Well worth your time or not?
What do you do when you have so many things to say to someone but you never find the proper moment? Before you answer: "Call or send a text message!" read more. What if having a phone call conversation is not what you had in mind? What do you then?
You write down what you had to say and send an email? What if that person doesn't uses email or any other form of modern communication? No Whats App, Skype, SnapChat, Viber or anything else!
Yes, there are still people who live outside the Internet era, who use the smartphones without having a dozens of apps downloaded and who get their news from reading the newspapers.
What about when distance itself is an issue and writing a letter is not an option because you want to have concrete answers and facts as soon as possible?
All that is left is to have a real conversation. The old-fashioned way: face-to-face. That way everything can be said and confronted. Any hypothesis can be analyzed and dismantled. Any sentence coming out of one's lips can be scrutinized while keeping an eye on the facial cues of the interlocutor.
When not even that is possible, how do deal with it? How do you manage your emotions? How long does it take until you finally make up your mind and decide what exactly is worth your time and what isn't?
Throughout our lives we meet so many people that we connect with; some we get to cherish and miss, others to keep at keep at distance. What are your criteria in selecting who is worth your time?
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I think you pose a great line of questions. In my life, i have come to a point in which I look at most decisions in terms of happiness. If the time invested in trying to communicate with someone is overall negative when compared to the outcome of the communication, then it is not worth it.
For example: I generally have difficulty with expression and would prefer to simply give up rather than expending the energy to make sure my thoughts are perceived correctly. However, I find that I experience immense happiness from just talking with my wife. Therefore, I will gladly expend more effort than normal to ensure she knows how I feel.
I guess that when it comes to the loved ones we need to take extra time. Thanks for stopping by and sharing your thoughts!
I had this sad epiphany a couple of years ago that I was putting way more effort into most of my friendships than those friends were putting into me. I had friends that I loved hanging out with, who I had known for years, but at least 90% of the time, if I texted them or called them, they either didn't pick up or respond, or they flaked on me. I also realized that none of those people ever called or texted me. I decided that I would stop making contact with anyone who either didn't respond to me or flaked more than three times in a row, and to let them know that I had done so next time I saw them. Not in a mean way; in a polite way. I figured that maybe other friends of theirs felt the same way and never let them know.
I've stuck to that, and there have been a couple of times recently that I've run into old friends and let them know, "Hey, I am so happy to see you and I love your company, but I want to let you know, just to be transparent, that I stopped reaching out because it didn't seem that you were reciprocating the amount of energy I was putting into our friendship. I figured that if our friendship was important to you, that you would reach out to me, but so far you haven't. I want to let you know that I value you as a friend and I would love to see you again, but it's going to have to be your decision to see me." So far all of those people have given me the "Oh my God, I'm so sorry! I'll text you to hang out soon!" and never have.
I was very sad at first to realize that quite a few of my friends ended up falling into this category and that they didn't even seem to notice I was gone. It made me feel unloved and like I wasn't valued, and slightly pathetic, in a way. Like I wanted to be around people more than they wanted to be around me. But over time I realized that the friendships I kept were much more fulfilling and happy, even if there were fewer of them, and that I felt much more valued. It was a good decision.
I can totally relate with this. I used to go out of my way just to make sure my friends were fine, without thinking I was draining my energy or that they were always "takers" and not a single time "givers".
Like you said, it was a said epiphany, but a healthy choice to let them go and focus only on those few connections which were real and true.
Lol this post is really something. It reminds me of a joke that a particular place in Africa get a monday's paper the nextweek......😂😂😂😂 so at times we just do stuff and hope we took the right decisions . It all on hope nothing more. Jah bless ..keep it skainking (am in the wind)
I heard that joke ;0) thanks for stopping by!
Very interesting post. I find myself going through conversations in my head all the time. I think about how it is going to go and how I will respond. I also have started to learn to wait a while before I respond to emails. This gives me the opportunity to decide if what I want to say is worth my time or if it is just going to cause problems!
I also wait a bit before answering to emails or deciding something.
It is truly hard sometimes! :)
'What are your criteria in selecting who is worth your time?'
I would say common interests, friends and family. My mum does not use the internet, or a mobile phone because she chooses not too. As you say, some people don't and that leaves face-to-face conversation.
I would add people that make me laugh or be positive to the criteria above. ;0)
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Thank you!
UV rssteem
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I like and prefer the face-to-face interaction . better relationships come from it
I agree, though unfortunately is not always possible.
The older I get, the more I look for "genuine" everything in a person. I don't waste my time with those who play games, are manipulative, emotionally stunted, and especially negative. And I like to be around people who are easy-going, light-hearted, and 'fun' (which I know comprises a lot of different things); people who don't take life too seriously and can see the good in most things.
Truthfully, the older I get, the less people I want or need around me, but that might just be because I want to selfishly spend most of my time with Brian. Before him, when I was single, I liked to be around people a lot, but my criteria was the same.
Throughout the past eleven years I turned way more selective than before when it came to friendships. After a two serious "cleanses" I ended up with a handful of true friends, all spread across the world.
That's the way to do it @lymepoet! "Cleanses" is a much nicer choice of word; I was going for "cull" haha