in life •  last year 


No. You. Don't.

Said El Marron loudly whilst glaring at me.

I smirked. Looking about, I could see the others around me trying not to laugh as well.

Yes. You. Do.

I stated equally as loudly.

El Marron reared up like a cockroach before a particularly pretty pebble.

There's no need for ANYONE to own more than three pairs of shoes!

He bellowed. A spectacularly foamy white froth flecked the side of his mouth as if he had fellated a spaniel to completion.


On this matter, we shall agree to disagree. That ok?

El Marron hissed in annoyance then stamped away muttering about weegies.

Charlie the Red sidled up to me.

I thought he was going to explode?

Not yet Charlie me old muckeroon. Maybe soon.

I grinned and waltzed off to plug some more PC cables in.


It was the end of the first week working in the new office Callisto.

I had had a bloody fantastic week. You can hardly call crawling about under desks plugging in wires real work and yet here I was doing that very thing.

It was hard not to happily strut about like a peacock with a carrrot up its himjiminy at times.


I had to pretend of course that I was hating every minute of it lest El Jefe banish me back to Glasgow where I would have to do some real work.

Besides the joy of not really having to think for a couple of weeks I had found a new pleasure.

It was teasing El Marron.

I simply couldn't help myself. His thickly accented east coast voice sounded like a big shit that was on fire. When he got angry, even more so.

I had quickly found out that the easiest way to make him angry was to politely disagree with him. He had the oddest of opinions, so it wasn't hard.

Today it was shoes.


We had just had a bit of a coffee break and he had stridden up, all brown trousers and bushy hair. Myself and one of the dudes were talking about our plans for lunchtime. I had said I was going to buy a pair of trainers.

El Marron butted in.

A man only needs three pairs of shoes.


I replied quizzically.

His face turned slightly red and he spoke more slowly.

A man only needs three pairs of shoes.

Shite. I think I have loads.

I had scoffed.

His eyes had bugged out his head slightly.

Loads, are ye mad?!?!


I nodded.

Obviously. What makes you think you only need three?

He growled, as if I was scratching his wife's back just above her tail.

One pair for work. One for lounge wear and one for the garden of course!

He looked about at everyone attempting to garner support. As if what he had said was not the most fucking mental thing in the world.

Well, I need more.

I stated grandly.


And so we had found ourselves arguing over whether I needed more shoes.

Later, as I was crawling about under a desk, someone approached and cleared their throat.

I popped my head out. It was El Jefe.

Have you been winding up El Marron about his shoes?

He said with a tired sigh.

Yes indeed, why? Is he still going on about it?

El Jefe hunkered down on his knees.

Yes he is. Could you stop winding him up please?

Sure boss.

I answered back with a sunny smile.

El Jefe trotted off, satisfied he had defused a shoe'y situation.


Later at lunchtime as I headed out to buy the very items which seemed to be causing so much contention, I passed the kitchen area where a few people were sitting having their lunch.

El Jefe was sitting with El Marron chatting.

El Jefe? Answer quick! How many pairs of shoes do you actually own?

I barked.

He looked up distractedly.

What, I don't know, lots?

El Marron rounded on El Jefe, spluttering indignantly.

Lots? What do you mean lots? A man only needs...

I walked on with a smile on my face and a spring in my step.

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This Brownie looks like a person that needs to be right always...Three pair of shoes, what is the difference if You have 4 and I have 10 ? These persons can be manipulated easily as they get angry and nervous soon...What I don't understand is what is the point in being nervous about un-important things and being right all the time ? What will change that, except that it will feed the ego? But who has seen good from Ego-feeding ?


He is very regimented. It is truly odd. I don't think it matters of you have one pair or ten!!


Yeah, what matters is that besides anything, you had good week with cables & desks 🙌


Hehe, definitely!!! :0)

I love it. Dude is making a big deal out of something that has absolutely nothing to do with him. Mind your own business big mouth!! Stirring the pot just as you walked out was perfect. LOL If he is still talking after lunch maybe he will get a shoe up the arse.


I was thinking a shoe in the mouth!! The bosses were noticeable by their absence this afternoon... A Friday afternoon. How unsuspicious!!

One pair to clean up dog poop in the backyard. (Not to be worn indoors)
One pair to walk the dogs in the morning
One pair to walk the dogs in the evening (in case it rained in the morning)
One pair for work
One pair for the gym
One pair for ....

Don't get me started on the number of pairs of Crocs I own. I even have ESD safe crocs that I can wear while fixing electronics.


Exactly. You have as many as you need for many different things! I have stacks but it didn't mean I wear em all the time. It's madness!!


But ...

My wife owns more. So I have the right to complain that she has too many pairs of shoes.



That is all inviolable right of man!!

What a strange way of thinking of Mr. Marron, maybe it is because he is an austere person, who wants to live with pairs of shoes ?. It is true that there is nothing worse than arguing with a man who politely discusses you, his own education takes you out of the scheme.
Excellent narrative dear friend Brown.
I wish you a beautiful nights


A great night to you my friend!

