it half an hour or so.

Half an hour?

He sounded doubtful, perhaps he worried he was being scammed.

Yeah, the transaction has to confirm... Oh and one more thing?

I pushed my head close to his and murmured

You're my wife now

I giggled as he got up and left huffing with indignation.