Drastic measures
I won't be online for a few days, after a nervous breakdown followed by a doctors visit today and from what he had to say I have decided to check myself in to a clinic for help with my depression. I need to find answers and to get away from this shitstorm for a few days. For the last week I have been wandering around like a lifeless soul finding shelter in alcohol, before this becomes a habit and I destroy my life I need to regain my mental health and physical as well.
I was going to go straight in today, but I realized that I needed to spend time with the children, Aidan is taking it very very hard. It breaks my heart to think of his smiling motivated face just over a week ago. Talking about all the things that we like, now he is just quiet. I have tried to talk to him but he just looks back at me sad. I told him to be strong and not to stop coding and posting.
Somewhere between 10-15 days I think will be the time that I will be gone, the worst part being that I wont be able to see my children during that time, I just had them with me and the three of us just sat and hugged on the sofa until it was time to go home for them.
When I return I will be better and stronger than ever and I owe it to the kids and myself to do nothing else.
Thanks again a million times for all your encouraging comments, every chance I could to go online I would read them sometimes over and over again. I learned a few things and got some insight into what I might be missing in this strange puzzle which I cannot place.
Some of you really went all out with helping me, I still cannot grasp at the amount of good hearted loving people that are here on Steemit. Special Mention to @barrydutton and his very generous post idea.
See you soon
Lorenzo
You're doing the right thing in getting help, it may take you away from family for a short while but you will return better able to cope and deal with your recovery.
Thanks, I hope this is the right thing I am not completely convinced but the alternative is not something I want to live through on my own. For the first time in my life I feel unable to pull through with my own two legs
At the start of last year my wifes mental health crashed, she has a long term condition and I had to get the crisis team in before she ended up seriously hurting herself. She was signed in as a day patient at a nearby mental health hospital. It made a massive difference in lifting her out of the dark place she had fallen into. Just remember mental health is an illness like any other and sometimes you need the right help and treatment.
In two weeks when you come back you will feel better and be much stronger for knowing you made the right choice.
Just do it. Do it for yourself first and then for everyone else. Your children will be fine because they know that you will ultimately be fine.
Best of luck. I think you are brave for seeking help. It's pretty clear that you are ultimately putting the wellbeing of your kids first. Huge respect.
Imagine a trampoline and you'll bounce back from this. ;-P
P.S. sorry bout previous comment(s) regarding the thing that does the thing. I'm starting to think myself that it's a pyramid scheme or something similar.
I e-mailed them and got no responses, and now my account shows me some version I see nowhere else and that I cannot afford, so I'm waiting to see if I've been had. Again, sorry. Didn't mean to put a path in front of you that was unsafe to walk. I didn't know, myself.
Namaste.
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