Finding Stability.

in #life8 years ago (edited)

3 days ago I moved from Florida to Minnesota.

The fact that I was about to finally be safe and happy was initially over-shadowed by my having broken up with my boyfriend right before him driving me to MN.

We have stayed friends and realized we both have some stuff to learn about ourselves but that's besides the point.

Yesterday I went out with my roommate and long-time friend, Greg for the first time since arriving just 2 days ago. We first stopped by Barnes & Noble for coffee and food. --I found a mother-fucking blanket that was 75% off and has an excerpt from "The metamorphosis" by Kafka on it. Like the entire blanket is filled with part of the book!-- and then we went shopping for groceries at some of the local stores. I was surprised to find that I could get some vegan things here that I couldn't even get in Orlando, Florida. (I am on the outskirts of St. Cloud, MN.)


an image I found of that awesome blanket

Then we got some local craft beer. It was made with lavender and dates and. um, I forget the third thing. We hung out and chatted and caught up. I felt completely comfortable hanging out with my old buddy. I hadn't seen him in about 5 years, maybe even longer but it felt just like old times. I also went and put my name on the lease yesterday and got my own key to the apartment. Making my new home official. My cat is also thriving. It's almost as if, she too, can feel that we are finally safe.

As you can gather from some of my other blogs I have had a pretty unstable, down-right messed up life. My entire childhood was chaotic and unstable, from homelessness to foster care. I grew up with a single, addict mother who even trying her best was unable to provide a normal stable life. In my adulthood I struggled with mental illness from childhood abuse and being an addict myself and continued this cycle of instability myself. Finally cutting out toxic family, cutting out drugs and partying, and making this move feels like it's the beginning of the rest of my life. It certainly feels like a new chapter. I woke up this morning and immediately started making art.

I am painting myself a kepsake box.

For the first time in my life I don't feel like I have to be ready to bolt at any minute.

I am inspired and motivated and already planning what to buy to make my room/workspace comfortable. I have already started reaching out on meetup and other platforms to try to find myself some like-minded friends. Since the majority of this city is fundamentalists Christians I may have to try harder but I am confident I will make connections, even if people in MN are afraid of feelings, according to my friend. and confirmed by some people here I have talked to.

I was talking to a friend and fellow steemer about karma today. She was saying how surely life would get better because it's been bad for so long. I said that I don't believe in karma and feel there is too much evidence to disprove it. Such as children starving to death or being sex slaves in a locked-up room their entire lives until they die. Things don't have to get better. The universe doesn't owe us anything and that is precisely why when things do get better momentarily --due to the kindness of an old friend-- I am going to damn-sure take advantage of it.

I really wanted to take pics and show you guys the town/my room but the phone I ordered from newegg is faulty and apparently it's a common problem with this phone. They won't refund me but are sending me another, likely faulty, phone. So I have no camera/phone camera at the moment.

Sort:  

I'm happy that your move went relatively well and that you feel finally safe :)

Happier that you decided to keep on blogging , keep 'em coming !

^_^ I just needed a short breather I guess.

I also recently moved from san francisco to pittsburgh. I moved to start my own game studio, and it's much cheaper here. But moving is challenging, wherever you go.

Ah, following a pipe dream too! Awesome. I am making art and publishing books and it's finally starting to take off. Let's kick life's ass on our terms and not listen to them nay-sayers. :)

If you post about your game studio I will be watching. I wish you the best. :)

Congrats on completing the move and I hope things go very well for you there!

Nice post, good to see it feels already like home! Good luck in the future

Thank you. I am surprised at how quickly it started feeling like home. :)

hi great post. started following you. thanks for the up-vote of my post
https://steemit.com/health/@knozaki2015/the-10-principles-of-health-i-was-tought-by-a-teacup-but-they-are-spot-on

if you liked my posts, follow me to!

Upvoted

Keep up the great work @lauralemons
Upvoted

you are so predictable you make me puke

Coin Marketplace

STEEM 0.19
TRX 0.13
JST 0.030
BTC 63749.66
ETH 3419.02
USDT 1.00
SBD 2.48