Is How I Respond More Important than What Happens to Me?

in #life4 years ago

What if changing our lives from a mess to a miracle is as easy as seeing our world in a different way? Where do we get the courage to let go of being a victim and remember our choice to be here right now? The easiest place to start is by choosing how we react to each situation life gives us. I have the chance today to choose my reaction so I don't have to simply be a function of what happens to me, but I can actually choose how I respond to life.

Now, this might sound like a really simple truth, and yet it's profound. It makes a huge difference for me.

How I Respond is More Important than What Happens to Me!

I originally tried to do this as a live stream video on Facebook, YouTube and Twitch the day I filmed the video for this and I started hearing some echoing and feedback from Facebook. Now, do I choose to flip out and scream, “Oh my God, what the F is wrong with Facebook? I can't believe this.” For most of my life this was how I did respond to any little thing not going my way!

While I didn't choose to have the error happen when I started filming the video that led to this post, I did get to choose how I respond to it as I look over and say, “Okay, well, let's get this fixed” which led to the problem disappearing quickly with no aggravation. Still two months later when this has finally been transcribed and put into a blog post, the results of my actions that day made a difference for what I have to share here with you today!

Now, this sounds pretty easy in that situation, but what about when life throws something more challenging?

What about when a driver honks their horn at me?

Do I remember I have a choice in the heat of the moment or do immediately start retaliating?

When someone says something nasty to my face or insults me, do I remember I have a choice to respond at a level that I want to receive back?

If someone says something nasty to me, and I respond back with something nasty, I'm asking to get more of that back.

Focusing on what I have a choice about

What I've learned today is that life is really good if I focus on what I have a choice about, which is my response. I give up trying to control what I don't have as much of a choice about, that's what happens to me.

When I give up trying to act like I've got control, then I don't have to complain about all the stuff that happens to me. I'll give you an example from this morning of what you might say is life happening to me. Obviously, it's a reflection of my previous choice and response, but so is everything else and everyone else's life.

I looked at my bank account when I filmed this video which showed I had $25,000 in cash. You might think, “Wow, I'd be set for all year with that.” In college I would've told you that I'd be able to live for several years on that. After the IRS took their payment of $14,000, that left $9,000, after Chase takes a month or so of expenses, after the US government takes thousands of dollars for student loans, and after everyone else takes their payment, I would have had close to zero in all of my accounts in cash.

This kind of thing where a lot of us look at our bank account and we go into these automatic fear responses. We don't even think, we all of a sudden say, “All right, I've got to work more. I've got to go on overtime,” or we start criticizing, “the IRS is taking so much money. If this person hadn’t done this, then I would have more money.”

This is often the situation in my past where I would've gone into an unconscious response. I would've simply gone into criticism, looked at the world and tried to tear down the world to make myself feel better, and say, “Look, well, everyone else’s screwed me over, so I'm not going to have any money now and that's everyone else's fault.”

To fix this little problem, I decided to sell my Dash masternode which I bought for $11,000 and sold for $87,000. Today it would be worth more than double that but the fact remains I got through the uncertainty just fine. Again.

How to respond and ask the right questions

I looked at this on the day I filmed the video and thought more about how do I want to respond to this?

What can I learn from this?

What can I do to make this an opportunity for me to have a more helpful business?

As I looked at the money I started thinking about, “Well, what can I do to generate some more income?”

Then, I started asking better questions.

What can I do to generate more income in a way that I will actually enjoy doing it?

What can I do to generate income at a rate that other people will be happy to pay, and yet that I will be happy to receive?

How do I consider everyone else's best interest as it goes for my income?

I kept asking more and more questions.

How can I be of better service today to the people I'm working with online?

In seeing my income, I was motivated to look at my business and look at my choices, and see, “Well, Jerry, people have really enjoyed scheduling calls with you in the past. However, your rate to schedule calls is so high right now that almost no one uses it because most people don't want to pay or see that paying $300 to talk to you for an hour is outrageous. You might be able to help a lot of people if you can put your pricing in a better package. You might actually be able to make more money and help more people, and do it all fairly quickly if you get your packaging for a call system into a more effective presentation.”

