Leaving Amsterdam?
I
came to Amsterdam for SteemFest, but I had this other second thing I thought I would try before I left again. Monday I have the screening interview at Jan van Galenstraat to get a welfare payment, but now that the day is close, I just want to leave. This place is suffocating me. I mean, even literally, more than half my time since coming I have literally been struggling for breath with bronchitis and chronic coughing.
Except it is the middle of winter. Well, it isn't like this has stopped me before. I am not exactly sure what has happened but since the girl I am not feeling nearly so cold outside.
But I have no idea what I should do or where I might go. I adopted the last name "Verloren" back in 2010. Yes, it was chosen to indicate that I am lost. I have been lost since I was 21 years old living in Canberra, when I started working freelance fixing computers.
My friend Nikola ( @wayab ) misses me back in Sofia. @deearchi in Serbia was so kind to me on my way here before SteemFest. Here, I find my friend Andrei ( @angrb0da ), and it has been nice to see him again but also sad, not just him but so many people I am friends with, who are still stuck here.
Last year at this time I was wandering through Slovenia and Hungary. I spent Christmas sleeping in Corvin-Negyed metro and begging for some forints to get online, my phone back then had a dead microUSB port, which I got fixed, and then let some meth junkies take my just fixed phone and it never came back.
I am tired of this life of constant discomfort, hunger, cold, loneliness, people around me in the same misery, and no way out. It was rough spending January in Sofia, but I at least never lost my hope or my ability to breathe freely.
I am not sure what I am going to do but I wish I could break out of this. I have many happy stories to tell, cool stuff to show people and teach about, but I am so wrapped up in myself and he daily grind, I am barely writing anything.
We can't stop here! This is Whale country!
Loki was born in Australia, now is wandering Amsterdam again after 9 months in Sofia, Bulgaria. IT generalist, physics theorist, futurist and cyber-agorist.
Loki's life mission is to establish a secure, distributed layer atop the internet, and enable space migration, preferably while living in a beautiful mountain house somewhere with a good woman, and lots of farm animals and gardens, where he can also go hunting and camping.
"I'm a thoughtocaster, a conundrummer in a band called Life Puzzler. I've flipped more lids than a monkey in a soup kitchen, of the mind."
- Xavier, Renegade Angel
All images in the above post are either original from me, or taken from Google Image Search, filtered for the right of reuse and modification, and either hotlinked directly, or altered by me
Mate sounds like stuff getting you down. I wish I could say something to brighten things up but I know your continued contributions to Steemit are valued by the community here. Maybe you need a hot pie and a Vegemite sanger. Seriously I hope you get yourself to a better place soon.
We have a spare room or a hammock for you in Cambodia. Although it's gonna be a hell of a hitchhike to get here... I think it might be possible... and it's warm over here and def not suffocating at all ;-) And you can poke the dawn project for some work ;-)
Thanks for the offer :) I am sure a breakthrough is just around the corner. I am very grateful for the support from everyone.
Know to offer still stands. Good luck man and like you said, prob the solution is just waiting around the corner.
Hey man, in the next few days, I am going to be doing a pay it forward post for you, so be watching for it. Don't think that you are going unheard - You have a community here that can help!
are you going back to Sofia or somewhere else?
I honestly have no idea. It isn't very practical to travel anywhere until february. I will see how the screening interview goes on monday. I don't yet know how that will go since last year.
I think you're incredible l0k1... stay strong.
Given the choice and the money, would you rather settle down in a house or have a camper van to go wherever you like in comfort?
A house... I don't like traveling, and I don't like much company... I would love to have a job with a good team also...
And where would that house be, ideally?
Well I liked Sofia. Somewhere like that, but maybe a bit out of town, or right in the middle... Better for gardening out of town.
Finally U made it @l0k1 to STEEMFEST
@l0k1
There's always a way out . I've recommended you this place a week after you came here and you haven't given it a try. At least there you have a roof, food and company. Mostly men actually - give it a try first before you give it up. However, it's your life - your choice and I wish you good luck. One call @l0k1 is all it would take and if they gave you a no - at least you gave it a try.
You should check out @shla-rafia he's also in Amsterdam and is having the same situation as you. Good luck with you both
It is no way to a job and I have for all but a few hours a day a warm place out of the cold. The situation is different now I am not stuck outside anymore all night.
I could work a job from here until I got my first pay, but I need a little to get decent clothes, maybe some credit for my phone. I don't know if I need more than this phone for applying for jobs but Andrei has a laptop I am sure he'd let me use.
I am just reeling a bit after my encounter with Samantha. I have not had these kind of feelings in a very long time. I mean, I have had girlfriends but not since maybe 2002 like the way she moved me.
I am pretty sure after monday the uncertainty will leave my mind. This last week has been a rollercoaster.
@l0k1 - that thing called love
well Loki, good luck.