Greetings loyal followers. It turns out that the chemical you call "bleach" is incredibly bad for one's eyes. I attempted to cleanse mine with that chemical after viewing several images of a disgusting wookie youngling watching a hologram do a Life Day dance. It was truly horrifying. If you want to see that which cannot be unseen, please feel free to see my last transmission located here.

After taking the last several days to recover, I am finally able to respond to the final two pieces of Sauravrungta's transmission called "6 Radical Ways the World Will Change In Your Lifetime".

But first a word from our sponsor.

Running an Empire can be really stressful... especially when your boss is an utter moron and the only thing your underlings can hit is the floor after they get shot in their useless armor by an untrained farm boy. That's why I use Steemit. After you've had a long day of dealing with complete incompetence... nothing relaxes you better than emerging yourself in some nice Steemit.

todaloos

Steemit... get yourself some today!

My earlier transmissions dealt with your galaxy's pathetic artificial intelligence, robot technology, currency, and use of holograms. It is now time to cover the last two technological "advancements" your planet's spokesman, Sauravrungta, predicts.

#5 Driverless, Electric, and Flying Cars

And...?

I'm waiting for the huge advancement. "Driverless"? Yeah we call that "autopilot" and basically every single vehicle we have has that. Electric cars? What you guys haven't discovered Rhydonium yet? That stuff is so cool. It looks like liquid chrome when it spills on the ground. There is a minor problem with this fuel. It tends to destroys skin if it comes into contact with it... but that's not my problem. I don't have any skin! And finally, the cherry on top... flying cars. Oooooooo how exciting. Let me show you something about flying cars.

Lucasfilm

You see that? There are like 10,000 flying cars right there. Not a single one of them hits the others. Pretty sweet huh? Riddle me this geniuses... how are you going to control flying car traffic? Let me guess, you have no idea. You should probably figure that one out before attempting this.

Even our poor "moisture farmers" have flying cars (By the way, "moisture farming" is so fake. They are just deadbeats living off government welfare. What's next, "air farmers"? Please!)

20th Century Fox

We even have flying motorcycles.

20th Century Fox

They are so well designed that stupid cannibal teddy bears can operate them.

Actually, I think I've had enough of this. We have these...

20th Century Fox

Does your planet have those?

No?

Check mate!

#6 The First Person To Reach 150

150 what? Centuries? If so, that would be impressive.... most impressive.

Clearly we have you dominated in this area as well.

Let's start with this goblin looking thing.

20th Century Fox

Is it hideous? Yes.

Is it too small to really affect anything in the world? Obviously. (Clearly he should be judged by his size.)

However... that wrinkly old muppet is 900 years old. That little monster is six times older than what you are shooting for. Way to set the bar really high.

And then there is me....

Lucasfilm

Now it may be true that I am more machine than man now... but what a man! My complete awesomeness is very well known. After that procedure, I'm going to live for at least another 850 years. Nothing can stop me. It's not like I'm going to get struck by lightning... repeatedly.

If you doubted our total superiority before, I present to you Darth Plagueis.

Overmental

This guy is so amazing, powerful, and wise that he could use the Force to create life. He has such a knowledge of the dark side, he can even keep people from dying.

Game,set, and match.

Although to be fair, your planet seems to have its own version of him...

MTV and J. J. Sedelmaier Productions, Inc.

Perhaps your planet is not as weak as I had thought.

Below you will find two ways to support the Empire. I strongly suggest you do both.