As I looked at my bank account and I put all this together, I kept asking these questions, I thought then, “What would be the most effective simple system for me to offer my time available through calls and have a way to get reviewed, and get more calls generated from that system? What would be a good price to put it at, both fair for the customer in terms of what they'd be willing to pay and fair for me in terms of taking the calls seriously, and not feeling like I'm wasting my time taking your call or not feeling like I'm just giving my time away and I'd rather be doing something else, but what rate would I set it at to be genuinely excited?”

You might be looking at my bank accounts and see that for the first time in quite a while, I will be pretty close to not having any operating cash on hand. You might think that it's the kind of situation that would drive a lot of bad behavior. In 2014, it did drive a lot of bad behavior, I simply didn't think much about my own business, I just kept borrowing money. I said, “Well, if I'm short on cash, I'll just borrow some more. I'll just run my credit cards up.”

I responded to the same situation being short on cash in my business in 2012, 2013 and 2014 by running up a ridiculous amount of debt.

That's how I responded, “Well, I want to go to school, I'll just borrow money. I don't even really know exactly what I want to do, I'm just going to make some story up to make it look like I do and borrow a bunch of money.”

Ups and downs in every single situation

How I respond in life does dictate what circumstances I will get in the future. What helps me is to see that I don't really get to have a good or bad outcome completely.

No matter what happens, there are ups and downs to every single situation. This helps me respond more out of love and consciously creates the future I want. I see that I can't really get ahead, that all I can do is get different circumstances and no matter what circumstances I get, they'll have their ups and downs.

You might say, “Well, wouldn't you love to just have a billion dollars and have a bigger house, and have all your debt paid out?”

Sure, that sounds good in theory, but that would introduce me to a shocking number of new limitations, which could be quite traumatic all at once.

I would rather not make a transition from today owing a couple of $100,000 and what you might say, trying to humbly be of service here to you, to all of a sudden having a billion dollars, owing no money and being tempted to get some huge ego like, “Let's show the world how great Jerry Banfield is.” ?

According to the data a huge percentage of lottery winners go broke. They have to declare bankruptcy within just a few years of winning the lottery and you might ask, “Well, that's ridiculous. How could someone who wins the lottery after declare bankruptcy?”

A lot of the things that we think are good in life actually have a lot of negative things we just are in a habit of ignoring. I used to have a bigger house. I used to have a 1,700 square foot house with a pool, three bedrooms, two bathrooms on a corner lot, very nice.

Guess what?

When I had that house, it required a lot more work. Just walking from one end to the other of the house took significantly more time. When something broke on that house, then my wife and I, had to pay for the cost to fix it right before we moved out.

The garage managed to find several different ways to break. The belt broke, the door found some way to get stuck, the hinges stopped, the motor went out in the opener. I must have sunk $1,500 into that garage door right before we moved out and sold the house.

We spent $3,000 for some new windows, which were hanging open. You could literally just go by and pull the window open on a couple of the windows in the house, and then we couldn't open or shut them. I wasn't going to have my daughter in a room where you could just walk in and pull the window open. Owning a house with three bedrooms and two bathrooms, it might sound like the American dream, but especially if it has a pool, that's a lot of work.

I might have been able to tell a story like, “Poor me. I had to downsize and move into this 1,100 square foot home where I now have my office literally in my bedroom, and I don't have a pool anymore.”

I could have tried to cry me a river, “Look how awful this is for my life. Wow, I had this really nice house before and I lost it.”

We sold it and we moved into this house for a lower cost because it was the smart thing to do, especially with me getting banned from Udemy, which just thankfully happened at almost the exact same time.

An opportunity to learn how to do better

How I respond to it allows me to make anything that happens to me into a learning experience, into a growth experience, into something that makes me of better service.

At the same time you might think, "Well, you had a website that was paying you anywhere from 20 to $80,000 a month and you got banned from that, instantly losing all that income. You must have to work pretty hard to look at a way to respond to that in a positive manner."

I look at it that even though I was freed or liberated from the income, I was also liberated from a lot of the downsides of teaching on Udemy when they banned me. I was freed up to create and try new things. In the way I see it, I was freed up to be of better service to you here today.

