Inner Thoughts Of An Introvert | Myers Briggs, self reflection, and a midnight post.. oh my

in #life5 years ago (edited)

Anyone who opened this looking for a scientific look at the Myers Briggs test will be utterly disappointed, as this will be my normal coffee fueled ramblings... just a fair warning.

A few months ago I decided to live my life a bit different than I had before, to jump out of my comfort zone in an attempt to discover who I am, get comfortable in my own skin and try to live life to the fullest. I called it My Unexpected Journey - A Year Of Firsts and it has been quite a journey so far.. which I have shared here on Steem as part of the deal. I have a 6mth update coming, but I am a horrible blogger soooo.. I will finish it eventually.

Today though I want to just touch on a simple personality test that sort of took the journey to a new level.

The Myers Briggs Personality Test

While I have taken a few random personality tests in my life, I have never really given them much thought, as they seemed like nothing more than reading a horoscope in the back of some trashy magazine.

So a couple months ago when a friend here on Steem randomly told me I needed to take some test, I rolled my eyes and answered the questions... and then laughed out loud as I read the results.. because the were so spot on it was a bit scary. I was immediately fascinated and really started to try and soak it all in.

Here I had been spending a few months working on being more open, real, less guarded and making myself do things that I wasn't comfortable with (like these ridiculous photos of myself all over the damn chain now), in this process of forcing myself to get out of my shell.. therefore making me more comfortable in my own skin...

but all along, hadn't really focused on The Why these were things I had always struggled with... it wasn't even anything that had really crossed my mind.



Here I was just forcing myself to make changes to grow as an individual, which was going pretty well, but the day I sat and read an article and said to myself.. "Holy hell I do that" on every paragraph was sort of a turning point for me. To be able to look at yourself, the way you do things, and perhaps why... is sort of an amazing thing. It allows you to understand yourself (as well as others) on a level that maybe you never were able to before.

That right there, understand yourself… was a pretty interesting moment for me. I never realized I hadn't understood myself before... I always have been one who enjoys self reflection, tries to practice self growth constantly and has a inner desire to understand my fellow humans.. but all the while, I didn't even understand myself.

So what about this test?

Oh yes, I ramble. With the results I have been learning to understand myself more, as well as others, and its acted as a bit of a reminder for me.. to be self aware.

Why bring this up now?

Well this last week I sort of found myself spiraling a bit.. I was being pulled in many directions, felt as if I couldn't fix everything, had criticisms that felt unfair coming at me from so many angles I couldn't keep track... and I responded in an emotional way... and well, it wasn't some of my best moments. I am an extremely flawed human being remember?

Anyways, after recognizing the spiral... I took a step back.. ah self reflection is so much fun, even when you don't like what you see looking back at you. And remembered the first quote that the friend who had suggested the test directed me to;

Mediators will focus their attention on just a few people, a single worthy cause – spread too thinly, they’ll run out of energy, and even become dejected and overwhelmed by all the bad in the world that they can’t fix.

Right, because I had spiraled like this before... and it's why they told me to take the test in the first place. Sigh, it seems self growth is not an easy thing after all.

The difference here was that I recognized it, and also knew the cause... I was spreading myself too thin.. as I can't do anything half way and I had put my whole heart into too many projects, I was feeling as if nothing was going the way it was supposed to.. and most importantly, I didn't know how to fix it.

Not being able to fix things is pretty tough for me, I need to fix things.. and that can start to weigh on me. Anyways.. I recognized the problem, took a step back, reevaluated and was able to refocus. Now, one day... I hope to be able to do that before I start to spiral.. to be able to recognize these things before I get to the whole emotional response, but hey.. its a learning process and sometimes these things take time. The truth is though, I understood myself, recognized the problem and was able to come up with a solution. Which in itself is a huge improvement from the way I had responded to these sorts of things in the past.. and I have to thank a simple personality test for that.

So what did the test say?

Ok, enough random ramblings about feelings and such? Sure.. maybe I should actually touch on the test I have been yapping on about for the last few paragraphs.

For those that are curious, I will try to go through each section in an overview.. but the link has full details for those that are even more curious.



My Results



Screenshot (2).png

The Mediator (INFP-T = Introverted, Intuitive, Feeling, Prospecting - Turbulent)

Mediator personalities are true idealists, always looking for the hint of good in even the worst of people and events, searching for ways to make things better. While they may be perceived as calm, reserved, or even shy, Mediators have an inner flame and passion that can truly shine. Comprising just 4% of the population, the risk of feeling misunderstood is unfortunately high for the Mediator personality type – but when they find like-minded people to spend their time with, the harmony they feel will be a fountain of joy and inspiration.

ah yes, "The Mediator" shocking right? No? Yeah.. not really. Funny enough my Mom has called me the "little mediator" for as long as I can remember (apparently its common among middle children), so the title itself made me laugh and seemed quite fitting. I probably need to take the test again, just to compare but most of the results fit me pretty well.

