Late Night Thought: What Drives Me?

January is a month that I faced several questions that I doubted myself from time to time, leading me to this question of what actually is driving me to get to this choice of wanting to set up a business and am I really putting all out to do it. This brings me back to last year September where I am finishing my final notice period with my previous employer and ever since, I am a free man up until now. Throughout these three months, a lot had happened and that brought me to think about what really drives me to take this path? Am I ready to be on this path? Am I putting all my effort into doing this?

My Question & Answer

Well, to answer those question in simple term: I want a life that I can earn the money with the way I want, a sort of financial independence; don’t think so that I’m ready for this path, after going through different classes, I think what I lack most is the art of selling; no, I doubted myself from time to time and ended up not dare to do it thoroughly. This makes me in frustration and self blaming. In the end, this makes up a negative cycle whereby I just try to keep myself afloat and don’t really know how to realize the 0 to 1 leap. Up until now, I have yet to hit my milestone and it is the first time that I face this desperation. But think of it, ain’t this is how entrepreneurial path is like? The mantra is to keep trying and keep correcting the way we do things until we get it right. In between, the cost of time and money have to be fully bear by my own,no more at the expense of a company. Therefore, the mindset has to be always right, be accountable.

So What Should I Do?

Thus, while hustling around and juggling between roles, I have to structure myself in a way that I can commit myself in a focused manner in each field that I need to be committed. For example, I’m now taking up the sales and marketing role of the urban farming company named Urban Farm Tech; I’m taking the professional examination for Architect this year; I need to find jobs of architecture to get some remuneration to sustain; I also learning Google Marketing and planning to launch some services for the SMEs and Startup; last but not least, I’m also helping my wife on sales and marketing for her startup, Vetamind which is a pet supply e-commerce and also consultant for pet and owners. All of these roles have their shared skills set which I could separate into two categories: one is the professional skills I picked up which is architecture design and management; and another new part is the marketing part whereby I need t study while implementing at the same time. However, this seemed to be quite overwhelmed for me even now to juggle between all these roles. Yet, I think it is possible and my next step is to hack into my life’s routine.

Segment All Goals Into Small Actions

I read about this strategy before that having different milestones and goals are good but there is always the execution which are much more crucial. This, all the goals seemed to be quite hard for me to achieve. However, when I reverse engineer the goals, it seemed to be more achievable than I imagine. For example, I’m taking the exam for my Architect professional certification, that requires me to do intense study on different statutory acts, contracts and also laws about the practice. So setting an overall duration that I need to make myself fluent with the topics, then I segment it into smaller pieces. I set the goal is to commit 750 hours for the study and preparation. And I have less than 30 weeks to go for the final paper. This means that every day I need at least four hours to work on the different topics! So I would say, 2 hours in the morning and 2 hours in the night is the time I need to set out for the study. Then, the next question, how do I make sure myself can keep going for 30 weeks without break? And how do I make use of this time spent and maximize the value as four hours is a lot for a business too! Another question is how can I recall all the stuff I studied?

Documentation is The Key

This led me to think of documentation! I followed a few bright YouTubers where they document how they study (graduates in top university, and seeing them working hard to hit their goal, that is very inspiring). Since I have this milestones to hit, why not I myself become a Youtuber that shares my experience with the audience. Be it even one audience is watching my video, at least there is someone there watching me and giving me the moral support at the lonely morning and night 😋 This is also a record for myself on how my growth is and this keep me focus to and not derail from study and goes on to scrolling social media. Next up would be document my study into notes. There will be two notes taking that I will do, one is on my new favorite which is called Good Notes on ipad. Is a superb note taking app where it can detect my writings and find the keywords. Thad is super helpful when we are doing topical study. On the other hand, I will also take notes on the books that I bought (which don’t have any pdf as I can import pdf into GoodNotes and make it a traceable document!). So all the notes taken will then be shared on my page too so that my group of friends or anyone who are interested to learn about those can gain from it. My intention is clear that I need to make those as useful as possible so that it can benefit not only me but others too.

What Drives Me?

So back to the question, what drives me? Well, I really hope I can make some impactful things in my life, mainly is to help others and being meaningful to others. Of course, the best way is to treat my family and my beloved one (my dear wife) the best I could. For now, my only commitment is the time and some financial give back. However, that is not enough to me. I wanted to give more. Yet, I need to have more to be able to give too. I believe that there are many out there who are also seeking, exploring what their drivers are. So through this “campaign” for myself, I hope that this would become a reference too. By thinking of that, I get excited and quickly put it down here on Steemit and later on my other site.

January is a great month for me to break away from confusion and lost. Is the time where I put myself together and launch myself again. With the help of the belief and god’s and my loved ones blessings, I think I can make it through. Looking forward to see my new self in 2021!