That's how I've been able to have a business that's still here after five years online when 80% of people who start a business go out of business within five years, and have to either go to another job or find some other way to get by financially.

I keep looking at each thing that happens in my business not as, "Well, this is the end. I can't go on now," but as an opportunity to learn how to do better. This essentially means that what you might call failure is guidance in the proper direction.

Thank God I looked at dating this way because I failed almost every way you could at dating, and I didn't respond very well lots of times. Yes, I'm the guy who wrote lots of long, either crazy or obsessed, or nasty letters to girls I dated.

I would leave voice mails or crazy text messages, and I used to be called things like, "You're a creep," or, "You're a loser," or "You're never going to get along with anyone,” et cetera.

I used to believe them when they said things, and I didn't respond very well either and yet, I kept trying. I still responded to what you might call failure after another, by making another effort. I kept continuing to try and now I have a wife that I love with all my heart, and a daughter, and that's a miracle today.

That's because I responded to each failure with another effort based on what I'd learned on the previous one. I didn't learn how to date successfully as much as I figured out all the things you shouldn't do while dating.

Don't start texting constantly all day every day as soon as you start dating.

How did I learn that?

By doing it.

Don't send way too much information and messages before going out on a date. I've learned the hard way doing that, too.

Don't bother going out with someone again if you're not completely attracted to them. I've learned that way too.

You see, how I respond today gives me the ability to make anything that happens into an opportunity, because really everything that happens is neutral.

Everything has assets and liabilities

You might look at something like my Dash masternode, I invested $10,000, and it was worth almost a hundred thousand the day I made the video. You might look at that as purely good, "Well, that's awesome, Jerry. You made this money, that's great."

It has its downsides too. I then felt obligated to think about that more, pay attention about that more, and talk about that more.

If it had been sitting there still worth $10,000, you probably be reading this now. I probably wouldn't have shared anything about it because it would've been boring like the $100 that's sitting in one of my savings accounts that hasn't done anything except earn like $0.01 interest in a year. I haven't talked to you much about that because there's nothing much to share there.

What helps me today is to see that something in the future won't save me. If I thought having an investment go good would make me happy, it doesn't. Sure, it's nice to look at it and see what it's worth today, but at the same time, with it worth a hundred thousand, I'm much more concerned about keeping it secure and losing it than I was at $10,000.

If something happens to it when it is at $10,000, I can deal with it. When it is at $100,000, that's a little harder to comprehend. That's a little harder to just be casual about it like, "Well, what if someone steals your masternode, which is worth a hundred thousand dollars?"

That seems like something worth worrying about and worth getting crazy about which was what motivated me to sell and join us here on Steemit!.

Good things bring new limitations

Often my thoughts required me to go spend money, or go open up safety deposit boxes at banks, and fire up, get some USB drive so it's totally offline. You see, a lot of the good things that happen to us bring new limitations with them. They bring burdens with them. It's just like dating. When you think someone you're going to date's going to save you, and then you end up getting with them, then you realize that you really have lost some of the things that you appreciated in your life being single.

You appreciated, perhaps, your freedom to go out with different girls, or perhaps your freedom to have your own place, but you gave up some things in order to get something else, and everything in life requires giving up some things in order to get something else. Fundamentally, every different situation has its ups and downs, some things hurt in the moment, but even pain can be helpful for appreciation. When I have a little bit of physical pain, it helps me appreciate the absence of it the rest of the time.

I'm grateful today to be aware of the fact that any situation I get comes with essentially the same limitations in different forms. I'm very grateful to be a married man with a wonderful daughter today.

From your point of view, with the limitations I experienced in my life as a result of working on having a happy marriage on a daily basis and being a good father, or just being a father without labeling what I do good or bad, being a husband and a father on a daily basis, you might look and say, "Oh, those limitations are awful. You mean, you go to bed when your wife goes to bed every night, that you are in by 8:00 PM? You don't go out and do anything?"

No. ?

"You get up and work every single morning?"

Yes. ?