MIND / I - Introverted

I have always considered myself an introvert, but I feel the term is misunderstood.. and of course, as with everything, there are different levels.

It has long been observed that some people are expressive, outgoing and comfortable in interacting with their surroundings – while others are reserved, quiet and more comfortable alone. It is as if the former sincerely enjoy engaging with the external world and recharge by communicating with other people, and the latter prefer to rely on themselves and their own inner world instead of seeking stimulation from the outside.

I myself seem to "recharge" by myself, rather than needing others to achieve this.. but I really enjoy being around other people and am fascinated to have long talks with individuals from all backgrounds. I also find I have this deep need to always wanting to find out what makes people, well them. I am a bit of an Empath which really could be a post in itself, so I "feel" things about some individuals.. I am drawn to them.. I feel I get them, and feel an internal pull to them.

The combination of those two things I believe is also why, that while I very much enjoy being around others.. big crowds make me uncomfortable. I can handle them, as long as I have a "focus" or someone I am comfortable with... but usually I am overwhelmed pretty quickly in that situation. I used to think this was some sort of anxiety, but I have grown to learn (from understanding myself a bit more), that is just a situation that I have to prepare myself for and work to get through. Some people thrive in large crowds, I do not.... It's just part of who I am.

ENERGY/ N - Intuitive

Individuals with the Intuitive trait prefer to rely on their imagination, ideas and possibilities. They dream, fantasize and question why things happen the way they do, always feeling slightly detached from the actual, concrete world. One could even say that these individuals never actually feel as if they truly belong to this world. They may observe other people and events, but their mind remains directed both inwards and somewhere beyond – always questioning, wondering and making connections. When all is said and done, Intuitive types believe in novelty, in the open mind, and in never-ending improvement. Intuitive types would be much more willing to give up the convenience, comfort and predictability of the modern age in return for excitement brought by exploration, distant civilizations, and undiscovered mysteries of the New World.

I think "making connections" is probably the easiest thing I can pinpoint from this area.. I very much see the forest for the trees, see the big picture and can put the puzzle together in most situations.. whether that has to do with another individual or a task, project, etc. This also means that I have ruined many movies for myself as I see the plot in the first few minutes, I pick up on small things and notice things others miss. I think this is what has lead for me to be able to "spot" plagiarists on this platform while curating while also being able to spend just a few minutes "looking" at things and pretty much be able to solve a "steem mystery".. as well as be a very good texas hold 'em player....random, useless talents I guess.

NATURE/ F - Feeling

The Nature scale determines how we make decisions and cope with emotions. While we all have feelings, there are significant differences in how we react to them and what role those feelings play in our lives.

People with the Feeling (F) trait follow their hearts and emotions and care little about hiding them. From their perspective, we should not be afraid to listen to our innermost feelings and share them with the world – these individuals tend to be compassionate, sensitive and highly emotional. They would rather cooperate than compete, although it would be a big mistake to see Feeling types as naïve or easily swayed – quite the contrary, they are likely to fight tooth and nail for what they believe in. For many Feeling types, their principles and ideals are much more important than, say, professional success.

----> "they are likely to fight tooth and nail for what they believe in."

Ummm, yeah.

I don't think of myself as an "emotional" person, by the commonly used definition... but I do think with my heart rather than from a logical stand point.. and I will go down in flames for something I believe in. This also means I put my beliefs and values before personal success and pretty much is why I joke constantly that I suck at Steem.

I don't think of this as a negative, but something that is good to be aware of and work to find a balance in. I am sort of in this middle in this area, so I feel that most days I have a pretty good combination of being logical but also always making sure each decision I make is something I truly believe in.. I wear my heart on my sleeve, but find I don't let it make each decision for me. Balance is key.

TACTICS/ P - Prospecting

Prospecting (P) individuals are much more flexible and relaxed when it comes to dealing with both expected and unexpected challenges. They are always scanning for opportunities and options, willing to jump at them at a moment’s notice. People with this trait are perfectly aware that life is full of possibilities, and they are reluctant to commit to something that might well prove to be an inferior option in the future.

Yeah, no surprise here either.. while I do like "structure" and I need to know the overall direction I am going in, I very much go with the flow. I do not panic in a situation where the "plan" is changed, rather I scan and come up with a new plan to keep me going in the set direction I intended to go. I find that knowing this allows me to take a breath when I am addressed with such a situation and if given so, I usually very quickly can find a plan B.. and continue pushing forward.

