In my dating adventures so often men would waste my time doing the nice guy act & while I don't want a jerk, it certainly feels more honest than someone pretending to be nice & then ripping off their mask when they get tired of faking & fronting & realize at some point they have to be themselves for an authentic connection to form.
I gave up. I was tired of being emotionally eviscerated by "nice" guys that had zero ability to take even small rejections after moving too fast without melting down.
You are definitely right that men & women define nice guys differently!