Some of the good things you might think are purely good, have significant limitations and this provides a great peace. This allows me to respond in love, stop and look for some of the bad aspects in something good that comes along, because some of the bad aspects are a bit hard to see at first.

Something like an investment doing very well, it might really be difficult to see what's bad about that until you've got a hold of it, and then you see, “Oh, well, now I got to figure out what to do, when to sell it, or how to protect it, or et cetera, et cetera.”

When I look at life as a playground, I see that when I pick up one toy, I've got an iPhone in my hand here, then my hand is full and if I pick up another toy, if I want something new, I really need to put down one of the things I've just picked up.

A simple life is better

I'm learning that having a simple life is better because it makes it easier to pick different things up and play with them. If I'm burdened, if I'm weighed down with thousands of different things, then it's hard to do anything new. It's hard to do anything at all.

It's like video games, when I was younger, I would get a video game for Christmas or something and I'd be so excited. I’d play it because then that was the only new game I had. There's some kind of sadness that comes when you can just have any game.

Like today, I could buy an Xbox if I wanted to on credit and I could buy whatever game I want. There's a certain kind of sadness that comes with being able to have whatever game you want.

It's no fun anymore when you can play all the games, like for League of Legends, I just bought all the characters in it because I could, and that takes out a lot of the fun of it.

You start to see some of the things in life that you might think are worth working hard for, once you actually get a hold of them, they’re not worth having. What you wanted them for was to be happy. You wanted something to make you happy, but once you get a hold of it, you realize that it won’t make you happy.

I’ve had lots of friends and family members talk about wanting things like jobs, wanting things like children, wanting things like respect, wanting things like a partner, a husband or wife, and the ones who see it as something that is worth doing and not something that will provide salvation tend to be happy with it.

I will be happy when…

The friends and family members who want something for salvation would say things like, “When I have a child, it will be so much better. When I get less hours at work, when I get this pay raise, it'll be so much better. When I buy this new car,” or the phrase “I will be happy when…"

"I will be happy when,” is such a devastating phrase.


Because I've got what I’ve wanted so many times in my life, I’ve realized that getting something won't make me happy. Whether it's getting the food to eat, I'm doing this 16-hour fast right now and I was feeling a little hurt and a little down this morning, and I thought, “Why don't I just have something to eat?” In other words, use food to change my mood because as you can tell for some of these podcasts, I'm really up sometimes and sometimes I'm a little down and that's okay.

A lot of the ways that we respond make things that are a little bad a lot worse. We have a little bit of a bad mood and what do we do?

We go get some medication for it, and then we really start to experience messed up moods.

I just heard in a book the other night that most all of the shootings that have taken place have happened with someone who is taking some kind of medication. A very little publicized fact that I've heard.

How I respond, if I respond with unconditional love, I tend to get really good things back out of life, and then I tend to appreciate them when I have them.

I tend to appreciate everything in life because everything is neutral. Everything is beautiful, alive and great. It's not easy all the time, but I'm grateful today because I remember that I do have some choice about how I respond. I don't ever have to go into those negative routines. I don't ever have to get into the, “Well, you did this and you're so horrible, and you, and they, and them.” I don't ever have to tear the world down, and it won't make me feel any better to tear the world down.

It won't make me feel any better to blame the IRS for their $14,000 tax bill for 3 months. I won't feel any better blaming my family and friends for my own feelings. When I look at how I'm responding, I'm empowered to do something that makes a difference. I'm empowered to share how I'm feeling instead of trying to look for a reason that I'm feeling that way.

I'm grateful to be here with you today.

My exercise is to look at the opportunities I have to make a response today, to see each new opportunity in life as a fun new adventure, like a new level on a video game.

When I wake up each day, this is a brand new level I get to play on a video game.

When I go to bed, I'll get another one tomorrow.

Instead of looking at this as some horrible trudge, some awful job I have to do before I get my reward of death or before I get my reward of being similar to death in retirement where I can just watch TV all day and not do anything. ?

Thank you very much for reading this post which was originally filmed as the video below!

The feedback on the video was so positive that I spent about $100 to get this post created for you here out of the video and then edited it prior to publishing! I appreciate you being here and I hope you have a wonderful day today.

