Alcoholism: Day 69 Thinking About A Friend And Sobriety
Today I saw my best friend that I have not seen during my 69 days of sobriety. Not only is he my best friend, but he was my drinking buddy too. He needed an air conditioner and I had an extra one laying around, so I let him have it.
We still talk on the phone about once a week. Sometimes he calls really drunk and other times he is sober. One day he mentioned it would be "weird if we were to be around each other" because he still drinks and would "continue to drink" around me. I was honest with him and told him I would rather not be around alcohol at this point in time.
I am sure some reading may think "Oh, he's going to be one of those people who view people that drink alcohol as beneath him".
I don't think that at all; just because someone drinks alcohol doesn't mean they have a problem.
I'm the one with the alcohol problem.
69 days seems a long time into sobriety, but I will tell you now...it's not. My drinking days are still very fresh in my memory. The thought of "just one cold beer" sounds very enticing some days. I can't make that mistake again.
Yes, I said again.
You see, I managed 9 months of sobriety around 2008. You know what brought that all crumbling down? The thought of "Oh come on you can handle one cold beer" in a drinking environment and I acted on that impulse. 1 beer turned into 2, 2 to 3...1 day to 2 days, 2 days to 3...
Trust me, it's a vicious cycle.
I have to be honest with myself. I know I am not ready to be around alcohol. It's nothing personal against my friend but I have to watch out for me right now. That may seem selfish but If I need to be selfish to maintain my sobriety; that's how it has to be. In sobriety I have a happier family, a clean sober life I am enjoying, and I am productive for society.
In Alcoholics Anonymous, people have a phrase they use: "I'm an Alcoholic practicing sobriety". That may sound weak for people to refer to themselves as an alcoholic, but it's not. It's being real and honest with yourself. It's a daily reminder to not get too confident, to remember where you have been, know where you are; get through today sober.
In the end, I may lose a very good friend because of my sobriety.
Maintain sobriety, lose a friend or maintain a friend, lose sobriety?
If I do have to make a choice one day... I choose sobriety.
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I don't think you're being selfish at all. I think you're actually being selfless, denying the easy way to yourself in your determination to do things right by your family and society. And you're one of the most self-aware, not afraid to stand up for your beliefs guys around. To know exactly what your weaknesses are and to protect yourself against any temptations you know you won't be able to handle at this current time.
Don't worry about your best friend. I believe that true friendships will be able to stand the test of time, disagreeing views/habits, and change. It's not that you told him you would rather not be around him at this time. You said you would rather not be around alcohol.
Your reason is very valid, and now is the time to see how he reacts to your goal in life, and how you will react to his reaction down the road. You could also just remain phone buddies so he can have a bit of a drink and you can still keep your physical distance from alcohol ;)
Thanks for this in-depth reply. I do agree friendships withstand the test of time. All things happen for a reason. I will learn from this experience how valuable this friendship truly is.
Yes, if the friendship does waver in the end, it will just free up space and time in your mind and heart for other good ones. Take heart! hugs
Wow, this could be a quote.
Right on my friend! Keep up the great work & Stay True to You ~ always and in all ways :)
Much Love & Respect @lexikon082! Namaste
I dig your words. I wish you much happiness @reiki-trail.
Thank you my friend :) Likewise <3
Namaste ✨🙏✨
It's a difficult road since you go to the store and that shit is right there on the shelf, go to a party and the guy next to you is calling you a pussy for not drinking just one, so on .......... Very easy to slip up but remembering that being hammered solves nothing and when it wears off nothing is changed, that's a sobering thought.
Heh just signed on to Twitter and guess what's trending:
Obviously the third down.
This is the truest of true statements. The trending page pic is quite interesting.
Spent many years there. Not something that's discussed at the dinner table.
Lol. Yeah, probably not the greatest dinner table discussion.
Good decisions are the most difficult decisions. You are not even close to being selfish.
Steem On.
Yeah, they are usually the hard ones, but I'm willing to make this one. Thanks for reaffirming my initial feeling in regard to the selfish part. I appreciate the great reply.
You know you are making the right decision when its hard :)
Life seems to be that way. I think a true friend would have enough respect to not want to drink around me.
Yes and no. A true friend would know enough to maybe once a month swing by with no alcohol.
Just keep going. One day, while it will be hard in a couple of years, you will be able to go to a dinner party with the fire water.
Until then, have you found a replacement addiction? It is important to remember that replacing alcohol with something healthy, but good can help the craving.
Learn to make a killer sweet tea :)
I do agree with this statement. This specific friend makes wine and I use to be somewhat of a wine connoisseur back in the day. A few times I have tried to quit drinking and visit it was always "come on just taste it and spit it out, you don't have to drink it". I don't need that pressure. I do hope to have the strength one day to be around alcohol. My aunt has been sober for about 20 years or so and she was telling me it took her about 5 years before she could be around it. I know we are all different, but I have someone else's personal experience to refer to. In regard to replacement...I have been drinking more Coke and plan to replace that with something healthy soon.
You need to give yourself mad props! And stop calling this person a friend.
You can love them and move on.
In my heart I know that is what will happen. Sometimes thinking things through is the final step to truly acknowledge to yourself it's the way it has to be. Thanks for your kind and truthful assertation of the situation.
There's an old saying;
You have an awesome family and you got lot's of new friends here on Steemit buddy! ☺
I've never seen that quote before. But wow what an awesome one it is. It's going on my quote wall. Yes, I do feel I have made many new friends here and I do believe I have made some lifelong friends too.
Great quote, @dozjia! I totally agree with it and your statement that @lexikon082 and @curly-q have a wonderful family and many new friends here on Steemit :)) I add myself as one of those friends :)
Yay, just keep on going...one day at a time!
You keep on going and do what you must do. Read Run the race on my hubby's blog @scotty777.
I will @hope777 thanks for the suggestion.