How to stop an Anxiety attack with the help of Steemit - or I HATE SUNDAYS

Hello y'all and be prepared for a different post of mine this time...See it like a diary or something... I rarely do that on social media (at least not anymore) but I felt the need to do it, now, on Steemit, because this anxiety has to stop... As some of you already know, I feel like 'home' in here, so I can open my heart without being scared.

For the sake of knowing me better, let me re-introduce myself! (I think it's the right time, right before the 6month mark...)
My name is Penelope, meanmommy33 - a nickname inspired by @creutzy who was playfully calling me that because of my mean reactions sometimes, plus my current age- or Photography Nomad [also on Instagram], or Penny D. Photo professionally (you can find me with this name on Facebook Pages, Twitter and Pinterest). Yes, I have a huge digital footprint by now... haha...

I am not going to say I was a troubled kid. Because that would be unfair to my lovely loving family. But I've been through stuff (family, health, death, finances...)- just like everybody else. Everyone has their own luggage to carry, past, present or future.
My father was a famous Greek photographer (www.dinosdiamantopoulos.com) and my mother a translator and interpreter at international organizations. So, I got both 'bugs' and became a translator first and then a photographer as well.
But since I was a kid, I was always involved in the arts in so many different ways.
I paint, I write poems and songs, I play the piano and I write a lot. Romantic soul and gypsy heart as I mention at my description here.

I grew up in Athens, where I studied Social Theology, then moved to Paris for 4 years to study Sociology minor History and then did a master's in Economics. Then, after a few back and forth(s) to Athens (and even though my mom still lived in Paris), I decided to move to Rome. Because I always wanted to live in Italy, at least for a bit, since I'm 4th generation Venetian -from Corfu- and speak Italian almost since birth. So there I stayed 3 years and studied Photography properly, since my father passed away and couldn't teach me anymore (even though he was begging me to for many years and I was saying no -typical teen brat....) In Rome though I got tired and I wanted to leave. I still miss the food, the people and the good weather, but I'm far calmer here in Copenhagen -smaller, cuter and calmer.

I've done many jobs here in Denmark, including or not including my skills - the best one being my love for languages. I speak Greek, English, French, Italian, Romanian, some Danish and Turkish, and now learning Chinese. Plus I've done Hebrew and Arabic at uni. I don't know if I'm staying or how long [already 3,5 years - my turning point...] but I love this city. Even the bikes, that I wasn't used to. And of course I met @creutzy here, my boyfriend and fellow Steemian who introduced me to Steemit and Cryptocurrencies, amazing photographer and rare person, with his high class studies, his impeccable English, his beautiful mind (ok I'm not going to go into silly romantic details like his 'beautiful green eyes' ...Oh wait, I just did :P ) with whom I traveled in so many places so far and we still have a long, incredible way to go!
I feel sad that he won't be able to join me in Lisbon. But I'll make sure to make video calls so he can meet every one of you!!! And of course, promote his photography - because, I studied and tried to be a proper photographer, but he seems a born talent so I wouldn't say I'm better in any way (well, 'cause I'm not :P )

Even though my Dad died on a Monday, I never hated Mondays. Because Mondays are a new start, always. That's why on Color Challenge they are RED. I always hated Sundays. This gray. Even when sunny, still gray in my heart. Maybe because it was when my Dad would drive me to my Mom's (my parents were divorced - thankfully no issues there though!), there around 4-5pm,it's the worst of times. This is one of those Sundays. The Sundays that I think 'what am I doing with my life? Who am I?' and all this stupid existential bullshit. Thinking about relationships, friendships... what did I do wrong...Why I don't have a proper full time job all theses years even though I try so hard...

I am a difficult person. I can't deny that. I can be arrogant, hurtful and obnoxious. I am jealous (poor @creutzy...), stubborn and sometimes a bit of a bitch. BUT I'm also very social, I love 'my people' with all my heart - meaning friends, family, boyfriend...I'm open as a book. Very straight and direct. I can't really be a diplomat. I get angry, or sad, or hormonal over nothing. But I'm not a bad person. I can be mean, yes, but who can't?! I am writing all this to avoid a panic attack right now. I am overwhelmed at this very moment, with family issues, financial situation (oh look! The sun just came out! This Steemit therapy works!!!!), job problems, misunderstandings with friends, having to move to a new apartment soon (accommodation in Copenhagen is a pain in the ass)...Sending applications, learning better Danish, Lisbon coming up, expenses, I feel like it's too much!! Good thing I started meditating lately - you actually always feel better when you just BREATHE... Yoga helps too by the way, 'cause it combines breathing and exercising...I might go for a run - oh, who am I kidding, I hate running. Maybe biking or swimming - much better ;)

Anyway, I know this is too long, I doubt most of you will read it, but I felt the need to do it. I wonder if any of you feels the same way and how often if so. I'd be happy to hear your inputs. I thought of it as necessary for Steemians to know me better :)
Enjoy your lives to the fullest and let small things go. I'm wishing you all a great Sunday - I already feel better. Sharing makes it better. No, I am not depressed. I don't know if I ever was, maybe in Rome. I used to be one of the most positive people I knew. And then life happened. But I'm not giving up - I'm still very young to do that!
My moto here is more current than ever Don't forget to smile !!!!

Yours truly ;)
Penelope

Just me...Photo taken by...who else...the one and only @creutzy!