If you found this post helpful on Steemit, would you please upvote it and follow me because you will then be able to see more posts like this in your home feed?


Jerry Banfield with edits by @gmichelbkk


see another great n full juicy of information content thanks @jerrybanfield i like your skills and efforts

like that one and follow me @fajarli


I also try to control my reactions towards situations. This really helps to control and change the situation's outcome. I think that we have a short amount of timespan between the action and our reaction. As we practice to change our reaction this timespan becomes bigger and then we really control the situation. Because the reaction is an instinct that we need to train. As you said, if someone honks their horn at you, what do you do.

You have a small amount of time to think what is the best reaction from you that will benefit you the most. Not simply reacting, but making the situation work for you. And your reaction can be absolutely absurd or shocking for the other person. It is really great to surprise people that way :)))

Taxation is theft.

You have the ability to write so everyone lives in the @ jerrybanfield
And in this article, you get to see life from another point of view.
Thanks for sharing.

Re-steemed and upvoted.

i agree

Agreed. Very applicable to our lives like a book of wisdom, of proverbs.
Jerry is the Steemit Yoda.

Nice post. The interpreter is indeed more important than what is being interpreted. You can get a long way by simply working on your own outlook toward life.

Another amazing article @jerrybanfield. I think the ability, or skill, of asking ourselves the right questions is critical to getting ourselves on the path which will bring us the most joy. I really enjoyed reading about your experiences and how you got to where you are by asking yourself the right questions.

Cool article by @jerrybanfield.
Your details are very pinpointed.
It is a lesson for all on steemit.
Keep on Steemit !!!

every steemit user is different and jerry should stay jerry,he is very good, no one should learn from no one...
stop with the "good content" bullshit, there is place here for junk and other stuff..
it's not personal, but that's what i think... it should be variety here.. steemit should be all peoples platform, and dude we can not avoid it from happen.

Jerry stay Jerry and Joey stay Joey.

I have recently heard the quote, "We can be creatures of circumstance, or creators of circumstance." I think thats exactly the motto you are talking about. Don't just let the current situation force you to think in a certain way... take that situation and create a new opportunity from it.

I love to be creative as a creator of my story, my life.

The truth!

I rented steempower delegation and I upvoted this post with my extra 1500 Steempower

This post is really crazy that you were able to consistently get this amount of steem for your [ots ..

u have around 800 upvotes and about $400 so basically everyone of yoru followers has an average steempower of around a few hundred to a few thousand, and its because youve convinced so many people to invest in steempower, THIS beenfits everryone and they also make money upvoting your posts with curation

an early upvote on a jerry banfield pist garuntees that youll make money off curation!

ANOTHER reason to always be looking and watcjhing Jerrys page! many dolphins and whales are like that! They are garunteed to get upvotes and often get a set amount of money per post like jerry getting around $500 per post now! so whenever he makes a new post if you can catch it early you can upvote it and get way more in curation points!

and so eventually peopel will be asking whales "hey can u let e know when youre going to make a post so i can upvote it early?" or [epople will tell their friends "hey i just made a ppst, its gonna earn alot, so upvote it now" and yeah almost like insider information loll, but not really, but yeah everyone, ALWAYS upvpote jherrys posts early, it is a stragegy to earn more on curation

anyway, its amazing that youre post can basicaly just be about anything as long as its steemit related, its like theres plenty of jobs for anyone who wants to promote steemit

Thank you very much @ackza for mentioning this because some upvoters have even started using autovoters like to make a vote after say 30 minutes from a new post coming out to maximize their own curation reward. This is really nice for me but a big responsibility also because putting me on auto upvote is a lot of trust!

I so enjoyed your post as it resignated with me on ao many levels.
A few years ago i read a book which made so much sense -The Power of Intention by Wayne Dyer.
I decided to put it into practice and at that time i was in a bad way financially so i figured i would apply myself seriously to this book.
Being grateful for whatever came into my life -the good and the bad, seeing myself already having reached my goal, realising that thoughts become things, never to worry how i would acjieve my goal but just knowing i would. - well it worked and today if i find that things are slipping i examine what my thoughts are and change gears - as the book says " if you want things to change then change the way you look at them"
I have recently joined steemit and i know that i will eventually reach my goal - small steps now but moving forward.
Thanks again for your post.

