More Boom?

I have always been a chap who is very comfortable in my own skin but since the birth last Saturday of the little tyke, I have found myself even more comfortable. No fact I seem to be becoming more... Well, more Boom like

How can this be? Is it derangement from lack of sleep?

Is it the singing which I seem to be doing incessantly because bizarrely my odd honking voice seems to soothe the little urchin? I do quite enjoy it.

I have no idea.

This afternoon I was sent out to the shops for emergency supplies. Namely chocolate and lots of rags to mop up baby vomit. I parked the car and started walking to the supermarket entrance. I have a spring in my step. In front of me, I notice some little Sparrows hopping madly around a crust of bread.

Hello little Sparrows!!

I found myself singing quite loudly. As I sang, a crow hopped down out of nowhere and starting menacing the sparrows.

Beeeewaare the crow, the bird in black. He's coming for your bread, there's no turning back!!

I sang even more loudly.

Some people getting out their cars looked a little uncomfortable and shot me some odd looks.

Top o' the morning to ya!

I shouted, in a ridiculous Irish accent.

And don't worry, I'm not a fecking eedgit!

They scurried off. Heck, I didn't blame them. Fastening my mouth mentally shut, I trotted off to do the shopping.

I was at the till, congratulating myself for not singing like a stone bonker for the last ten minutes. The lady rang up the shopping and said.

That will be thirty two eighty.

She looked at me and smiled her best, give-us-the-fucking-money-I-hate-myself-and-I-hate-you smile.

Dollars or pounds my lovely?

Eh, whit? Pounds.

Her glare could have killed a Rhino at thirty paces.

Alright alright, don't get your knickers in a twist milove!

I paid and moved on. On my way to the car, I spied a coffee stop. Woot woot!! Flat White for me! I asked for an extra shot too. The chap was either disgusted or super impressed. It was hard to tell through his arsehair beard.

I arrived home, singing like a loon. The good lady appeared bemused.

How many coffees have you had today darling?

I exclaimed.

Ah, bugger..