2 Days Late
Right, that's it. Call the cops. This is beyond ridiculous. In fact it is so ridiculous that I am going to engage a team of top lawyers to sue my unborn child.
Where are you child o' mine?
Two days? Two damn days late. I don't have time for this. I should be drinking champagne on a boat. Or in Da Club wearing a white suit with sunglasses, nodding at random folk.
I accept that due dates are not an exact science but I am starting to feel I have been sold a pup. Is this really the Truman Show? Am I being filmed? Should I go out on to the street and shout
At the sky?
Every day I go into work and every day I get the same questions.
Hey, you're here! No sign of the baby yet?
Or
What are you doing here!!!
Or
Wow, when is it coming?
Well if I had ready access to a crystal ball I might be able to say. Or more likely I would be on a beach being served gin in an exotic glass by a lady with a parrot in her hair having raked in my gigantic lottery win.
My easy going smile is becoming a thin thing. A bitter earthworm masquerading as my mouth, behind which lurks insomnia and madness.
As the day marched on I contacted my good lady.
How goes it chick?
It's good. I am 3cm dilated according to the midwife.
Hmm. Not quite the scene from Raiders of the Lost Ark I was hoping for.
But what does that mean?
I whined, like a little whiny thing whining at the moon.
We just have to wait and see.
Hmmph, wait and see. I will wait and see alright. Why I am gonna... I am gonna...
Hmm.
Wait and see I suppose.
lol good things come to those who wait :) I think the baby has your sense of humour and it's planning to come out on the weekend 😂 😂
Haha, oh lord. You know, I think you will be right there. The cheek of the young lad!! :0D
lool can't blame the poor lad!
Hey guys!! You know I love to answer a comment but struggling to stay logged in. I will answer em all, sorry if it isn't as quickly as normal!!
Yea Steemit is not working very well this last week!
I have noticed an annoying issue when I comment and vote on a reply sometimes one or the other dont go through. Still needs some wrinkles ironed out!!
Yes lots of glitches unfortunately!
It especially sucks when you write a meaningful comment to someone you care about and think you communicated but then it doesn't go through and they think you left them hanging......
I FEEL YA!
Awwww booooo!!! Hissss!!!
We were seven days in the hospital waiting for our wee bundle of joy to make its way out, food luck and enjoy the wait.
On a totally and absolutely unrelated note, every time someone mentions the term FUD in relation to the DDos attacks I can't help but smile and am tempted to tell them. What a fud is in Glasgow... My favorite explanation is from the urban dictionary
Haha, oh I know. I always think exactly the same when I see FUD somewhere. That urban dictionary definition is the best one!
better late than never
as long as they're both okay eh?
perhaps the doc or the doula made a wrong computation?
You know maybe that's it, maybe he ain't late!!
Now, at the risk of getting flagged down, I share with you a public secret...
When my offspring took her time to arrive someone came up to me in the pub, said: "You seem to be a lot here lately, how come."
It was my better half, wanting me to come home, sober. And then I answered: "Well, I do what I am supposed to do, wait for our precious to arrive. But it is taking for ever!"
Then a young woman came along and whispered: "Orgasms..." Filling the air with a smell of alcohol as she slowly passed by like Captn Jack Sparrow.
"Oi! You know I'm still here! Now let's go home, your place is with me, not easy drunk young women..." My cheek really was warmed up quite well by her hand. She always knew how to give me a good slapper when I was in need of one. Like I wrote: she's my better half.
And that magic word orgasms really made me want to go home. Because what better fun way to get our new born out as fast as possible!?
To cut a long story short, my beautifull awesome daughter was born 14 days late.
So I guess that orgasm thing is just a tale. Had lots of them, but it did not help. Then, when efter my little one was born, I told my angel that now was a caring mother too.
And she replied: "No you dumb goof, it was me that was supposed to have them, not you...!"
Ah, now it started to make sense to me.
Hope your little Boom may arrive soon mate!
Just show him/her a nice pint down there, the little one will come soon! :D:D:D
A nice point is always a draw!
Thank you for posting @meesterboom.
Lovely writing......and images...everyone will want one....a parrot that is...
and that line.....
.....My easy going smile is becoming a thin thing. A bitter earthworm masquerading as my mouth, behind which lurks insomnia and madness.....
And the Truman Show....oh what a reminder.....we are...all Truman now....
Oh welll.....btw...now is a good time to contact thedegensloth at Discord...tell him bleujay sent you....he is expecting you.....haha...he said he is a bit slow....however bleujay is sorted and I hope you will be soooon....in more ways than one.
Wishing you and yours all the best....Captain.... ^_^
Oh my, I most certainly will!
We are all Truman now :0) I definitely agree there.
I do think the parrot will be quite the trending thing now ;0)
Quickly got up to date with all your posts - were sidetracked a little - as usual loved every one. Hmmm this little one already has a will of her own. Good luck for the wait - before you know it it is time and then I wish I could say you stress will be gone..... uhm no, apparently we never stop worrying about our kids. Good luck that side
We really do never stop. I know this and am happy!
Thanks for the wishes :O)
Good luck man yeah just try to be patient! 😀 😃 😄 😁 😆 I hope you have a WONDERFUL day!
I sure did and thank you!
Great. By the way, thanks for being an inspiring Steemian in general and connecting on here! 🤡 🤠 😏 😒 😞 I hope you have a wonderful day!
You have a wonderful day too dude!
Thanks I'm at Starbucks now, just had some soup now going home. 😀 😃 😄
Smashing!
What does "Smashing" mean in this context. I am a linguist so I ask these questions often, not always to other people :-)
Smashing as in approval, shortened from that's smashing! ;0)
Lol. I can understand the frustration. But don't worry it is just going to come out alright and at just te right time. It might need something which needs a couple days or a few more maybe and the place its in, is the best place to provide. So yeah! Take it easy and hope it comes out alright.
I know!! I am trying my best to be patient. It's all a bit fraught!
Well, I won't tell you how late my sister @uglysweater went with her first. If two days has you in a twist, trust me, you don't want to know.
Oh no, please don't. I am in a twist alright. I think I am behind quite annoying!