One thing I have learned is that there is no arguing with madness :OD

My daughter @alishi will agree with you - she has been shoe crazy since she was small - If I ever win the lotto she will just want to go on a shoe shopping spree. Look at you being the stirrer with the big spoon upsetting the Scots :) The way some speak intrigues me - it is like a foreign language.


Your daughter is @alishi!?! I totally did not realize!

Hehe, I like a bit of spoon stirring ;0)


Yes my one and only - my husband is the same - He likes to stir and then sit back and butter cannot melt in his mouth


Haha, its such fun!!

Interesting that this guy is so concerned with how many pair of shoes one needs. Bet he's fun to be around! Lol


It's a strange strange thing. There are other strange subjects too. It's wildly funny!

agitator I believe is what you are known as at work. Am I wrong? :)


You might be right ;0)

Put on new shoes in a beautiful weekend


It's always worth it!

Oh yes! That is how you do it!! Hahahaaa!
Glad you're having a good time me boom!


I try my best to turn a situation into an advantage! :OD

I vote you wear odd shoes to work tomorrow and when he asks why, just say you had too many shoes to sort through to find a single pair! Then take cover under a desk as his head might explode at this point lmao


Work on a Saturday!?! Now that is just taking things a step too far ;0)


Haha oh yes! I seem to have lost a day somewhere... xD

You are a st disturber of the first water! 3 pairs? Madness! What would he do if he met Imelda Marcos? And to quote the lady "I did not have three thousand pairs of shoes, I had one thousand and sixty."


I think he would melt into a big fizzy puddle if he met her!

Hahahahahahah!!!! I don't know this kind of person exists lols caring about how many pairs of shoes each person can wear that is 3. And then, you teased him even further when you jumped into the conservation with El Marron and El Jefe. Don't be so bad, meesterboom! Upvoted!


Life isn't funny if you can't be a little bad ;0)

It is already visualized that many situations and interesting episodes will be generated in the new office Callisto. At least, apparently, it has been a de-stressing week for BoomDawg ... Well, the bosses of higher rank, sometimes they touch on topics that do not make much sense and where they think they are absolutely right ... You have to learn to have them patience, because they have the power to hurt us. Do not press it much.
Well, I have five pairs of shoes, but I almost always use only two; that is, I do not agree with El Marron either.


Yup, he is setting in so many counts. No limits I say!

Marron is a trendy minimalist, as TED talks and illuminati thought to the hypster millennial crowd. Now go back home and throw away everything XD


Haha, he is. I like to keep everything and make stuff!!

I think I share the same "Guilty shoe pleasure". Good to read it is not only a privilige for the ladies ;)


It sure isn't! I love em! Hehe!

jajaja historia bastante loca.

Si me preguntas, respondo 4 pares de zapatos.

  1. Vestido, para ir a fiestas elegantes
  2. Deportes, que utilizo para correr y hacer ejercicio
  3. Botas, que uso cuando voy de excursión
  4. los normales que son los que uso todos los días.

Lol, you and he might get on like a house on fire! :0D

The things some people get worked up over o_O

That shitstir at the end was classic.



I do like to stir it up just a tad!

Some people are just so fun to wind up... Its just too easy!


I like the easy ones!!!

Hahahaha! Boom, you are so bad, you're brilliant!

A spectacularly foamy white froth flecked the side of his mouth as if he had fellated a spaniel to completion.

... omg, I almost fell off my chair! LMAO!


Lol, I thought it an apt description!!

This man is a mean son of a ....shoemaker. 3 pairs??? What madness is this he speaks of?? And to be worked up if someone else do not agree - weird...


He gets very worked up!


Such a waste of time - there are much more interesting things we can spend our energy on than worrying about what other people do


Exactly, real things. Things that actually matter!

I was thinking of BoomDawg when I posted this.

I could only imagine the fine choice of words he would have had he fallen for this. (Of course, he never would fall for it, he's BoomDawg)


Lol, I always wonder at the people falling for these ones!

I was on a weekend jaunt so missed your daily posts so just catching up. Love you making fun of El Marron!


Hehe, I love doing it!!! :0)

I resteem your excellent writing post


I hold you in the highest regard

You always post strange things.Which attracts me.

complete shoe collection

I barked? :D OMG

Ahahahahaha!!! I should definitely try this out some time! It's one thing to be preachy, it's another to butt in on someone's shoebiz. If that sets El Marron to a tizzy, then I imagine it doesn't take a lot to wind him up. No wonder you're having a blast there, bro-diatrist!

... El Jefe banish me back to Glasgow where I would have to do some real work.

Yet, you asked a dangerous question! I love it! Haha!!


Amma risk taker! :0D

Hahahahahahhaha.... This got me laughing. I mean, I was wondering I said I knew boom was up to something from the moment he gave a sunny smile. But I didn't expect that. Lol.

Now, you passed the trouble on to El jefe.... Haha haha..... I wonder if he won't send you back to Glasgow.

I love the language of your article, it's real and unique.

And you can bet this time, I worked on what you advised me about the last time.

Thanks for being a tutor and a great writer. Have a marvelous weekend.


Thanks, I hold you have a good weekend too


Thank you sir, I will.