IDENTITY/ T - Turbulent

Identity, affects all others, showing how confident we are in our abilities and decisions. In a way, it acts as an internal sensor, reacting to the input we get from the environment – for instance, success or failure, feedback from other people, pressure caused by unexpected events and so on.

Assertive (-A) individuals are self-assured, even-tempered and resistant to stress. They refuse to worry too much and do not push themselves too hard when it comes to achieving goals. <--- not me

While Individuals with Turbulent (-T) identity are self-conscious and sensitive to stress. They experience a wide range of emotions and tend to be success-driven, perfectionistic and eager to improve. Always feeling the need to do more, to have more, and to be more, Turbulent types often forget how exhausting that can be to both themselves and the people around them – but it is entirely possible that this desire to always push themselves just a little further helps many Turbulent types to achieve what they seek to achieve. <--- ding ding ding

Yes, this one here was a real eye opener for me as well. I have always been a bit of a perfectionist, and I feel due to some outside sources this lead to many unhealthy things in my life. The need to always "do more and be more" lead to never being able to achieve my own unrealistic expectations for myself. I have always been extremely hard on myself. That mixed with possibly that "feeling" trait always left me feeling "not quite enough." Something that I have been actively working to overcome. I am not quite there, but baby steps can lead to big things... I will get there eventually.

While I feel my expectations for others is high, I feel that I just expect things from those few I choose to put my trust into...as I don't give it very easily. I don't believe I need others to be perfect, I just seem to be picky with who I choose to spend my time with. I try to not judge others, as I think we all are broken beings just trying to find our place in the world... but I also find that I may just distance myself from individuals that don't line up with my standards or values. I am trying to be more aware of this now, allow myself to be more "social" in a way.. but my introvert ways are hard to break at times and I have always been the type to prefer a few close friends rather than a group, but I am working on it.

Now, from a business stand point, I think its a pretty remarkable trait to have. I need to do things the best way possible and cannot do things half assed... which leads to me achieving things that I can look back and be proud of. But, as with anything.. balance is needed.. as not being able to "fix" things in the perfect way I think they should be, can lead to frustration if I let it get out of control. Which I encountered this week :D



Have you guys had enough yet?

No? You are actually still reading this? Sheesh.. ok then... I will leave you with a simple list of strengths and weaknesses then, as this needs really no commentary as I feel it is pretty spot on for me personally;

Mediator Strengths


  • Idealistic – Mediators’ friends and loved ones will come to admire and depend on them for their optimism. Their unshaken belief that all people are inherently good, perhaps simply misunderstood, lends itself to an incredibly resilient attitude in the face of hardship.
  • Seek and Value Harmony – People with the Mediator personality type have no interest in having power over others, and don’t much care for domineering attitudes at all. They prefer a more democratic approach, and work hard to ensure that every voice and perspective is heard.
  • Open-Minded and Flexible – A live-and-let-live attitude comes naturally to Mediators, and they dislike being constrained by rules. Mediators give the benefit of the doubt too, and so long as their principles and ideas are not being challenged, they’ll support others’ right to do what they think is right.
  • Very Creative – Mediators combine their visionary nature with their open-mindedness to allow them to see things from unconventional perspectives. Being able to connect many far-flung dots into a single theme, it’s no wonder that many Mediators are celebrated poets and authors.
  • Passionate and Energetic – When something captures Mediators’ imagination and speaks to their beliefs, they go all in, dedicating their time, energy, thoughts and emotions to the project. Their shyness keeps them from the podium, but they are the first to lend a helping hand where it’s needed.
  • Dedicated and Hard-Working – While others focusing on the challenges of the moment may give up when the going gets tough, Mediators (especially Assertive ones) have the benefit of their far-reaching vision to help them through. Knowing that what they are doing is meaningful gives people with this personality type a sense of purpose and even courage when it comes to accomplishing something they believe in.