What happens to us is outside of our control. However we do have a choice in how we choose to respond. Therefore how we choose to respond is more important than what happens to us.

Don't react- respond! one of my favorite quotes. Thank you for sharing this @jerrybanfield it has giving me a new perspective for the day again!

You're welcome Joe thank you for reading so many of the blog posts here with us!

You write too much :-D lol ...well said BTW. upvoted

It is true that even when something we don't want to happen happens or when something happens we don't like it is stilll possible to act exemplary.
This is what exemplary people do. ACT exemplary despite the circumstances!

Very important topic, thanks for bringing it up!
"Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it."- Charles R. Swindoll

Jordan Peterson says this very well... You are talking about being able to tell the difference between things you can and cannot change. Here is he is talking about fixing your outlook on the most basic level - CLEAN YOUR ROOM

Yes clean your room is a good way to put it! Thank you for sharing this related video with us!

I must say you write lengthy articles but it;s worth every second. I have read it complete to know exactly what you wanted to say. Especially your 3 bedoom 2 bathroom house. That was more than awesome but yeah, awesome-ness also bring hard work -ness. You have survived much extreme work conditions. It;s very important to live life while you're doing everything you can to earn. You're earning far better than many of us but yeah, it does come with more responsibilites. Hats off to your work sir @jerrybanfield. I have a lot to learn from you.
I am also doing hard work on steemit, though not getting much exposure, as I had to start from the scratch. But I think that's even better. I'll continue my hardwork with you as my inspiration.

...and both of you being mine (inspiration)
I adore you guys, the time & effort you put in while writing...amazing !!!

You're so welcome my friend @amitsharma. I am glad to provide you some value.

@cryptonet love your comment here thank you for continuing to serve with us here on Steemit!

The pleasure is all mine sir @jerrybanfield deep and so sincere..this is one of the things I inJoY..most about your sharing.. most would keep tales of their life...secret.. you share them in such an honest and humble way..this is a quality..I believe you know is valuable...maybe not in $..but in a way of karmic gain..thank you...bless

@thebookofuma you're welcome thank you for reading another post and sharing what you thought was useful about it!

you have been wonderful Jerry..I wish you only success..thank you for your kindness...blessings

great stuff...appreciate your effort...up

You are the boss! Do what you want to do man!


@jerrybanfield, I really appreciate it when you write posts "real life" issue and struggles.

I agree with many of your thoughts, including but not limited to:

  1. We need to live within our means. Sometimes less is more, and a simplified life is a great example of that.
  2. We cannot always control what happens to use, but we can choose how we decide to respond.
  3. We need to take ownership of our decisions, both the good and the bad.

Thanks for all that you do. Have a blessed day!

@sumatranate you're welcome and I appreciate you helping me have the courage to write about these topics because I care the most about them as well and often avoid them because of feeling the pressure to post about cryptocurrencies!

I like toast 🍞

Hey @jerrybanfield - Awesome post as usual!!! Would be lost without your guidance! My latest post is a bit about my journey to where I am today.

Would really value your input and opinion :)

Thank you Jaynie I will read it now!

Appreciate you taking the time to read it and thanks for the awesome comment :)

You're welcome!

Awesome, awesome, awesome!!! And also true for me! 😊 Well done!

10% of life is what happens to you, 90% of life is how you respond to that 10%. Our life is a collaboration of all of our short terms choices we make in our life.

Some good advice and insight into how you think.

This comment has received a 2.00 % upvote from @lovejuice thanks to: @theabsolute. They have officially sprayed their dank amps all over your post rewards. GOOD TIMES! Vote for Aggroed!

perfect truth

I think it's very important for people to understand that failure is only failure if you give up. If you don't give up, then it's a learning opportunity to do something better and advance towards your end goal. Too many people are afraid to fail.

Agreed. Do not stop & accumulate momentum unto success and destiny.

Hi Jerry. I agree with your house analogy. You always get my upvote! We did the same thing. Lifestyle is the key.
Here is my latest lifestyle project and I am looking for Steemit support on it. I think it is a worthy music production project!

