Murduhr

in life •  14 days ago 

IMG-PHOTO-ART-486039930.jpg

Things have been a little slow here of late, so I had me a browse about the posts and comments of the sillier folk of Steemit. For the LOLZ of course

You know who they are, the Rage quitters who don't quit. The ones who quit and insult everyone then come back and get pissed because they burnt their bridges and everyone ignores them. Even the bidbot abusers have their entertaining moments.

I saw one who repeatedly claimed that it was ok to abuse the platform because the system allows it...

Funnily enough when the system allowed him to get downvoted to buggery he went berserk. What an arse.

Anyway, it inspired the following fiction...


I murdered a man today.

It took a while for the police to catch up with me even though I wasn't hiding or anything.

They were quite angry because it was one of those bursty meat murders and they had gotten their shoes all covered in schmoo.

Why?! Why would anyone commit such an atrocity? Who in their right minds could do such a thing?!

They yelled at me after taking me back to their pad.

Why?

I answered with an easy smile and an even easier answer.

Because the system allows it.

They didn't understand of course.

Much later a Sergeant arrived in my room and took his hat off before glaring at me.

This kind of thing just does not happen here. Why? Why would you do this?

He shouted.

There was only one of him and he had obviously decided to be the bad cop.

Because the system allows it.

I explained calmly.

But the system doesn't allow it. Here you are?

He said, trying not to strangle me with his meaty hands.

It did allow it, so I did it.

I said smugly.

But what if we all went around doing it?!

Railed Johnny Copper.

That would be fine because...

The system allows it!

Johnny Copper finished for me.

Yes.

I said, happy that finally Johnny Copper seemed to be getting it.

Johnny Copper smiled. There was something nasty about his smile.

Then he killed me.

It was a spectacularly messy, squelchy murder. His colleagues ran in but they were too late to save me.

OMGZ. JUMANJI?!?!? WHY? WHY HAVE YOU DONE THIS??!

They yelled.

Johnny Copper sat smugly in a sausagey pile of my guts and grinned up with a blood-smeared face at them.

Because the system allows it.

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Good fiction. I think there are always people who take advantage of every system, but do not see the big picture of there actions.

Cheers! It's true. No eye on the prize for the big picture, silly folk!

Buffoonery I say!

And then some!! :0D

You know this brings me to my lovely country South Africa - on paper the system does not allow criminal activity - but in reality murderers and rapers get away, people just start living on a piece of land that do not belong to them, they burn and break and scream and shout. Why??? Because they get away with it..... Sad but true. No fiction

Ouch, that is sad. I have read and heard a bit about the stuff that goes on. It's horrible when honest people aren't safe anymore

Saddest part is that we truly have a wonderful country with awesome people and riches like minerals - but unfortunately our government is more interested in lining their pockets and making the whole country poor - such a pity some people cannot see it and keep on voting for them. We can just hope and pray that somewhere something good will happen and people will come to their senses.

People can be such idiots when it comes to keeping bad governments voted in. It's really annoying

Let's all repeat the mantra.. bow and pay homage... respect... , soothing.., meditating..

'Because the system allows it'

But wait.. doesn't our democratic system allow us to fart in people's faces but only on Mondays?

While it is unwritten... it certainly does my son.., it certainly does...

It does, it really does!! It allows lots and lots of things!

They don't get how lame it is as an excuse!!

If you treat your account as a 'disposable asset', then do feel free to do what you like!
There's piles full of fucked STEEM accounts ain't there?

I think there is, zombie accounts just rolling on!

hahahaha I can actually HEAR YOU saying that title!

and well played ;) Converted into a tale of squelchy substance, like only you can hehe :)

Squelchy mulchy goodness!!

Hehe, that is the way that I say it. Total Scottish!!

So glad this is fiction! I don't know what I'd do if you were actually dead. I guess I'd probably just have to rage-quit and go murder someone.

Also, if you're not aware of the existence of this, I thought you might like to know:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shmoo

Shmoo
The shmoo (plural: shmoos, also shmoon) is a fictional cartoon creature created by Al Capp (1909–1979); the character first appeared in the comic strip Li'l Abner on August 31, 1948. The popular character has gone on to influence pop culture, language, and even science.

Hehe, oh I remember the schmoo!! Was it the new schmoo or something, he could turn himself/itself into all sorts of things. Probably never been used to describe geeky blood muck before! :0D

The shmoo was basically the solution to all world problems. But no, I don't believe it's been previously used to describe geeky blood muck. Congrats, you're the first!

First again!!! Hurrah! Now if only I had one of them pesky shmoo's... I could do with a flashlight!

Perhaps if/when SMTs ever make it past the testnet stage, we can just issue our own SHMOO token and then start pumping out flashlights and shit. Or maybe someone has already done this on Steem Engine.

SO far I think Schmoo token is safe! SMTs ahoy then! :OD

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I would like to read episode 2 of this story.

Because, you know...

It turns out that Johnny Copper had a great reputation throughout the precinct. When he appeared in front of the judge to defend himself. He had a very simple defense.

"Your honor, I've been here for many years. As you can see my reputation (based on number of days appearing at work) is quite high. I have also donated to the State Penal system (SP for short). In fact, I was a very early sponsor of the SP system and started working with it before anyone else was around. ..."

The judge deliberated for a couple of minutes before declaring the verdict ...

" In closing, due to your high SP and reputation ... you are correct the system allows it."

Haha, that is the end result indeed. He got away with it because he is a big fish in this town!! :0D

I really think that is how some of the criminal element are wired. It is like the folks that spend endless time and energy trying to scam instead of simply making content and doing right. It baffles me.

I have often been baffled by the effort that is made into ducking and dodging when it would be easier to be honest!

Everything is fine... as long as the system allows it! I've often heard the phrase: "Don't let what is legal or illegal get in the way of what is right or wrong" It's one of my favorite sentences, and I do think more people should hear it, just because a something is allowed doesn't necessarily make it right, same for something not allowed...

Aye, more that's a proper saying that makes sense. I quite like it myself!