Mediator Weaknesses


  • Too Idealistic – Mediators often take their idealism too far, setting themselves up for disappointment as, again and again, evil things happen in the world. This is true on a personal level too, as Mediators may not just idealize their partners, but idolize them, forgetting that no one is perfect.
  • Too Altruistic – Mediators sometimes see themselves as selfish, but only because they want to give so much more than they are able to. This becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy, as they try to push themselves to commit to a chosen cause or person, forgetting to take care of the needs of others in their lives, and especially themselves.
  • Impractical – When something captures Mediators’ imagination, they can neglect practical matters like day-to-day maintenance and simple pleasures. Sometimes people with the Mediator personality type will take this asceticism so far as to neglect eating and drinking as they pursue their passion or cause.
  • Dislike Dealing With Data – Mediators are often so focused on the big picture that they forget the forest is made of individual trees. Mediators are in tune with emotions and morality, and when the facts and data contradict their ideals, it can be a real challenge for them.
  • Take Things Personally – Mediators often take challenges and criticisms personally, rather than as inspiration to reassess their positions. Avoiding conflict as much as possible, Mediators will put a great deal of time and energy into trying to align their principles and the criticisms into a middle ground that satisfies everybody.
  • Difficult to Get to Know – Mediators are private, reserved and self-conscious. This makes them notoriously difficult to really get to know, and their need for these qualities contributes to the guilt they often feel for not giving more of themselves to those they care about



I find it really interesting that some of our biggest strengths can then become our weaknesses, if we don't find that balance within us.

As someone who constantly wants to improve, and isn't much of a "planner" I found this list extremely insightful and helpful. I can logically look at the things that I am good at, while working to improve the things I struggle with and prevent myself from making it a self deprecating thing... its just self reflection of my strengths and weaknesses and being aware of both can be a huge assent in self growth, which to me is the ultimate goal.

I would also like to direct anyone who has ever come to me with some sort of code or technical explanation, that I then needed them to repeat 10 times until I understood it to that whole "Dislike dealing with data part" Thanks





Whew, that was a lot....

I know I am not the only one that is fascinated with this test, as I have heard it come up many times. So I just wanted to take some time to discuss it while opening up about my personal take on it. I find it combined with this desire to improve, grow and evolve as a human being has been pretty remarkable for me personally.

I have been trying to spread a message on my journey of self growth here, trying to be real.. to be vocal that its ok to be broken, its ok to not be perfect, and its ok to BE YOU, Because there is no one else in the world like you. We should embrace it... we should grow, love.. and enjoy every minute of this beautiful life we were given.



Sometimes we fall down, sometimes we loose our way.. but its what we do after that, that really counts. Because no one is perfect, and no one expects you to be.


I am an extremely flawed individual, and it turns out... I am totally ok with that...




I hope this has been enlightening to you or maybe encourages you to Take the test. Maybe it will be a way for you to discover and understand yourself a bit, as it has done for me.


Thanks for coming along on my journey and dealing with my ramblings. <3



Much Love,


Justine



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I hope this week will be better for you, lele <3 You have such an open spirit, you know, which makes you always compelled to help others, but which also leaves you pretty vulnerable.

I think that test's result really captures you, and I am glad there are such tools such as this personality test that can educate a person who they are, and why they react a certain way. It's a helpful aide :)

I think you will grow from strength to strength, and your journey and honesty and the way you challenge yourself and the way you put yourself out there, are not only courageous but also inspiring :)

Love the LeLe! <3

Thank you spider ❤️

Honestly, I’m ok with the criticisms and I think it just comes with being on a social media platform and being visual. I think criticisms can be beneficial if one can reflect on them in a healthy way, which I am working on. I take things personally, which is hard to fight..and then I find I reach a point where I am responding emotionally rather than logically. But hey.. what better way to better yourself than to force yourself to deal with things you aren’t good at? Being open here is a journey of self growth, some negativity is just part of it. I need to learn to ignore some of it 😉 I will get there.

Having individuals like yourself and Scrawly giving me such amazing encouragement means the world.. thank you for being you ❤️

Yeah! Everyone makes a lot of mistakes, and we all have flaws, and we stumble from time to time and it makes a difference, the how we take on the criticisms lobbed at us when we stumble.... i think.

I tend to kind of run away from setbacks, but in the long run, it makes certain skills/growth stunted because i choose not to grow from the feedback the world's giving me. So then i would go back out from running away, having learned very little from the experience XD

But you are right, criticism and negativity are things we must face in our journey of self growth :)

Just know that when you are down, you have people that really know your strength and i think they are called 'friends'. I'm in lele's corner \o/ !!!

❤️

I remember doing this once in a more advanced job interview for a leadership position. I was almost impressed by the sheer number of interviews (4) and tests (3) they wanted me to take. But it was a lot of fun and also very rewarding as it helped me become more conscious of how my way of approaching problems may be perceived differently by others, as well as how I could make the most of my mind and do the best to satisfy my needs. It was a journey of improved self-knowledge, which I still think is one's single most important form of development regardless of personality type.

I took the test again after reading your post and was very little surprised by the results, which were the same as when I last did it 5 years ago ^^.

The debater.png

Not being able to fix things is pretty tough for me, I need to fix things.. and that can start to weigh on me.