That was a really long post @jerrybanfield I feel like you could've summed that up in a few paragraphs, but your very creative in how you blog.

I agree. Maybe 2 parts, a part 1 and part 2 article.

Very true, When any stressful event happens in our life, our mind may go in a many directions and some of our thoughts will be negative. The more our mind wanders, the more difficult it will be for us to remain calm... In those situations take deep and slow breaths and count 1 to 10.


always great info

Life is a choice... we are the stars of our own movie playing the role we chose.
Things happen, but it is how we react to those things which really matters.
do we master our environment or are we mastered by it...
ask yourself , What is my purpose?
because without purpose life is meaningless.
there is a difference between being alive... and living.

How You Respond Can Definetly Say Alot About What Happened To You (Not Always Though) :) !!!

Great story Jerry. You've showed the process of personal growth here very well. I think that daily gratitude, appreciating even small things is very important. I agree that wanting and getting many things won't make us more happy. What's important is the process that gets us to where we want to be or what we want to have. Without it we can fail more easier. It's like wanting to be a rich boss of a huge organization without being able to lead a few people.

"Do the next right thing. Don't make it worst. Ask for help. "

Sounds familiar, doesn't' it?

This is so true, that was very inspirational and motivational. Reality spoken there, thanks for keeping it real with us, we need to live within our means, don't hang our hats too high and try to think out of the box to make our lives what we want it to be. Great content, Keep it up @jerrybanfield!

You have the best Content on Steemit that's why your a whale!!

Nice paraphrase of the life and works of Victor Frankl.
Your post is nice, but people should read his works for themselves to really undertand the concepts involved.

Thank you for sharing your views and understanding this can really push more people to do the same! Thanks

M here to read your post after followed you,upvoted and resteemed it also ......

A very Heart Warming Article , Liked it . Nice to see you being so creative a writing about life. Very honest opinions great post as always. And Yeah The Simple life is Better. Wish you Great Happiness and health. Enjoy and be happy ☺

This is just another grate post @jerrybanfield. you explain very well.


Thank you Jerry great work and as always learned a lot. thanks for using your personal experiences (Masternode) in your explenations

Hello jerrybanfield sir i am a new follower of you and i like to read your blogs but i have a question and that is How can i contact you? i new a new user of steemit and i wanna learn something from. sir,can you please guide me? i need to your guidance

this is a very profound truth we need not be victims of whats happens to us but we can be masters of our sucumstances......Jerry this is a great one

good work jerry keep going

A very thoughtful post @jerrybanfield
Introspect !!! A step towards being close to perfection.
Upvoted !!! Cheers

Thank you for your positive and motivating energy. Keep spreading the love!

Really good effort to creat this post

Hey friend
Good effort

Actually I do not understand what you mean. But I will follow you from now on

I totally agree that having access to everything is not a good thing. I don't want the latest gadget, I want to know that there is something better out there while enjoying my current gadget.

your info is point be noted.. thanx for bringing up.. and great topic...

Really great to hear your thoughts on this and a good reminder to try our best to be in the moment, be the best we can and be the happiest we can.

I could not agree more with this. Definitely the power is in us.

"How I respond to it allows me to make anything that happens to me into a learning experience, into a growth experience, into something that makes me of better service."

Spot on - paradise isn't a place, it's a perspective.

"What can I do to generate income at a rate that other people will be happy to pay, and yet that I will be happy to receive?"

The best exchange in the free market is one that leaves both happier than before. I like your "customer" focus, Jerry.

" I’d play it because then that was the only new game I had. There's some kind of sadness that comes when you can just have any game."

It's a phenomenon called paralysis of choice (and hedonic adjustment). As adults, we have so many options that it becomes tough and actually stress-inducing to pick one. Plus, since you are no longer "forced" to wait until you save up to get a game and can have anything you want now, you "adjust" to that new baseline and no longer appreciate it.

I spend some of my time and effort everyday attempting to reflect on hedonic adjustment and control it. It's difficult and an ongoing battle.

