Did I make a mistake by leaving, last night?
Last night we met up with friends for pool and drinks. A few weeks (months?) ago two friends who my wife @countrylover and I had introduced years ago, and who later got engaged, broke up. The lady left the fellow pretty harshly, motivated by her mother who tries to act like she's her daughter's age -- doesn't seem like such a great role model; I've met her a couple times, she gets really drunk.
Anyway, our other friends were telling us they're getting back together, and that he's bringing her to the bar. My response was that if he does that without warning me beforehand then he's making a mistake and I don't want to be around. That statement likely set the stage for what happened later. I also said that getting back together with her is a mistake because she left him due to outside influences; she's likely to be influenced again. It is not a position of strength to take back a cheater.
I have no idea whether she cheated, during her absence -- but, "he did!" They were on a break, like Ross and Rachel on "Friends," but it's still an issue -- especially because in the interim, he got together with another friend (this sounds like a J. Geils song![1]), who was also there last night.
So, I also felt embarrassed for her, even though I don't think there are any hard feelings (she had said "we're just fucking" the week prior, when he began to express feelings for her).
Played some great games of pool (J Geils was just playing in a swimming pool, in the other window as I typed that -- I love wordplay :) ), and then my friend walked in with his ex-fiance. I walked over to my wife and said it's time to go, and we left basically without saying goodbye to anybody. I think I said hello to him, but I did not look at her. We have several close friends, and know most everyone else who's there regularly, and I usually say hello and goodbye to many people.
I feel bad. I mean, I'm asking a question in the subject but I think I already know the answer: I did make a mistake. If they patch things up then I should feel happy for them. Right? And, our friend who he knocked boots with a few times, she's the one who should have a reaction, not me. Why did I? The usual go-to is the concussions I'm recovering from. That seems to fit; I saw red and had to leave. Still, I feel bad, and more importantly:
How do I fix it?
[1] -- J. Geils, "Love Stinks":
First of all great song! I don't think you did anything wrong. If you are in a public place like a bar (even if you are a regular) and you leave without saying goodbye, no biggie. You felt uncomfortable and didn't want to deal with it. If you were in someone's home and left without saying anything that would be rude. If all goes well and they get solidly back together eventually you will have to trust your friend's decision. Until then, you can avoid her as you see fit. Life is short and no need to deal with unnecessary bullshit! Disclaimer: That is just my opinion. I'm not an expert on etiquette, ha ha!
Thank you, I really like this response (and my wife did as well, based on her upvote! :) ).
I did not say anything mean or nasty; I just said nothing. I feel just as bad as if I had said something to her. But I suppose that's a good thing, as it shows that I have a conscience and am not a lizard thing looking to lose an election and write a stupid book. :D
Hilari... ous!
Yep, you got it. :)
If your gut was telling you to leave then maybe it was the right thing to do at that time.
Thanks. I think that's important. We have thinking structures in our bodies, that are more than just our brains. Our heart, and our gut, contain neurons. I think that's wild -- "my hearts not in it" or "go with your heart", and "I've got a gut feeling about this" -- it's so neat that I'm not only the patterns in my brain.
that's very helpful post!!
thank you ;)
Nice view!!
in my opinion: we should loosen our standards of relationship a little bit, cheating was a big deal when STD's where a huge risk to people, nowadays we can afford to forgive a little mischief.
If you can be your normal self around her and not let her actions damage your social life, everybody will benefit.
I disagree both that STDs are less prevalent now, and also that mischief is harmless. But, I do agree with your ending. :)
i hope they patch up soon i didn't see any mistake of your's here
Thank you!
Inside you is a link to all the answers... it is called Akasha, Akacia, but the name doesn't matter...lol.
The important part is "You know Something"... yes capitol s!
you did the right thing, because you would have said something about the relevant events, and don't want to be fettered with others expectations...
It's not about how you felt, it's about how your feelings would have made you look when you reacted to them...
Nice, thanks! I believe that we are all shards of light from the Creator; He put a bit of Himself into each of us. The pineal gland is a link back "up" and I'm not sure exactly what all of "up" entails. Like the movie "Beetlejuice", where the afterlife was work. :)
But yeah, I had read about the Akashic Records many years ago, and now I think it's true but perhaps has a different "source" than I might have thought previously. (I returned to Scripture about two years ago.)
Well it is not an easy one to do to apologise, but if you really sorry, then i think you should apologise to them, depending on how important their friendship is to you.
Fortunately, my wife said they didn't perceive anything negative. And, I didn't want to "send" anything negative, I was just uncomfortable and wanted not to be there. So it seems like it's okay for now, and we'll have to have a discussion soon...
Yah your wife might be correct.
awesome video... i like this video.....thanks for sharing post...
good job @libertyteeth