To me, I had to become aware of the fact that when I most needed help to solve something, I would insist on working on it myself to "complete" it so that when I shared it with others they would see that I had "fixed it" and done a good job. Only when I understood that this is exactly when I should do the opposite, ask for help and show vulnerability/imperfection, was I able to do my best as I wasn't constantly stuck working on things that other people with different qualities would be better at doing anyways.

helped me become more conscious of how my way of approaching problems may be perceived differently by others

Yes! I feel exactly the same and am trying to explore a bit of others’ types and how those sorts of difference can compliment each other, but could lead to misunderstandings just based on how we perceive each other. I find that could possibly the most fascinating thing of all, it can help us understand others and possibly teach us how to interact with each other a bit better.

I would insist on working on it myself to “complete” it so that when I shared it with others they would see that I had “fixed it” and done a good job.

See I find this fascinating, as while I need to “fix” things myself.. I normally don’t even want people to know I fixed it.. I just really need things to be fixed. I struggle with letting things not get done or disagreemts to go unresolved.. I also feel the need to “mediate”. In a task though, it’s more than I don’t see it being done the best way possible so feel the need to take it on myself. That is probably a bit of the perfectionist there and I’m trying to work on letting go a bit. I fight the inner monologue of “if I don’t do it, it won’t get done.” Which can lead to taking on too much and being a bit of a control freak haha. I am working on it.

How we all respond to things differently and the reasons of why we do I think show the sheer complexity of us as human beings and it sort of makes me smile. Once we begin to understand one another, we can make connections and achieve things we maybe could have never done before. I think that is pretty special ☺️

btw, in the short time I spent with you at SF.. I can say your results don’t surprise me that much and it makes me want to read a bit more. 😉 Thanks for sharing! ❤️

Calling all introverts! Let's all band together, separately of course.

This is my favorite comment 😂 thank you for the deep gut laugh on that one! LOL

Ha, funny that I am an introvert that loves being around others.. just not too many.. 👀

I think the biggest distinction is what you must do to recharge. Extroverts seek company, introverts withdraw from it.

I agree 100%, that is the big difference there and something that I think is misunderstood. Many think introverts don’t like to socialize, but rather it’s just based on more of how we recharge and relax. So when are we having this introverts meeting? We could just plan time outs where were we could go read by ourselves or something 😜

Very interesting Justine! I did my 'test' a few months ago. I'm commenting with an image as they are so similar! Thanks for sharing 🔆
bargePersonalityTypeINFPA.jpg

So similar to my results @barge 😎INFJ

Nobody's perfect and everyone makes mistakes. But I know that you're trying hard to be a better person and do good things for everyone :).

Hey thanks Scrawly, and I have to say that your amazing tribute let me speechless and really was and incredible boost for me.. so thank you for that ❤️

I think mistakes are part of life, and I believe they are another form of learning. I think that once we realize mistakes are normal, we can use them to improve ourselves rather than to dwell on them. That’s my goal anyways.

Thanks for your insane love and support, you are an amazing soul! ❤️

Watching you reminds me of a quote from an old tv series.
"You can't fix everything, but I love that you try."
                         
I'm glad you feel better :).

Gotta say I'm not surprised you're an INFP – I'm actually the exact same type of which I've made a post myself too a while ago.

Keep on being you and don't let (stupid) people influence what you want to put on the blockchain.

Ohhhh my fellow kindred spirit! Haha, I have not had one person that was surprised by my results 😂

And nah, I just need to work on taking criticism a bit better.. work on not taking things personal and just dealing with things a bit better. I’ll get there!

Going to read your post now! ❤️

And nah, I just need to work on taking criticism a bit better.. work on not taking things personal and just dealing with things a bit better. I’ll get there!

I know the struggle with criticism, but it has gotten easier with age for me. It's definitely possible to get better with it.

Posted using Partiko Android

I am actually here for the lovely thumbnails.

Which there was this english bot reading the Text for.

Those tests are scary when precise. When do machines know all about us?! O.o

Posted using Partiko Android

interesting! I couldn't resist and had to take it too, heheh. Although some of the questions are a bit weird... like "as a parent, do you want your kid to grow up kind rather than smart"..mmhhh why not both at the same time? I don't like having to choose...oh well here's mine =)

test.png

That question threw me as well ... I want both was my intital response too haha. I need to read up on yours! Did you feel it was revealing at all?

yes it was surprisingly accurate! Made @el-cr take it too and his is spot on as well =) I love this test!

Me too!! We need to have a Myers Briggs Steem conference 👀 wouldn’t those be fun conversations? Haha

Haha! Yay! We are very similar in results ❤️ No wonder we are such kindred spirits 😉

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