Awesome article @jerrybanfield i love your article and videos a lot its being real inspiration to me.

Lately i have been more aware of how i choose to respond to daily events that happen to me. When we all realize the power we have over our own emotions, that is when you finally feel in complete control.

You are always in control

Valuable insight and many truths to what you have said about attitudes and life. Enjoyed reading it and I love the inspiration and value I get from reading your posts Jerry... thanks!

awesome post man I really enjoyed reading about your experiences and how you got to where you are by asking yourself the right questions.


I agree so much with this! I once read (or saw on Facebook 😜) that everything we experience is experienced internally. For example, when we see something out in the world, the image is actually in our head. Anyway, it made me realize that we have much more influence on and control over our experiences than I had thought.

I wrote a post on this from another angle --

There's so much more to say on this topic. I'll have to give it more thought so that I can better put my views into words. But as I said, I certainly agree with what you've shared here.

Hey Jerry, i know you to be a busy guy. But how the heck did you write this much? Wondering.

Respond; don't react.
Listen; don't talk.
Think; don't assume.

awesome post from jerry banfield

I gotta say, I found you for your incredibly spirited videos on cryptocurrency but have found your videos to have a depth and vulnerability that makes them stand out. Good luck with everything you're doing. And thanks for all the advice and encouragement. It helps us so much!

Hello! I just upvoted you! I help new Steemit members! Upvote this comment and follow me! i will upvote your future posts! To any other visitor, upvote this post also to receive free UpVotes from me! Happy SteemIt!

True words my friend, nice article.

Well said! I'm glad you talked about the maintenance cost that goes along with owning a home. This part really hit us with our first home. Now that we're older and wiser, we plan for a lot of contingencies. I try explaining this to younger people as well. It probably goes in one ear and out the other but if it helps just one person, I'm happy. Anyhow, keep up the positive attitude!

upvoted and resteemed. So what about bitcoin coin ? Is it healthy or like a penny stock?

Amazing article. well done my friend

Words of wisdom .. thanks for all you do @jerrybanfield

Nice topic, just uploaded a post about that from another perspective.
"You are the Creator of your reality", literally and all the time.

Thank you for the inspiration you gave to the world :)

pfff you are a monster. I like youre vids on youtube and now on steemit

You're right @jerrybanfield. Much more important than what happens is how we respond. Attitude is the key. It can help or hurt us. All depends of us. I strongly believe it.

I don't like long articles but this is very exceptional. Thanks for sharing

well done jerry

Keep up the good work with your posts!! :)

Hi Jerry, I recently come across your videos on YouTube I just wanted to say hello.

Thank you for sharing , always great info

..........................Steemit Mode ON !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Excellent article. I kept thinking of parallels to my own life experiences and lessons I've learned. I'll pull it together one day for an article. But thank you for being transparent and real.

Up-voted 100% and resteemed.

This submission has made it on the @MutuWhale MutuList!

Who we are goes beyond what happens to us.

We all need to be thankful for what we have. Reminds me of King Solomon in the Bible. He was the richest man in history. He has something like 600 wives and concubines. I am sure other thought that he was happy. He ended up writing the Book of Ecclesiastics at the end of his life. "All is vanity." Recently I saw a video about Steve Jobs' last words. For all his success, he had little joy in his personal life. He wished he spent more time on relationships.

Really nice story! I like reading your post

Thank you Jerry for you words of wisdom. I believe it's more about innner game than our circumstances. That being said it is challenging to make good choices in our mind to be positive. Much harder in practical application but I believe the theory is correct. I've had more money but been less connected to my true self.

Hello @jerrybanfield,

I am totally new here and I don't really know how steemit works. :-)
Do you have any recommendation how to start on Steemit? Your reply will be greatly appreciated. Thank you so much!

suscriban sen miren el truco de magia mas impresionante que vayas a ver si quieren la revelacion solo digan me en los comentarios y sigan me en

You're indeed an inspiration to young steemite like me. Do you know that one of your upvote can make a huge difference in my life?
Pls assist me. Am unable to pay my tuition fees.

informative content

another amazing article @jerrybanfield

thank you for your information @jerrybanfield

Interesting indeed.

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